Why is it that whenever I try to talk to a guy in public, they are never attracted to me?

[Anonymous]

but yet, if I ask all my guy friends if I am ugly, none of them say I am. They all tell me that I need to work on my self confidence.

I have been to parties, social events, literally no guy approaches me. Some guys will talk to me as a friend but never be interested in me. If I were to try to ask a guy a question on the street, most would avoid eye contact with me as much as possible. Men never say hi or greet me in the elevator either unless they're old men. I can't help but feel ugly.

[jahaims]

It takes more than looks. You can be average without being ugly. Just because you aren't ugly doesn't mean you are attractive.

[Anonymous]

Mayne you are, but you are intimidating. Maybe you should try approaching guys you are interested in?

[spartan55]

They are probably of you asking.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ya attacked out of no where. She’s an anon that keeps saying beauty is subjective over and over again on gag. I only realized it halfway into the chats.

[Asker]

@BarryLiverstone

Does it offend you that the statement is actually true?

[BarryLiverstone]

I don’t feel offended. However it’s against gag rules to keep asking the same question over and over again so you need to stop doing that

[Asker]

@BarryLiverstone

well you seem very offended by it. you just can't stop coming back to argue with me

[BarryLiverstone]

Haven’t been back to argue. Sparten respects respects the rules so I replied to him

[BarryLiverstone]

Because your friends have to lie

[Asker]

i don't think they are.

[BarryLiverstone]

They are. They must

[BarryLiverstone]

Just like you lie to them. Right?

[Asker]

no i am honest with them

[Asker]

but i can tell based on the way they so forcefully and honestly try to tell me im not ugly

[Asker]

they tell me im average. the other one said im pretty

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok so let me ask you. If you have a friend and she asks if she looks pretty. You are honest. Would you tell her she looks ugly if she did or lie to her so you are not mean?

[Asker]

of course i won't lie... not all "friends" are terrible people.

[Asker]

i wouldn't say she's pretty if she is ugly. but i would just kinda try to change the topic..

[Asker]

but these guys really spend like 20 mins trying to convince me that i am not ugly. we were literally arguing back and forth.

[BarryLiverstone]

But why not tell her that she’s ugly? You are honest right

[Asker]

but i wouldn't spend half an hr trying to convince her she is pretty. I would never tell an ugly person she is pretty or trying to convince her to believe it.

i would only do that if i truly thought she wasn't ugly

[Asker]

sometimes you can tell if someone truly means what they say through their eyes and the way they speak

[BarryLiverstone]

Well maybe you are rare. But lots of people will say white lies to try and not hurt a friend

[Asker]

i would just change the topic. i really wouldn't spend half an hr trying to convince an ugly person that she is attractive... unless i truly believed she wasn't ugly

[Asker]

when you spend 20 mins arguing back and forth with someone trying to tell them they aren't ugly, it shows a level of passion about how much you believe in something

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ll be honest. Guys will like talking to a girl who is attractive, healthy , and out together. When you look in the mirror are you seeing that person?

[BarryLiverstone]

No, arguing that long just means you are friends and don’t want to hurt them

[Asker]

beauty is in eye of beholder.

[Asker]

what i see may be different from what they see. I've had people check me out before when I least expected it.

[Asker]

i have also been called beautiful by many of my neighbors

[BarryLiverstone]

I asked you to be honest. Do you see someone attractive who is in shape and healthy?

[BarryLiverstone]

Anyway I can’t see you so that’s my answer based on what you wrote. I have no reason to lie

[Asker]

attractiveness is 90% about the face. Even overweight people can get checked out if they are handsome or beautiful.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok so there is a point. If you are overweight then often your “friends” will not tell you to be healthy and lose weight. Are you overweight?

[Asker]

a little bit.

[Asker]

not all overweight people are ugly... just so you know... I know plenty of overweight people who look handsome or beautiful

[Asker]

2 of them did tell me to lose weight. but they still tell me i look fine at my current weight.

[BarryLiverstone]

I never said that all overweight people are ugly. I know many guys prefer if a girl is in shape. Much like girls want a guy who is in shape right? Not the outliers but in general

[Asker]

you would only need to be totally in shape to be pretty if you aren't pretty.

pretty girls would still be pretty if they gained 15 pounds... just the truth

[BarryLiverstone]

And if they are pretty when they gain 15 pounds then if they gained another 15 pounds are they still pretty?

[Asker]

depends on how they carry the weight. I know a guy who is 300 pounds and he still has women checking him out at the market. His face is gorgeous

[Asker]

some people can gain a lot of weight but their face doesn't hold that much fat.

[Asker]

same thing as gaining 30 pounds. some women gain fat mainly in their butt/ hips and breasts, they dont gain nearly as much fat around their belly. this means even though they gained 30 pounds, they still have those sexy hourglass curves.

It really depends on how the person carries the weight

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ll disagree with you. In general a 300 pound guy will not be seen as attractive to girls. Even if his face is nice. They will see him as unhealthy

[BarryLiverstone]

I appreciate you being willing to have a polite conversation with me and it sounds like we differ in how we see things. That’s ok, I just hope I said something helpful to you as you asked why guys don’t do what you want them to do.

[Asker]

you're probably just jealous...

yea... the 300 pound guy gets hit on at the gym. 2 women already.

[Asker]

if thats your pic in your profile... he looks way better than you

[Asker]

we don't differ. its just that you're ignorant and clueless and immature. I can sense that in your comments. you have the mental age of a 13 yr old

[BarryLiverstone]

Hmm. I will now have to take back what I said about us having a polite conversation. You have now injected ad hominem and that’s not acceptable to me.

[Asker]

whenever i see the word "ad hominem" , its a sign of a troll. there was no ad hominem. now you have proved me right that you're just a 13 yr old boy

[spartan55]

@BarryLiverstone
Where did that attack come from the pink anon? I agree with you, not sure what her deal is.

[Asker]

@spartan55

Agree with him all u want. Beauty is in eye of beholder

[spartan55]

Riiiiight.