What am I doing wrong? Help?

[Anonymous]

I am 22(F), a virgin, have never been in a relationship before, and I don’t have social media (Instagram or Snapchat) I’ve been trying out dating apps, and when I let guys know this they always assume I’m lying or I’m faking it. I have never gotten past the talking stage, I get stringed along or they stop talking to me all together. I am not lying I’ve never had a boyfriend nor have I ever done anything, hell I haven’t even had my first kiss, and. If I’m being honest I find social media to be so stressful so I would rather go without it. My question is what am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

ok I’m going to ask a couple questions here that others aren’t. Maybe they didn’t think of it or felt that it would be rude or mean to ask. But if we want to figure this out we have to talk about all the possibilities. First of all are you cute? I have to ask because most men gravitate toward women who are cute. Not saying that women who aren’t as cute don’t ever meet someone, but it can lessen chances of meeting a man. Especially if you’re looking on the top shelf when you should be on the first or second shelf. Second, don’t have issues? I read that you’re afraid to drive. Why is that? That’s why I ask if you have issues.

[Asker]

Well I think im pretty cute, yk, i have a baby face going on, stuff like that. And im afraid to drive because I was in an accident when i was a teenager (minor one) but still an accident where this person tried to run me and mom off the road, and then when I was probably a toddler, me, my mom, and my little sister did get run off the road running from my abusive father, so…

[Opinion Owner]

So those weren’t accidents. Those were done on purpose. Two differences. But I can understand how you’d feel.
What type of men have you gone after? If you’re as cute as you say you are then you should have no problem meeting men. It’s too bad you don’t have a pic posted for us to see. It might be you too as well sabotaging yourself because you tend to think maybe everything turns out to be the same no matter what w whatever man. Do you think it could be you who’s bringing about these results?

[Asker]

I like taller guys, that are a little older than me but in the same age range. I don’t know if im sabotaging myself, im pretty open to all kinds of first dates, I think it might be my mom who is unconsciously sabotaging me because she gets really paranoid when I go out and wants me to always send a lot of details about the people im meeting, or asks me questions about them, questions i don’t even know yet.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s possible. So if you had to think about it why have you never had a relationship? I can understand being a virgin at your age. Nothing wrong w that. But to have never had a relationship.

[Asker]

I guess I was just never given a chance

[Opinion Owner]

But why were you never given a chance? If you had to really think about it.

[Asker]

Being shy could be it, im very shy

[Opinion Owner]

There’s a lot of shy women who still end up married w kids, who have boyfriends. It’s not like you’re the one who’s initiating these encounters w men. What do you look like if I may ask?

[slatyb]

Find an activity that you enjoy that attracts single men. Maybe a swing or salsa dance group -- most cities have them. Outdoor activity groups are mostly single men -- hiking, biking, skiing, sailing, etc. Or take a sailing class or something similar that will also attract men. Maybe co-rec sports like kickball or volleyball. Board gaming or chess are also great because most of the players are men.

[Nikki1989]

You're not necessarily doing anything “wrong,” but there are probably some factors related to your situation that might be contributing to the challenges with this. The old saying “you have to be in the right place at the right time” often rings true in this case.

[petitedollbabee]

It doesn’t add up. Most guys are not bothered by a woman who’s never had a relationship/sex, and doesn’t have social media. Something else about you must have put them off.

[Asker]

I dont have a license (I’m working on it, just afraid to drive) and i still live with my parents, is that it? Because if not then the only other thing i could think of is my race (im black)

[LionBrasa]

This is the first time I've seen someone run away because they know they're a virgin. You're not doing anything wrong, just be yourself, one day you'll find a real guy.

[glennos89]

Your not doing anything wrong, dating apps have made it incredibly more difficult to find a relationship especially if that's not your thing. I also struggle using dating apps so I gave up on them so hopefully I find love again at some point

[Berethor]

You are going nothing wrong, you just unlikely, well being anonymous is not helping.

[Mrtcn01]

where do you live miss?