Why do guys assume a girl likes them when she talks to them?

Question

jennyPuss · Accepted Answer

You have it backwards. You assume guys assume you like them, which is just projecting desire for attention.

You WANT them to assume you like them because it means they hope to gain your affections, which is affirmation of your worth.

Why do you assume they assume you like them? Instead of saying you think they like you? It generates the same effect while assuming and assigning a presumptive fault against them.

Perhaps you DO like them? But you don't want to admit that. In order for you to like someone that would put you in a weak frame. No no no... can't have that. First the man must prove that he is worthy of you liking him. It can't possibly be that you are giving off flirtatious vibes and messing with men and then playing innocent. And if you did, you CERTAINLY would be the first woman to do so!

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Girls can be SO dismissive of a guy they’re not interested in that if a girl suddenly gives them attention all their senses perk up and they instinctively presume you’re interested. It’s then up to them to choose if they’re going to suss out their level of interest in you or just ignore you. The whole thing is a bit “Animal Kingdom”/“National Geographics”….

If the guy’s interested he’ll shift into preening mode (which you can look up) and possibly to some peacocking (showing off something they’re proud of, or perhaps their vocab and manners bump up a notch, etc).

Tarifa · Accepted Answer

Because we like the attention. Because we men are instinctively nervous around someone we like or find cute. It already starts at a very young age: you were the hero of the day if the most beautiful girl at your birthday party would sit by your side and talk to you, you were the envy of all the other boys. Granted, boys are a bit basic. Most grown up men never completely leave that state.

Because we are all looking for attention and approval. It's human nature to do so. We do not always assume the girl will like us, but it certainly opens up a possibility to get to know her better. That doesn't mean we will flirt with any girl we meet, but the initial tingling sensation of just the possibility of starting to flirt is enough to get our mind flying.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because most guys’ don’t just want to be friends’ with a girl he is attracted to , he wants her to like him the same way he likes her , if a guy is calling you and checking up on you and investing a lot of his time into you , he wants more than friendship with you trust me , if he isn’t investing a lot of his time into you then he more than likely just considers you a friend

ThaMaskedMarvel · Answer

The Quick Answer Is: Within certain settings, most people don’t just approach people just to talk. So, when they are approached, they think it’s for a reason other than just to talk.

This is just part of the rules of the game of life. If I were a woman I’d totally avoid striking up a conversation with guys I didn’t find attractive – at all costs. If I needed help with something, or wanted a conversation, I’d ask another woman. It’s super easy for guys to think you’re approaching because you like them. The idea of a woman starting a conversation with a guy just to start one, when she could be talking to someone she already knows just doesn’t make sense to men.

The More Comprehensive Answer Is:

Here’s how the mind of a guy works…

Woman talking to people she knows. = She wants a conversation.

Woman talking to a guy she hardly knows. = “Whoa… She’s, like, STILL talking to me. Wow, OK, I’m going to see if I can get a date out of this. It’s kinda 50/50 if she likes me but I gotta see where this goes, otherwise I’ll be wondering the rest of my life. Welp! Time to ask her out!”

OR…

“Dang, she just did most of the work for me. I didn’t have to approach her or come up with much to say. She’s doing most of the talking. Man, this is my lucky day. Welp! Time to ask her out!”

OR…

“Whoa, a girl I don’t even know is randomly talking to me. She totally 100% likes me. I mean, why the [bleep] else would she be talking to me, a guy she hardly knows or doesn’t even know at all? Like, what girl actually does that with a guy ever, only to have a conversation? That’s what other girls are for, not guys. She totally must dig me & it’s insanely refreshing to see a woman take some initiative in approaching a dude first. I think I’m gonna like her. Welp! Time to ask her out!”

I’ve given advice on this site to young women trying to figure out how to approach cute guys. I told them to approach it like they’re making a friend. Ask what music he likes, his favorite radio station, favorite bands, does he have Mrs. Henderson’s class because she’s funny, Mr. Mason’s tests are hard, etc. This is how people successfully meet people. When you strike up conversations with guys, you’ve successfully shown that you have social skills & that you’re not put off by them. This is what guys want & guys want dates with women like that.

Here’s a Bonus Look into the Mind of Men: Most or all of your heterosexual male friends see you sexually. Most or all. Nothing less. Even that one friend that you’re thinking there’s no way in the world he sees you sexually… Yes, him… Especially him.

Datboi65 · Answer

On the other opposite end of the spectrum, I have also seen girls post here about why guys are not picking up clues that a girl likes them.

All this falls down to is communication. Tell someone that you don't like them, and they will go away.

ManOnFire · Answer

Most guys don't think that. Most guys are taught that girls are just being friendly from simple interactions. It's girls who think guys like them from all kinds of tiny little moments or details with him in passing, reading too deep into things.

Lionman95 · Answer

There are some guys that have rarely contact with women so a woman that talks to them aside from work is a sign of interest to them. Other reasons could be what she´s talking with them about like does she talk with them about personal issues or intimate things.

Purpleronnie · Answer

The man I am now , only imagine they are so starved of affection / interest that they convince themselves that “ she must be into me” or perhaps it’s more wishful thinking if they are attracted to the girl. Most guys of a certain age-group are literally hormones with legs so perhaps this fogs or impairs judgement or rationality 😂

teamvic · Answer

Hmmm if I had to guess, it's probably because most the times it's the guy who has to do the approaching when they like someone so sometimes some may think," oh she came up to me, and she's being friendly, that can only mean one thing🤔"

Some aren't good at reading intentions either so they can get confused

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Because women are unbelievably dismissive and contemptuous toward guys they aren't interested in. Unbelievably so, to the point that it's actually stunning how rude and abrasive so many women are.

It's also interesting how few women seem to recognize how other women treat men.

Keyboardkat · Answer

I think it's more that the guy hopes she likes him if she talks to him. But something I think girls forget: All guys are not the same. We're just people, just like you. Not all guys always make this assumption.

Anonymous · Answer

Because you women are impossible to read. Here's the thing. Men are straight forward when they show interest in a woman. Women are the exact opposite, so men are left to try to guess what the hell your intentions are. As a result, half of women complain that men think they are interested any time they are friendly to a man, and the other half complain that men "can't take a hint" that they are interested.

This is a woman problem, not a men problem.

AviatorTom · Answer

Girls generally like talking with other girls, sharing their long stories and gossips. When a girl talks with a guy, the guy is usually going to assume that she likes him. Why else would she be talking with him and not her girl friends?

Pinkflowers400 · Answer

You either coming off overly friendly that they’re interpreting as flirting. Or you’re encountering some men that lack female attention. So any interaction with a woman is viewed as flirtatious.

paledreams · Answer

Let's face it equally 30s asker lady: every guy (like every woman) depending on who's talking, who doesn't want to imagine "that hot person is into me" lol 😆

Crazyced · Answer

Because men often get blamed for missing 'obvious' cues from women. And for a lot of women, the act of walking up to a guy and striking a convo would be a VERY obvious one.

82lynx · Answer

I never assume that. Even if I were to see obvious signs I would have to assume it was a trick. Been there, got that, don’t want to go through it again.

spartan55 · Answer

Why do girls assume a guy likes them if he looks at her?

genericname85 · Answer

well think of it like this. if "just talking to him" makes him think you love him, how well do you think have the other girls been treating that guy?

rosemilk · Answer

i gotta say, girls assume that about guys too

rienna888 · Answer

You can literally sit outside the store they work at and they’ll assume you like them lmao

dudegreat91 · Answer

These guys are desperate for female attention. 1st girl who gives them any attention becomes their soulmate

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Maybe they don't know the difference because they don't get hit on as often.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why girls assume a guy likes them when he talks to them

LiamJHayden · Answer

I assume she doesn't loathe me, but not that she's into me.

Pohjolan · Answer

Some women think that behaving like other women normally behave counts as expressing interest so some men find out which case it is thus validating the presumptions of the aforementioned women.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Why else would you be talking to a guy? What do you want from him?

Anonymous · Answer

Because women rarely talk to men they aren't interested in.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Some do, I don't. At 71, lots of ladies have spoken to me and I didn't presume them to want me as a boyfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

Some people are delusional, especially the one aren’t good looking, who barely talk to people.

nawtee_me · Answer

Because we usually don’t talk to people we don’t like….

lorenzomichael · Answer

Because there stupid that’s why. Leave the young ones alone.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Women don't approach men they're not interested in.

Anonymous · Answer

Because most guys are invisible to most girls

Taylor22424 · Answer

Better question is,  Why do girls think ALL guys want them?

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Because girls rarely talk to guys they don’t like.

BadApple69 · Answer

It’s more of a hope then an assumption.

Jrg98 · Answer

Because they are horny and desperate

jahaims · Answer

They get little female attention

dustybiker2 · Answer

Desperation.

Anonymous · Answer

Is it me or is the poster flirting with me?

scott04sa22 · Answer

I ignored them

Why do guys assume a girl likes them when she talks to them?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do guys assume a girl likes them when she talks to them?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.