How to know if a guy is shy or not just concerned related to you?

[Anonymous]

So straight to the point, i ignored him straight, he did reach out and even called by asking how am I and why I haven’t been replying to his ‘two texts’ in total which say ‘Hii’ it’s like i just talked in cold tone and it has been 2-3 days but he hasn’t reach out like he doesn’t know how to carry a conversation, so i am just asking is it because he is giving me some space or he’s just not concerned.

[SteveSmith1985]

You didn't reply to him. Then he calls you to ask why. You're cold to him. And you're wondering what the problem is?

I... mean... clearly the guy thinks you're not interested. You have been as clear about that as you can possibly get. You were so clear about it, you were straight-rude.

He is thinking you're not concerned! obviously! You acted like you were extremely not interested. You told him you're not interested in everything you wrote here. This is crazy.

If you're interested in this guy, you'd better call or text him. Otherwise, of course he's gone. You were clear. Why on earth would he keep trying?

[Asker]

Thanks but the thing is i expect a lot with him, it’s like i was calling him and texting him and when i stopped to see if he cares he just dropped ‘Hii’ i mean put some more efforts , either this or he’s just not sure where to stand

[SteveSmith1985]

It's fine to expect a lot from him, as long as you were putting in equal effort. In other words, you can't expect anything you didn't show yourself (in terms of interest).

If you were the one putting in the effort at first. Then you suddenly stopped (because you wanted to see if he'd message you)... and he does message you... but you react coldly because you're not satified with him saying "hi'... then he's still going to think you're not interested.

He would realize that he should take some initiative. And he did. But saying "hi" is just fine. It's trying to start a conversation. It's not that he wasn't willing to put the effort in... it's just that he didn't send you a long message right away. He just tried to start a converation. If you shut-down that attempt by acting cold in response... it amounts to the same thing. You look uninterested.

He cannot possibly know that you're acting that way because you're not satisfied with him saying "hi." He just sees that you're not interested.

You are expecting him to be able to read your mind here. He can't. So he will react to whatever you show him. Right now you're showing him you're not interested.

You are going to have to reach back out, to get things back on track. If you don't, the odds of him figuring out that you're actually interested, and just wish he would put more effort is pretty much zero.

You also need to re-think this whole "hi" thing. That's fine. It's just begining a conversation. It isn't low-effort unless he doesn't seem to want to talk to you once the conversation gets going. It was you who seemed to not want to talk to him (in your cold responses).

[spartan55]

Why would want to waste his time playing games?