Guys, How easy is it for you to switch off your feelings for a girl you're attracted to (Details below)?

[DishLady]

I'm just curious how easy it is for you to switch off your feelings for a girl that you're really attracted to?

• Can you switch your feelings on and off like a light?
• Do you have lingering thoughts throughout the day but just soldier on with your work?
• Do you just not think about her till she's in front of you again?
• What would make you STOP thinking about her?

[Lliam]

If I was attracted to someone but never in a relationship with them, I just didn't think about them. I don't develop crushes or get obsessed over someone's looks.

If I'm in a relationship, I can't "switch off" my feelings, but my feelings can fade over time. That happened with several girlfriends when I was young. The infatuation faded after while.
And my feelings can change abruptly if they betray me.

I met a 30 year old woman when I was 36. We wound up living together for almost two years. I wasn't just infatuated. I truly feel in love with her and she loved me.
As it turned out, we could not have made it as life-long partners and separated even though we still loved each other. That caused me the greatest pain I have ever experienced in my life.
To this day I still love her and will never forget her.

I've been happily married for over 28 years. I love my wife and my feelings will never change. She has remained loyal through thick and thin. I know she will never betray me.

[HawkPerception]

Does attracted to mean physically or emotionally?

If it's physically and she's treating me badly, any feelings I had for her usually turn off automatically. It's not my choice. If a girl treats me badly I just become unattracted.

If it's a girl I'm emotionally attracted to, then I can't really turn off feelings very easily. If she treats me really well and has a great personality, it's not likely I'll become unattracted to her. But if she starts to gain weight and becomes very physically unattractive, it is a factor in my feelings towards her. If it's genetic issue and out of her control then I'd still love her though.

[DishLady]

I like that you separate the two. It IS important.

[Friendlybro79]

It takes effort to get through your feelings. I don't switch them off. Switching off is ignoring your feelings which is not good in my opinion. I let myself feel what I'm feeling without dwelling too long.

I never get consumed with one thing or one person in my thoughts because I'm not an obsessive type.

To stop thinking about a person I have feelings for that just can't be reciprocated the way I would like, is to acknowledge to myself it's not going to happen, and remind myself it's ok to move on.

I will focus on being myself and eventually know that I'll meet someone that can reciprocate mutual feelings. Aka go out and meet new people without stressing about having to be in a relationship asap.

[DishLady]

What if you do meet someone with mutual feelings? What's next for you? Switching on and off to test her reaction? Or moving forward with her?

[Friendlybro79]

For me just be myself. I don't want to play a game to test reaction. Not saying you're implying that but I just act like myself and if I notice it's mutual, I will act accordingly to the given situation.

For ex if I let a woman know my intention is more than friends, usually after getting to know them for a little bit at least, I will just ask if she feels similarly.

If she says yes, it goes into making time to see each other next. So yes moving forward with her is what I would do.

I don't like being tested like I'm an experiment. I'm very much my genuine self always and will show who I am from day 1. If someone tries to test me or play a game with see how I react, I might call it out politely or playfully and ask to just have them be their genuine self.

I can't know if I like someone if they are worried about testing me to see how I react. Just be yourself and I'll show you who I am.

[DishLady]

Same.

No, you weren't implying that. I appreciate that you're a real man with a moral compass where communicating this sort of thing is concerned. I encountered someone who was just very... trifling.

[Friendlybro79]

Thank you for kind words. I'm sorry to hear about your encounter. I think we're living in strange times where we've lost manners and how to treat each other as people.

I think there's so much that pertains to the why behind my feelings.

[DishLady]

Yes, exactly.

(Strange times indeed!)

[Summeroflove]

It depends on how attracted I am if I barely know her and it’s only a little pretty easy especially if she does something that causes me to loose interest or I just eventually move on.

Though getting too attached it can definitely take more time.

[worldscolide]

For me, having feelings for someone and being attracted are two different things. In my present married life, there are several women I have a small amount of attraction to, but I would never place my self in a situation where feelings could develop. And I would never act on the attraction.

So. I'd say it's not a matter of turning feelings off, it's a matter of never letting them develop, which with my wife, is easy.

[Joshydavid25]

-If it's me being physically attracted to the point of infatuation, no.. As a man, we can get pretty attached to a girl we find physically attractive..

-This is definitely the way.. I would just soldier on with lingerie feelings..

-Nah, unfortunately if she treated me not so great, it'll make me think about her even more throughout the day.

-Mostly time and not seeing her for a while.. Or seeing another girl I'm really attracted to..

[Joshydavid25]

Lingering..***

[Andrewsmith14]

For me, it depends on the situation. If I know nothing can happen, I’ll mentally shut it down and focus on other things, but that doesn’t mean the thoughts disappear instantly. Sometimes they linger, especially if there was a real connection or strong chemistry. But if I see something that makes me lose interest—like bad character traits or just realizing we’re not a good match—then switching off my feelings is pretty easy.

[David_beckham]

Q. how easy it is for you to switch off your feelings for a girl that you're really attracted to?Well we boys are also humans and we also have a heart. So its not that easy for us to switch off feelings.
Q. Can you switch your feelings on and off like a light? Well we aren't a robot so we generally don't have a "switch"

Q. Do you have lingering thoughts throughout the day but just soldier on with your work? In the porcess of forgetting someone, we do generally burrie it under work. I don't think so its a "boys" thing but a general thing.

Q. Do you just not think about her till she's in front of you again? Thinking about her depends on many things, sometimes small things can ignite the memory.

Q. What would make you STOP thinking about her? Nothing, its just time which can make us stop thinking about her.

[Mark987]

Depends how much time and how well you both have connected. I was dating a woman for 3 months, and it literally took me over a year to get over her.

[DishLady]

I hear you...

[Nikodemus]

Not easy at all. I have had two work crushes and two weeks of intermittent euphoria after a stranger greeted me while I was out shipping. I spotted her again while I was queueing to pay and that was the last I saw of her. Not so muchfor the feelings that welled up. I brought myself down from that giddy state of altered reality by talking to myself about and how I didn't thinking was good for me.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Depends, but most guys if triggered can turn a 180 in an instance.

[DishLady]

What if they’re not triggered? Like the fellow so one way in front of you and another way online/with friends?

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

easy, he was and never will be invested in a relationship with that person. Nothing more than a placeholder.

[Shiprex]

I don't think it's that difficult to stop thinking about someone who's attractive physically but the more familiar with her and the character she has that builds a deeper and more multifaceted dimension to who she is and whether she STILL fits that "attractive" position further and deeper

[DrPepper12]

It's hard. I'm only friends with my exes due to time and space after.

[DishLady]

I think I only still speak to ONE of my exes and that's because we both agreed we were too young for anything to happen and broke things off truly agreeably.

[RavVid]

Generally when I am working I am working though I did find, this one time, I had been caressing the cleft between the mouse buttons for about 10 minutes.

After that I banned my self from thinking about girls whilst at work.

[Professor-college]

Why would I want to turn off my feelings for a girl I like.. that doesn't make sense to me

[DishLady]

I had a situation where I felt like the guy was "on" when he was around me then "off" till the next time he was around me. I didn't get what was going on. But it's been persisting that way for a while now and I'm letting it go. He's messing with me -- and if he's not he's part robot or something. Very heartless way to treat a gal.

[Professor-college]

Well I can imagine he must be a very strange man who doesn't deserve your attention because anyone who's lucky enough to get a woman's attraction should be grateful and a gentleman

[DishLady]

Strange indeed.

[Professor-college]

Yeah... I'll let meet some guys have talked to are very weird

[LiamJHayden]

If she is a decent person the feelings will flow from that. If she proves me wrong on her being decent, then it is all gone in an instant.

[exitseven]

It was always the bane of my existence. Now that I am married I am cured

[egarcia1360]

To stop feeling a certain way about someone on command? Impossible.

To distract ourselves from thinking about it and do whatever we have to do? Just a day in the life.

[CubaPirate]

True feelings are really difficult to turn off but gradually fade when you're ready to move on and get looking for another

[HungTexan]

It’s really hard for me. Even casual things with my wife and her friends. It’s hard to switch off.

[OlderAndWiser]

After 50+ years of dating he, relationships, and marriage, I’m still devoted to my part get, but not obsessed. It’s not a conscious thing.

[hello4433]

If it's love then it will be really really hard to change it

[glennos89]

Nobody can turn feelings off like a light switch. Some may pretend to do that but they are just trying to mask their feelings

[Stevepro68]

The only thing that really switches it off for me was meeting someone that I am into.

[Kaneki05]

No such thing for me. I never lose feelings they just linger less so or more so.

[JohnnyB123321]

No. It is not easy for me. When I like a girl I’m kind of all in… I can manage my feelings, but they usually are always there once they are there….

[Rohaan2020]

Just getting busy in day to day tasks and focusing on career makes it easy to stop thinking about her

[robocop666]

No in me it shows but as I loo good women don't care

[DishLady]

? ? ?

[robocop666]

It is highly obvious when I like a woman but they don't care. I look good.

[DishLady]

Aha... ok.

What makes you think they don't care? Perhaps you're not making your feelings clear?

[NathanDavis]

I've never done that in my relationships...

[masterSir]

depends on how horny I am