Men, Can I get some advice?

[Anonymous]

This guy I've been seeing has been distant, I did end up messaging and told him if he's not interested he can let me know so I'm not wasting my time. He told me he is still interested, he's just been going through things (he lost his job so he's trying to find a new one). I've been understanding, and have sent words of encouragement and give him that space to sort things out. We didn't talk for a week after he said that, so I reached out just to see how he's doing - which he said he's been ok just stressed and the next day he contacted me and we hung out. I brought him Tacos from his favorite place since I remembered him telling me when we first met he loves them and that's something that would brighten his day.. but, I haven't heard from him in 2 days.. and I get he's going through things but I've been the main one to reach out for 3 weeks now, also didn't see him for those 3 weeks til the other day.. I really don't want to waste my time and him be stringing me along for convenience.. When we hang out, We have a good time, a lot of joking and flirting.. His personality is similar to mine. Any advice on how to approach this? Should I continue to be patient? For how long? Or Do I just end things with him?

[MannMitAntworten]

I could go either way here. In one hand he maybe feeling a bit undeserving of you since losing his job and not acquiring another yet. That he does not wish to come off as taking advantage of your benevolence of time, energy, and even money. Which could be why the distance on his part. Then on the other hand he could just be just wasting your time but just isn’t cutting you loose because he had nothing else going on in his world.


Those would be my two guesses. Not paths I would take in either event … but have seen it.

[spartan55]

Bro is unemployed, cut him some slack.

[Asker]

I am.. I really want to be supportive, and don't want him to think I think less of him because of his situation. I enjoy spending time with him, I just worry about being strung along since he doesn't really reach out to me. But maybe I'm overthinking.

[spartan55]

How often do you see each other?

[Asker]

I have seen him twice in the last 3 weeks, and he's the one that asked to see me.

[spartan55]

A small bit of advice. Try to avoid the phrase "wasting my time" when discussing your situation.
So, I'm confused about your view that he is 'stringing you along'. Then you just said that he is the one that asked to see you the last two times. So, you are contradicting yourself a bit. Also, what is stopping you from making plans to see him?

[Asker]

Yeah he asked me to, but I've been the only one reaching out to talk and check in on how he is doing in the last 3 weeks. He doesn't text me first.

[spartan55]

Okay, is that really so important? Especially considering he has been the one planning?

[Asker]

You're right.

[Asker]

I'm probably just overthinking