Guys, He takes a long time to reply, is he interested?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys! I started dating a guy from work and we have been seeing each other for about a month or more. Our dates are great and I have a lot of fun, he always texts me after dates and he initiates contact most of the time. The thing is that even though he initiates contact, he takes several hours or even more than 24 hours to text back. However, when he answers, he ask questions and tries to keep the conversation going. I recently started mirroring his actions and taking a loner time to reply too. I am a bit confused, most guys I dated before texted several times a day, do you think he is not really interested in me or what’s the reason? If he is not interested enough, I would like to know it so I don’t loose more time with him. Thanks!

[Finchie40]

Over 24 hours without communication is kind of a ted flag , it’s not rocket science to send someone you care about a text letting them know you are thinking of them , so you have every right to feel concerned about this , especially if he isn’t giving you reasons as to why he hasn’t texted you for that long. When you finally do hear from him does he act like everything is fine without giving you an explanation as to why he took so long to get back to you? If not then he isn’t telling you something. This is shit that cheaters and untrusting people do when a guy really likes a girl he makes her his top priority , and makes sure he contacts her and checks in on her to see if she is ok , so the fact that he isn’t doing this for you is cleverly shady and something you shouldn’t overlook whatsoever, when I really like a girl and interested in a girl , I won’t hesitate to reach out to her or text her or respond to her within a reasonable amount of time , if it wasn’t a reasonable amount of time I would immediately tell her why I couldn’t text her and be honest about why I couldn’t , whether my phone was dead , or o had no signal or I was at work etc. even if it’s late at night , I will still send her a text letting her know I am thinking about her. So if he isn’t giving an explanation as to why he isn’t replying to you back without a reasonable amount of time , he is more than likely up to no good and not telling you something. Don’t ignore this kind of behavior whatsoever, sending a text isn’t that hard to do period

[Purpleronnie]

I would never judge a relationship at any point on how responsive they were by text , that just seems small minded and such an arbitrary and trivial thing to be concerned about. I’m a great guy and have a great relationship with my woman but she knows I don’t respond well with texts , they are just not important to me for or from anyone. Too much gets read into text “ he left me on read “ I can see him typing but I get nothing back for ages” “ he sends me a one word response “ bla bla blah … wah wah wah. So what ! .. what about the time he is with you , what about who he is around you.


Nothing can really be Interpreted in your scenario , why don’t you just talk with him using your voice and ask him and then move on !

[talentedclock]

Some of the best advice I ever got was "play stupid games, win stupid prizes."

Why not ask him why he's taking so long to respond? It could be for a lot of reasons. Maybe he's busy, maybe he simply doesn't like texting, maybe he's trying to play the same game you are so he doesn't appear too desperate.

Just ask him if it would be possible to talk a little more often, but if he's really busy at work or something, also be willing to be understanding and respectful of his time.

[ManOnFire]

I think he is still interested, but he could just be very busy with work or other activities. I don't know what his job is but if he's "successful" then he's probably pretty busy. Or he might just understand that a guy doesn't need to text a woman every hour of the day to remind her that he is there and interested.

But yeah, I think he's still interested.

[Asker]

Thanks for your opinion! Should I do the same and mirror his communication style then?

[ManOnFire]

Yeah, just keep it as mild as he is. You don't want to seem super anxious to hear from him.

[spartan55]

Yeah, he's not interested... in texting. Don't rely on texting to build your relationship, it won't work. Nor should his response time matter. By your account everything else is great, and things are moving forward. Yet you are posting complaining about his response time and mirroring him and that is a recipe for failure.

[foxsquirrell]

I don't know. Maybe its a strategy of his not to appear to much over you, or maybe it is his lifestyle. Did you kiss when on date? If he refuses that then I would say that he is not interested because which guy would not want to kiss a girl he finds attractive?

[BarryLiverstone]

In a sense you are asking us two questions:


1. How can I tell if the guy is interested?


2. Should I mirror his texting timing patterns?


Which question did you want answered?

[Asker]

Both if possible but most importantly the first one haha. Thanks

[BarryLiverstone]

Unfortunately the first one is nearly impossible to answer. I’ll usually just say you can tell by actions over time. If his words (they are expectations) match with his actions then you know he’s still feeling invested in the connection.

Regarding texting frequency. Now that you are dating simply ask him about it on your next date. Ask him how often he prefers to text and if phone calls or other ways to communicate mean more. This is no longer about what you did with guys in your past it’s between you and this guy to set up your own patterns

[SuchSightsToShowYou]

Maybe it's hard for him to text during work.

Maybe he's not allowed to have his phone when he works.

If everything else is good, this probably isn't a red flag.

[AhmetHasanCan]

If a guy is interested in you, he will always respond and never leave you blank.

[Pterodon]

Why don’t you ask him

[kaucky1]

Not interested