If a guy supposedly likes you, why wouldn’t he want to talk with a girl about how they feel about each other?

[Anonymous]

Is the conversation too heavy, too serious, guys don’t like to talk about feelings or overwhelming? does that scary guys off or is he just not that interested?

[Shiprex]

Men want to process emotions within themselves and come to conclusions and make plans without interference from outside. They like to be in charge of themselves which is something women fail to grasp and seem to want to change. WHY?

Women LIKE to emote and talk about it with others for THEIR reasons, men don't FOR just as valid reasons that conflict with what women do.

We're not scared or insecure or any of those loaded accusations women like to throw at men a lot these days BECAUSE WOMEN REFUSE to learn how men work and want MALE girlfriends it seems these days.

The feminist revolution, good and bad, has brought women in to MEN'S spheres of functioning in society BUT without men's behaviours or even awareness of how men operate. We DON'T EMOTE because we don't need to, we can regulate and internalise as well as process ALL the same emotions without letting others know or you could say "burden" them with or "validate" ourselves with sharing because we don't work like women do. Don't forget WOMEN get stressed more easily, deeply and for longer, rely on therapy and medication for emotional/mental health issues than men.

SO, ladies, MAYBE it's MEN doing life in a more sustainable way mentally, emotionally and psychologically than women. The whole therapy and mental health industry is based on people NEEDING to have them provide a service, largely to women and the argument BUT MEN TOP themselves more is only because men are better at it than women who ATTEMPT it 3 to 4 times more regularly and are fortunately less good at completing it.

[Asker]

Thank you for your perspective on this, yes it’s really interesting to know. I guess we are both so different in our thinking, but thanks for explaining that.

[Shiprex]

You're welcome. It's important for each of us on either side of the gender spectrum to have an awareness and compassion toward each other since we can make each other's lives to much better and more fun

[Shiprex]

Thanks for the SO

[Stevepro68]

The truth is men learn very young that weakness and vulnerability brings pain. Aggression strength and emotional distance brings respect and or fear from your enemies. Even in adult relationships many women get severe Ick from male vulnerability. So sharing feelings requires maturity and trust that doesn't come easy in any relationship.

[Asker]

Thank you for this, really appreciate it. So would I have scared him off by suggesting it do you think? What should I do? I just wanted to know if we were on the same page or not.

[Stevepro68]

No not scared him off but trust takes time and reliability. Just give him more space for now

[Asker]

Ok thanks so much, that’s really helpful

[Babebytheshore85]

Because ge doesn't like you. Like come on, are you seriously asking this question?

[Babebytheshore85]

*he.

[serious]

I don't know either it could be because of his shyness or he has too much pride. Otherwise it has to be his mentality that he only wants to protect himself from getting hurt and not take any risks.

[Asker]

Ok thanks for this, yeah he did go through recent divorce so maybe that explains it a bit.

[ManOnFire]

Maybe he's worried that if he tells you, you won't feel the same way back. Or he's worried if he tells you that later on he will lose his feelings. Or he's shy about it. Could be any of those.

[Asker]

Right I see. Would it be the same if he knows she likes him? With the second one- you mean he could just stop liking you?

[ManOnFire]

I would imagine that he would feel even better telling you if he knows you like him too.

Possibly stop talking to you, or he will worry that if he loses his feelings it will hurt yours. And make things awkward. But if you like him too then he should be cool with it.

[Asker]

Thanks, so you mean he doesn’t want to talk in fear he might lose his feelings? Yep he’s avoiding taking that’s why I ask.

[ManOnFire]

Not necessarily for that reason, but it may be one. I think it's more likely that he's just shy and maybe doesn't know how to say it.

[Asker]

Ok thank you, what can I do?

[ManOnFire]

You should just keep doing what you're doing with him. Liking him, being nice, friendly, letting him know with your actions that he is welcome to get closer to you. Eventually he'll say it or express it.

[Asker]

Ok thank you,

[OneViewpoint]

LOL, you may be ready to talk about those things. He may not be there yet. Why is it hard to understand that? Because you are totally self absorbed and can't see he may have a different approach to relationships? Why doe he need to be on your time line?

[Asker]

Thanks, no he doesn’t. I guess when you know there’s feelings, I just like to be direct I guess, on the same page and know where I stand, but I can appreciate others don’t.
Do you think he just wants to see how things do before talking about stuff like that?

[OneViewpoint]

Yeah, I think that's very likely. He's just a more cautious person when it comes to his feelings and commitment. Upside... he may take that VERY seriously once he does commit. That may be why he takes longer to get there. He doesn't want to make a mistake. And self control overrides his basic instincts. Not bad character traits at all. Calm down. Patience.

[Asker]

Ok thank you for explaining that, really appreciate it.

[OneViewpoint]

You're welcome. Think about this too. He's refusing to lie to you to give you what you want to hear. Which he could do to get what he wants from you. So he's not THAT GUY. Good or bad? Which guy would you rahter have?

[Asker]

You mean that he might not feel the same way when you say refusing to lie? Yeah I get what you mean, yes he has good character.

[OneViewpoint]

No, I mean he's just not ready to make that step... yet. Even if he is feeling it. And he won't lie to you to make it easy on himself. Stop over thinking it. It's a good character trait.

[OneViewpoint]

He wouldn't take that risk if he didn't care about you. He'd just lie to you. Nobody wants THAT guy.

[Asker]

Ok thank you so much, yes will do. Appreciate it

[In_Trance]

Not that interested