Is loyalty expected without a real title?

Question

I’ve been seeing this guy for 7 months, we have been getting to know each other, hanging out as often as we can we are also intimate together. We have discussed exclusivity meaning we both agreed that we are only talking to/seeing/sleeping with each other.

Recently I found out that he was entertaining a girl whom he works with who he claims to have slept with only twice *before* we started talking however he spent New Year’s Eve with her, her friends, and his friends. (Said he was trying to hookup his friend with her friend) He claims that he hasn’t physically slept with her since we have been talking and he has mostly just been avoiding her and only been “entertaining” her because it is awkward due to them working together. He Initially lied to me about this girl saying he had nothing to do with her and she was just a coworker that had a crush on him. He eventually opened up and told me the truth when I kept putting things together because her friends kept trying to add me on social media and I kept wondering why..(she became aware about me) he ended up yelling at her for trying to get her friends to creep on me and he ended up blocking her on everything without me having to even ask. I am glad he did end up telling me the truth and put an end to things with her out of respect for me.

I am not sure if I believe him that he wasn’t sleeping with/seeing or entertaining her more deeply than he claimed to be. He says that I shouldn’t even be asking about or worrying about it and I’m “doing too much” because we are not even that serious because we are not “boyfriend and girlfriend” yet. Even though he has said many times we are working on getting to that and we do act as if we are in a relationship. I am seeing this as a red flag… we have been seeing eachother for 7 months and we DID discuss only seeing eachother so I feel this is a break of my trust.

I guess I am wondering from others perspective if I should just let it go forgive and move on?

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Loyalty is expected from commitment, if there's feelings involved for each other then it implies there's commitment although it shouldn't be expected if it wasn't directly spoken about, which is basically a loophole to fuck whoever he wants, although avoiding commitment and lying are a terrible combo, let's also not forget some women will use the lack of commitment as a justification to go against whatever doubts the other individiual may have when it comes to sleeping with others or "cheating" on a previous connection even if it's in the beginning stage, I believe him having to "entertain her" is already strange since he clearly isn't forced to entertain anyone, mostly if he has an interest in another woman, if he didn't want to "entertain" her then he wouldn't, it's that simple.