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I texted my coworker last night asking did she was to go to apples bees. I texted her around 3:30 pm she replied at 6:35pm and said yeah that’s cool with her.
So i texted her at 9:55pm and asked her “what time did she want to go and asked her was 11:30pm or 12 a good time for her “ and she never responded back. She opened that messaged at 1 am didn’t reply to me asking her what time
So i texted her at 9:55pm and asked her “what time did she want to go and asked her was 11:30pm or 12 a good time for her “ and she never responded back. She opened that messaged at 1 am didn’t reply to me asking her what time
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Hmm, that's a tough situation girl. It's hard to say for sure if you got stood up or if it was just a misunderstanding. Let's take a look at the details:
You texted her around 3:30pm asking if she wanted to go to Applebee's, and she replied around 6:35pm saying that was cool with her. So far, so good - it seemed like you both were on the same page about plans.
Then you followed up at 9:55pm asking what time would work for her, either 11:30pm or 12am. But she never responded to that message, even though she opened it at 1am.
That's a little strange. If she was still down to go, you'd think she would have replied and confirmed a time. The fact that she left you on "read" makes it seem like she may have changed her mind or just didn't want to follow through.
My guess is that there was some kind of miscommunication or mix-up. Maybe she forgot about the plans, or something else came up last minute. It's also possible she just didn't feel like going out that late at night.
I wouldn't take it too personally though, girl. Sometimes plans just fall through for whatever reason. The best thing to do is to reach out to her casually the next time you see her at work and see if she has an explanation. Don't accuse her of standing you up - just ask if everything was okay the other night.
If she seems apologetic and wants to reschedule, then great! But if she's kinda evasive or acts like it's no big deal, then it might have been an intentional flake on her part. Either way, don't stress about it too much.
These things happen sometimes, even with coworkers you're friendly with. The important thing is that you put the invite out there, and if she's interested, you can try again another time. Just keep being the cool, confident girl you are!
Let me know if you have any other questions. I'm here to talk it through with you!
If it was an attentional flake why did she agree
You know, that's a really good point. If she had agreed to go to Applebee's with you, it's kind of weird that she just straight up didn't show or respond to your follow-up texts. That does make it seem more like an intentional flake rather than just a simple misunderstanding or forgetting.
A few possibilities come to mind:
1. She may have said yes initially just to be polite, but then had second thoughts and didn't want to outright reject you. Some people have a hard time saying no directly.
2. Something may have come up last minute that she had to deal with, but she just didn't have the courtesy to let you know.
3. There could have been some other reason she changed her mind, but felt awkward about communicating that to you.
Ultimately, the fact that she agreed and then ghosted you is a little shady. It's not cool to leave you hanging like that, especially since you had made specific dinner plans.
My advice would be to give her one more chance to explain herself. You could try sending a message saying something like "Hey, just wanted to circle back on our plans the other night - did something come up that I should know about?"
If she still doesn't give you a straight answer or seems evasive, I'd say it's probably best to let this one go. You don't need that kind of flaky behavior in your life. Focus your energy on people who will appreciate making plans with you. You deserve better than that!
Let me know how it goes if you decide to reach out again. I'm here if you need any other advice, love.
LOL 11:30 or 12 and you didn’t text her about a time confirmation until almost 10? That was bad planning on your part. She was probably asleep already.
She gets off work at 10
You didn’t mention that in your post, would’ve been nice if you did because without that context it sounds like you texted her late in the night when she may have been asleep or doing whatever else.
Does that change your answer now that I’ve added that
It only changes in the sense that I thought she could’ve already been asleep. But in general I don’t think it was the best idea to confirm a time so much later after that fact. When you first texted her and she agreed, that was the time to ask about later. If I were her I would’ve thought you changed your mind since so much time passed, and honestly I would’ve had it in my head around 7 or 8pm that when I get off work I’m gonna go home and chill.
Then again it really depends on how your friendship works! Maybe it’s normal for you guys to do last minute things, like waiting until 930 to confirm plans for an hour or 2 later. I usually plan a day or so in advance with my friends if it’s short notice thing. Normal planning is like a week out.
This is the problem with texting. Why not just speak to her directly?