Why do I have the urge to text a man whos ghosted me a few times?

[Anonymous]

This guy was only a casual friends with benefits we only connected 3 X. He had a habit of ghosting, finding another, then when that failed he would contact me. Thos happened 2 X. I was upset this last time, because I hadn't heard from him in 2 months, he said he would help me move, he talked about how fun last time was. Then again, he ghosted after we had been texting a few days after! Why even contacg meaning if you had no intention of seeing me!

The hookups were average, nothing hot and wild. I have no idea why I have an urge to reach out. Last time I've seen him was Feb '25. He texted in April..

[spartan55]

Because you have zero respect for yourself and he knows. He probably started texting you again with the intention of hooking up then something better came along. You are allowing yourself to be treated with disrespect continuously, and it started the minute you agreed to friends with benefits.

[In_Trance]

Because you're bored and you have nothing else going on

[Asker]

Exactly 👍 💯 😅🤣😂

[Anonymous]

We accept the love we think we deserve. Maybe you’re at a point in your life where you either don’t think you deserve better or never experienced a really good man/relationship so toxicity is normal for you.

[Asker]

Thank you. Im lonley..

[Opinion Owner]

I would really suggest you find a more productive way of handling that which doesn’t involve a man. Casual sex may be fine at first but at some point you’ll feel used and maybe even discarded, neither of those negative emotions benefit you. Like when you leave his bed or when he’s gone awol, you’re faced with loneliness again. Your dignity just isn’t worth going back to the same dude who keeps letting you down. It’s bad on your mental and self esteem.

[Asker]

I agree 💯 thanks. I wasn't upset at first, this last time it triggered me.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe it’s upsetting because your mentality the second time around wasn’t what it was the first time. Women are emotional creatures, and for as much as we wish we could act like men, we can’t just share our bodies time and time again without developing feelings. Meanwhile there’s too many men that will not care much about who they’re having sex with as long as they’re getting it.

The man you’re dealing with sounds like someone who enjoys having freedom to date or sleep with whoever he wants. He comes back because you have accommodated this in the past, and a man like this is toxic once you start falling for him, since he won’t ever reciprocate a serious relationship. You’re better off without him.

[Asker]

I know. I was confused why he even reach he'd out 2.5 months later, i wasn't even thinking about him. We texted for a bit, he even offered to help me move as I had asked months prior.. I was upset, because days later I messaged him and he went Ghost. What the heck was the point of even reacung out 2 months later if he had no intention of seeing me again. What was the point, he should of just never contacted me again.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree, it’s annoying for him to come back if he didn’t intend on staying but at the same time you already know that this is his pattern. You said yourself he has a habit of leaving to find another and coming back so this isn’t unusual. He didn’t have to go so far as offering to help you move, talking about how much fun you had and all that but it was probably his way of testing the waters, trying to create some comfortability to see how accepting you’d be of him coming back. Your mistake is making it easy, or for being disrespected but reaching out to him. You take the work out, the thrill out, you’re too easily obtained so he’s not going to “try”. Like in his mind he probably thinks that despite standing you up about the move, despite going ghost, if he were to come back you’d most likely accept him. I hope you change that, prove him wrong.

[Asker]

Thanks for your responses. No, I will not entertain this person. I never saw a future with him, he was a distraction for boredom/loneliness. I know I deserve better. I even called him out during pillow talk of being an Avoidant and he agreed. I know my worth. Don't want to make it easy to be in my company.

[Opinion Owner]

No problem hun, good to hear that you won’t entertain him anymore because it’s just such a waste of your time. You know your worth, now don’t let him forget it.

[Alex-Snow]

I would not do it. He ghosted you... time to move on and as you said the sex was not that great.

[MasterKS]

Ghosting addiction. LOL! why a mature lady hangs in ordinary hookups?

[Asker]

Because being vulnerable in a real relationship is scary!!

[MasterKS]

@asker agree casual is best for that.

[Anonymous]

You were just a thing of the moment. To satisfy his sexual cravings.

[anmari2001]

Toxiccccccc

[Sam1133]

Feel free to pm me