Why do a lot of guys say they "like tomboys" when all they really mean is a girly girl who happens to have a few masculine interests?

[EzraIsShy76028]

Like the girl they will be referring to will look just like the average girl with long flowing hair and makeup and shit, and will act like your typical girl as well, but just because they play video games or are strong willed or whatever then they're suddenly "tomboys."

When men think of "tomboys" they rarely, if ever think of one of those super masculine women with a shaved head, lots of tattoos and piercings, huge muscles, deep voice, unshaved body hair, etc, that are most commonly associated with butch lesbian women.

Like basically, they'll think of women who aren't even masculine overall. Like women who are traditionally feminine but just happen to have 1 or 2 masculine interest/s or trait/s.

Also, not saying there is anything wrong with the two types of women I described above, just trying to point out the hypocrisies of men with this logic.

[Effably]

Ah! Language and etymology. Two of my favourite things. Lets do this.

Tomboy is about a 450 year old word and basically meant a rude dude. Around 400 years ago it swapped to describing women who behaved in a boyish manner.

It has always, for more than 400 years, been about behaviour and not looks. Now of course you can use it for looks too and few would disagree!

But. A tomboy by today's standards whether you use deinition or popular connotations is simply a girl who has many more boy-stereotype interests. Like rough sports, beer, games, etc. It has, by connotation or definition, nothing to do with looks.

So when a lot of guys use it to describe a behaviour archetype they like? They're using it in its historically, and present, accurate context!

I know. I know. Lots of words to just tell you that you misunderstood the word. But really, you probably didn't. In your community it might mean unshaven and ungroomed but in the larger world it does not. Not to say it means you're dolled up either, it just has zero actual reference to looks. Naturally, it is still implied by context to maybe not expect a full face of makeup every day.

[EzraIsShy76028]

Hmmm... I can't argue against anything you just said (even if I tried very hard) so I guess the responsible thing to do is just admit I was wrong, lol. And I do admit.

So basically "tomboy" means strictly the way a woman ACTS and NOT the way she LOOKS.

Hence, the two types of women I described in my main post are both tomboys.

It doesn't matter if she has long flowing hair and wears lots of dresses and skirts or if she has a shaved head and a lot of body hair; what matters is if she ACTS masculine.

[Effably]

Yep yep. And honestly, by gracefully beong corrected you won. That is how to handle it.

Of course as you said, both your women could be tomboys.

[Nikki1989]

There's this idea that a “tomboy” is the “cool girl” who's low-maintenance, likes sports, can drink beer, and is generally “one of the guys,” but still manages to be conventionally attractive and desirable.

[EzraIsShy76028]

I think you're 100% correct pretty much. They basically want a "cool girl" like you've described but one who is still conventionally feminine. That's all there is to it, really.

[Anonymous]

That is essentially what a Tom Boy is.

[EzraIsShy76028]

Not really, lol...

The tomboy label basically refers to a woman who is masculine. But the "tomboys" that men usually like aren't really masculine, and if they came across truly masculine women (like the butch lesbian types) they'd be completely turned off.