Why are guys not attracted to me?

[Anonymous]

I get compliments from women all the time for being pretty/beautiful etc.

However I noticed that although I get stared at etc. guys don't really seem attracted to me, in terms of going out of their way to be around me, like me enough to make it obvious that they like me etc.

Why? It's making me feel like i'm not very pretty after all.

[abc3643]

This sounds like another case of Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

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If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.

"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered about 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...

All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things as something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...

And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.
5. She's going to be bitchy and high-maintenance. (In other words, he thinks she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)

So, he basically thinks that
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) if he did, he'll lose her, and
3) she's going to be a lot of work.

Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...

Oh, and one more thing: Since beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.

So, a beautiful girl needs to be proactive and hit on men instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

[Anonymous]

Well honestly women tend to tell their friends they’re beautiful, that he’s not good enough for you, that you’re too good for him, etc. A millions ways of telling theirselves or each other to make themselves feel better when the reality is they may not be that good looking, or they’re the one who’s toxic. That’s why I always ask women who’s telling you you’re beautiful? Your females friends, maybe some male friends who don’t hit on you. They’re saying this to be nice, to not hurt people’s feelings. I know I’ve said that a time or two. But if those compliments are coming mainly from your female friends chances are they are doing you a great disservice by lying. I hate to be honest, but lying to people about things is never a good thing. Men will put of w women who are bitchy, high maintenance as we call them if they’re worth it physically speaking. As for other women who are average or below average, that shit isn’t flying w men.

[Anonymous]

1. Maybe you're not attractive after all.

2. What separates attractive women that get approached vs. The ones that don't is the effort they put in. That s*** doesn't just happen hun. You want guys attention you're going to have to put in at least SOME effort.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are askng of you are pretty enough to attract guys and you don't post a picture. How are we to answer?

[Asker]

No I was curious if behaviour-wise this is normal for even pretty/attractive girls/women.

[OlderAndWiser]

Your question asks why guys aren't attracted to you ad, for guys, that depends primary on physical attraction. And you ay that other girls tell you that you are pretty, but you end with, "It's making me feel like i'm not very pretty after all." So that seems to be an important issue.

[Asker]

Hmm I've seen really beautiful women being treated a bit badly by guys because although they're beautiful it's not in a very friendly way.

Maybe that's a part of it?

[OlderAndWiser]

Somtimes, men see attractive women and think they are unattainable and thy go into a "spoiled grapes" mode.

[serious]

Okay why does it have to be like that? I mean maybe they just find you very beautiful from a distance and that is it.

[wannabecuck-2]

Could be cuz ur un approachable. One of my aunt she was hottest one she told she was never approached by guys in college cuz guys were intimidated by her looks. Rarely happens but this thing also happens.

[SnowedIn]

It's possible you're so pretty they don't want to try.

[LiamJHayden]

1. The girls might have different tastes than the guys.
2. The guys you encounter might be intimidated.
3. You might not seem approachable.

[Christoff92]

You know guys have that dream of going in bed with a supermodel. But not all guys.