Do you ever look at potential partners/mates and never act on it? Why?

[NicholasRedone]

Are they just meant to be eye candy to you to daydream about, a crutch for a short time period. Lol. Or even someone to use as a drawing board for "gee if I ever have a partner, I want them to look like that or at least also have that look/that attire, that style, that whatever" about them. Even if you don't act on the crush at first sight / lust at first sight lust ❤️‍🔥 mmmm hot diggity lust 👀

[mstbooblover]

Excellent question actually. We are no robots, and even when already engaged, sexual curiosity is still present. Sure during my wife's lifetime I then still noticed potential other partners, but never acted on it because of plain practical reasons. For instance because I didn't want to loose my wife, and was not willing to serve lies. One lie in such circumstances (and most others mind) only leads to kind of a chain reaction of an exponential quantity of lies. Meaning a mess...

Before meeting my wife, of course I looked for potential partners, but lacked the courage to engage because of a silly form of shyness and possible consequences. Now my wife has passed away since a few years, and I still look for a potential partner, and no reason not to indulge this time. Nevertheless, I'm possibly now passed the required market age range ;0)

There's no reason to feel guilty for having fantasies, but we always still remain responsible for our actions !

[ProbablyClueless]

Well yeah... sometimes it's just a bad idea to pursue someone.

[NicholasRedone]

They may be the polar opposites personality wise and it's like "who'd have thought, looks were good, but the personalities and interests didn't align"

[NicholasRedone]

Even the interests in the same topics, or opposing views "I'm a Democrat, she's a Republican" lol 😆

[NicholasRedone]

"I like football, she likes soccer" lol 😆

[NicholasRedone]

(not to be confused) blah blah blah

[SueShe]

I personally don't look at people longer than absolutely needed.

When I give a glance at a person in a crowd it is solely to see whether I know this person or not or, most importantly, whether this person is representing a potential danger to me.

My glance seldom lasts more than one second. If I don't know a person, then I look at the next target and so forth. If I happen to see a person that may represent a potential risk, then I keep looking at him or her for 2 seconds and then I make my decision if I should avoid that person or if I am safe.

I don't think that I have ever looked at "potential partners" since it does not interest me to be in a relationship and thus, I don't have to worry about daydreams or nightmares when looking at someone.

[PeachyPie93]

Many times.. I don't act on it cuz they are out of my league.

[NicholasRedone]

@PeachyPie93 please tell me more - I'm happy to hear details. Even miniscule ones like "I locked eyes with him the first I saw him" or "every time he'd appear I'd become either really shy or just not be game enough to look him unless I had to" or "I spotted him at work once"

[NicholasRedone]

I'm a sucker for human behaviour and differences quirks from a woman's mind

[PeachyPie93]

Lol well once I was at the checkout and there was a good looking guy looking at me from the other side of the cashier and was just leaning on a cart.. I don't know why lol I looked at him and his face never changed so I looked down.. then he was still watching me the whole time so I looked at him again trying to understand why he was looking at me. Then I checked out and as I was leaving he was watching me leave and I looked back at him and he was still looking at me..
Another time was my eye doctor he was super hot and he was very talkative and smiley and even walked me out and was smiling at me and we said bye.. and he was way less smiley with the people before me and didn't walk them out lol.
Once on a greyhound bus I was with my friend and this guy my age turned around and was looking at me, I felt awkward tho I kind of knew he wanted me to talk to him or say something because I think he wanted to come talk to us but I just looked down because I was too shy and he turned around.
There have been other instances where guys actually came up and talked to me but that was when I lived in Birmingham UK and I was with my ex at the time so he would walk back (because he always walked ahead of me) and look at me like "what are you doing? So I would just say I got to go, bye lol. I'm too chicken shit to talk to guys first or to get rejected and guys seem more scared to make the first move here in Canada so I will take the loss and stay single..

[NicholasRedone]

Hmm sometimes do you often think to yourself right guy wrong time? Or do you ever think back to crushes? Or just move on when you realise they themselves are never gonna make the first move either lol 😆 everyone just wanting themselves, yourself included to your guys you look at, eye candy no one wants though to actually date eye candy lol 😔😆

[PeachyPie93]

I have never thought right guy wrong time.. I have thought about 3 old crushes but I pretty much just move on because I know I will never have them.. I literally only dated 2 guys and they chose me and both of them were kind of mean so I kind have given up on finding love or even attempting to find a partner.

[NicholasRedone]

@PeachyPie93 intriguing - I hear that at my equal almost wise owl years of 30 now going on 31 - however lady, I'm curious. Minus the ones who treated you poorly, typical male scum no offence but I mean there's high value men and there's low value manipulator men, hot or not - rich or not lol even or both - what stood out for you remembering the crushes or the guys who were genuinely nice and caring. Minus being immature or weak - do you remember those guy or that guy? Did you try to find a guy like him again ever aka "he wore X sweater, so I knew if I ever saw a King's jersey, he was my guy potentially* lol round 2 lol 😂😆 I'm just spinning a yarn I'm no sports fan lol let alone basketball 🏀

[NicholasRedone]

Shrugs - or something significant. Sometimes men with fallen crushes latch onto something to at least learn from - aka "next time they won't date blondes" or even "next time I've should've dated the blondes" or even something like "if she wears converses or heels, run" lol 😆

[NicholasRedone]

Lol 😆 so many folks out there with ideals 😄 and wise learnings - at least they're trying to learn from grow from. Lol 😆 rather than repeat repeat same result lol 😆 happily I'm single

[PeachyPie93]

No I never tried to find a guy like that, they all even looked different, so I don't know what I am looking for. Sometimes I think about my childhood friend I had a crush on since I was 7 but he has like a few baby mommas and he got around quite a bit, plus he went bald so I know I don't want to date him but I still wonder what it would have been like to date especially because our parents are friends and it seems like it would have been chill because we get along really well.
All I know now is I don't want to date south Asians even though those are the only guys I dated lol

[NicholasRedone]

@PeachyPie93 what else did you learn about yourself or your dating ideals? Your prince charming? It's okay to have some small checklist (folks will tell ya one shouldn't have some deal-breakers) lol 😆

[PeachyPie93]

I want someone who:
- loves cuddling, and all the physical stuff daily or almost daily, like he won't turn me down
- Someone cute
- someone smart
- someone kind and has good emotional intelligence to understand me
- someone who likes to do fun things with me
- Someone with an amazing smile
- Someone who when I am sad would cuddle me
- Someone who really enjoys my company
- Someone we have things in common with
- Someone that doesn't mind doing tasks together with me
- Someone romantic
-Someone very loving
- Someone honest, faithful and reliable
Though I will probably not find this type of person who also likes me.

[NicholasRedone]

That's a reasonable list and very heart warming. Speaks of your good soul. I hope a man fits this criteria someday for you :) not speaking for me, but when you see shows like those comic book nerds on the old sitcoms or nerds - glasses or no glasses when I say nerd cough or even video gamer cough minus gaming 24/7 - what type of man archetype do you like? Aka is he goth, is he average, is he nerdy, is he athletic, :) I hope you've enjoyed the fun escapism or a trip down memory lane as much as the present and the future

[PeachyPie93]

Hmm.. I don't know.. I guess I either like the funny outgoing guy or the quiet guy.. Usually they are average or athletic lol

[NicholasRedone]

@PeachyPie93 hopefully the quiet guy was more cool and calm rather than passive aggressive weirdo lol 😆 the trade off I feel for you women, it's hard to find any type of man, who's got his head on straight :)

[NicholasRedone]

@PeachyPie93 I hear that lady. See for me, because I'm such a late bloomer (hahahah and mostly it's by choice because I crave being picky and fussy, my fault, or my choice lol) 😔😆 I for one now at 30 think to myself "hmm if I ever date, a woman who's still playful yet not too immature who's like 5-6 years younger than me would do the trick, say 25 or 24" :)

[NicholasRedone]

@PeachyPie93 I hope you find someone awesome lady - 💓😜

[PeachyPie93]

Thanks and hope you can find your girl as well.

[NicholasRedone]

@PeachyPie93 dumb question + did I send you a follow request,

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah I don't accept follows tho.. I just got tired of talking to guys from this site.. well tbh really everyone lol

[NicholasRedone]

@PeachyPie93 sorry to hear that and for you - sighs - I like that GAG if I can be not long-drawn here, GAG is a nice enough escapism to a degree from reality. It's also pleasant that I can see I'm not the only one men or women who sometimes think "it's not from a lack of trying or wanting" to be a better version of me or to think I have lucky stars yet the ironies is the limited nature aka health, job, happiness, roof over head however lacking independent roof, lacking own mortgage or own car, lacking uhh a dating history in my 20s. Though again I'm glad I wasn't married off at 20 and depressed with offspring at 30 lol and a nagging wife. Lol so there's pros there's cons lol 😆😂 blame the human urge to not procreate but want to. Crikey to think of a world without the modern birth controls not just condoms, crikey, anyways - that felt refreshing to highlight.

[Summeroflove]

People do it for a lot of reasons one being they don’t feel like they stand a chance, another is being nervous, another possible reason is that they’re taken, another reason is while someone may look good they know they aren’t someone they see a future with, among many other things.

[NicholasRedone]

@summeroflove didn't they ever grow up to learn, much like apparently eye rolling is a learnt behaviour, that it's not polite to stare let alone glare or gaze unblinking? Lol 😆

[Summeroflove]

I mean staring can make people uncomfortable

[NicholasRedone]

@summeroflove exactly it's not always a "summer of love" stare as opposed to a "glare of what are you looking at, buddy, growl" ouch challenge lol 😆 👁️👁️👁️

[Summeroflove]

Stop staring at people then

[NicholasRedone]

@summeroflove no I've just been the one stared at by attractive women throughout my 20s to present - go figure - Nicholas a catch - to attractive figured ladies even - it's shocking, aye😅 eh? Honestly, what do they see in me a 5"11 slim man lol 😆 and a leftie at that ✋🏻👌🏻

[NicholasRedone]

@summeroflove cause they're all right handed , they turn me off 😔🤣

[Summeroflove]

If someone’s bothering you by stating just give a dirty look.

[NicholasRedone]

@summeroflove lol wouldn't they rather look away or take a hint if I just ignored them or I often wonder why humans don't just look away politely the same way they look out the window and back at the phone lol 😆

[Summeroflove]

Then just ignore them

[NicholasRedone]

@summeroflove how's the summer? 🌞🏝️

[Summeroflove]

It’s good I guess

[Manuelwe]

Many times. I once had the choice of two friends. One black and one red head. Both are same. I went for the black girl but see was wrong so ended up with the red head.
But that caused problems for their friendship. So I had to go.

[NicholasRedone]

Did eye contact feature and did you mean both women eyeballed you at different times. Aka "look at that hot guy walked in"

[NicholasRedone]

Or was it never like that aka lust at first sight

[Manuelwe]

To be honest it was the black one who I got on with first. But later got chatting to her red head friend. I never knew she had a sexual partner white boy. He got jealous. So I got further with the red head.

[David318578]

All the time, probably 1000s of times. If you are in a relationship as a guy you are going to see other women that are extremely attractive, but you don't act on it, unless you have an open relationship that is lol

[Anonymous]

Isn't that how women normally have always been when it comes to men?

[NicholasRedone]

They're real stare bears - I'm sure women feel the same of some men 👀👁️ 🐻

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes.

Because of government laws regarding immigration, and the consequencial fear that I'd be seperated from her because of deportation.

[Guanfei]

I know I have no chance, and as hard as it is, it's still less painful than rejection.

[fish5505_87]

When I was single, it was either because of Insecurity (not being good enough) or the evil rumor mill was at work!

[zagor]

More often than not.

[Crazzyyworld]

because he/she is lazy