Am I trippin or am I wasting my time n energy?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend has never been in a serious relationship like ever and is very I man u woman and doesn't really show ME any sign that he hears me when I ask him to be more attentive to me, but I've seen him with a way different energy to other people that he says are irrelevant to him. I am over wasting my time in life and want to just have one person to grow with. Is this behavior of his a sign that it's not gonna happen or?

[SueShe]

Looks like you are indeed wasting your energy here. If you are really in that age group and your boyfriend as well, that means he has reached his midlife crisis and with over 40 years of age, he is not going to change. He is settle with his habits and I doubt that you will ever be able to change them.

I do believe that it is not going to happen and if it does, then only on a temporary basis until he got you hooked and then, he will slowly and progressively go back to his old self and his habits.

[Asker]

But he's 33!!! Lol ughhh

[SueShe]

Even at age 33, people have taken their habits, mainly if they have never been in a relationship and it will be difficult for them to make such a drastic change and to adapt to live with someone.

If you try to change his habits and to be more open and caring, he might tell you that you are trying to control him and that will lead to even more conflicts.

[Anonymous]

Can you elaborate on what you mean by "be more attentive to me"? Based on your limited description here it sounds like his behavior may be a red flag, but asking your partner to be more attentive to you also sounds like it might be a red flag.

[Asker]

So more attentive as in matching my energy I do my best to express my love and care for him, yet I get the bare minimum if that in turn. I am always the one to initiate intimacy or conversation or ideas to go do something exciting or even simple.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok yeah, lose him and find a better man. He's not going to change. You deserve better.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is more attention according to you?

[Smile456]

"doesn't really show ME any sign that he hears me". That says it all.

[spartan55]

He's not into you.

[In_Trance]

wasting your time