Why is a guy keep texting me everyday for 3 months and ghosted me?

[ariee94]

i met a guy on online dating app and we've been texting each other everyday for almost 3 months. He knew that i am really into him and i wasn't sure if he had the same feeling for me because sometimes he being a bit cold to me. But when i told him that, he will always apologize for his actions and be nice to me again. But most of the time, he always be a very nice guy and always make me feel appreciated. One day i asked him if he is still wants to be with me and if not, i'm understand that if the train wasn't stop at my station then it's not my train. Then he said he's my train and want to be with me.

Everything was normal, we texted a lot, have jokes etc. and suddenly he disappeared for two days. When he came back, i asked him, where did he go and he said he was sick and doesn't has internet connection. I knew that he wasn't tell me the truth but i didn't ask more. I just said that i'm sorry that i didn't know he was sick and i'm sorry i cannot be there with him when he wasn't feeling well. We texted a lot that day and i asked him what would he do if he lost my number since WhatsApp is the only way for us to keep connected with each other just to see his effort. But there was not much effort from him, he just said that he will try his best to find me but didn't even say how, i hoped he would ask for my IG or email address but he just didn't. On the next day... he just ghosted me again and didn't even turn on his wifi for days now.
Why do you guys give us hope and then just leaves us?

I really miss to be in a relationship, I really miss to ask about his days, to support him when he sad, to listen to his problems, to be there for him.. to have someone to care about, to feel appreciated, to feel loved. i really miss all those beautiful feelings; to love and be loved. Please pray for me to be given the right man for me who we will never stop loving each other and always try our best for each other.
p/s I'm sorry if there are lots of grammatical error

[Anonymous]

Im sorry but i really dont like this obession people have with 'ghosting' i think the whole thing is total bullshit.

He disappeared for 2 days with no internet connection and you claim that you know that isn't true, to me what that means is that some bullshit app told you he was online and you believed the app.

Well Im sorry but apps are total garbage and routinely give false status information so if thats the basis of your 'knowledge that he was lying' then you are simply being ridiculous.

You wisely and correctly identify that its not good to only have that one method of communication because if it fails then you are screwed youve just lost each other but instead of telling him your email address so that he has it, you instead choose to just feel sad that he didn't ask, it might sound stupid but it may not have occured to him for whatever reason it actually doesn't matter, the key factor is that you knew how to solve that problem, you wanted to solve the problem and you didn't, thats your mistake not his. Now if you want to say that he is an idiot or something, fine, but you dont get to complain about communication problems when you make choices to withhold solutions to problems.

Now you are saying that he is ghosting you completely and treating this whole thing as being over and are taking advice from people telling you to just move on when its well within the realm of possibility that he doesn't have a fucking internet connection and is missing you as much as you miss him.

This whole thing is absolutely ridiculous and this is what people are like now it seems.

Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups, you dont know anything and are choosing to assume the worst, thats the whole story here.

The last time you spoke was only a few days ago and you were in contact 'a lot' and since that time the app, which can't be trusted thats true but it is telling you that he is offline.

So the most reasonable explanation is that he doesn't have an internet connection.

Now maybe he has decided he does want to continue being with you and doesn't have the bottle to tell you that, maybe he met someone else, those things are possible but they actually dont fit at all with the description of the situation.

For you to be shit canning this whole thing already based on no information at all is absurd.

This ghosting meme really makes me angry, its so fucking dumb, childish and egotistical and it is destroying relationships.

[ariee94]

Thank you @guffrus no, i just felt it. that's why i didn't ask him more other than apologize to him and told him that i didn't know he was sick. i just don't like to accuse him for something i'm not sure. i just felt it because he didn't say anything to me the reason of why he dissappeared for two days until i asked him. i didn't give him my email for him to contact me because there was no effort from him. it makes me realize that he doesn't has the same feeling like i do because if we love someone, we'll do anything not to lose them right. no matter how much i like him but if there's no effort from his side, i think i should know my worth there.

[Eric027]

I feel he found another interesting and maybe his main girl caught him and he wanted to clean his track or cover up he stopped talking or texting... don't bother just let everything slide you will definitely find another who would stick to u

[ariee94]

@Eric027.. i'm really emotionally sad to hear this, but thank you for your support, i really do appreciate it.

[Eric027]

@ariee94 you just have to move on , though I know what it felt like.. I have actually been on that train but I wouldn't want anyone to go there anymore

[ariee94]

@Eric027 it's not easy but i have to. Maybe it's good for this train to keep on its journey so that the right one can stop at my station. Thank you @Eric027.

[Miamia90]

I feel you with the ghosting... honestly I don't get them. But in your case it's easier to see some signs.. Like, you don't even know this guy. You didn't meet in person. Did you? If you two met on a dating app, chances are, he was talking with other girls at the same time. Just so he is never bored and for his ego to feel that he is a "man" until one of them meet him in person and finally finds what he wants.
If something is meant to be, it will happen. This guy , you never know how it would have been in person. It's not worth it

[ariee94]

Thank you @Miamia90e, It hurts so much. Yes i saw some red flags in him, but i always deny it as i was really emotionally attached to him. Maybe that was my mistake. But we women always do that when we have feelings for someone and hope that they would change, right. No, i didn't meet him in person, but we always send videos and pictures of ourselves to each other. i really miss those moments of us so much. If we have misunderstanding, we were always talk about it without any fights and always apologize to each other. The most sad thing is, he always convince me that he wants to be with me and see the future of us being together and suddenly just ghosted me.

[Miamia90]

If there is no face to face connection and interaction, then you can't count on it.. it might have been completely different If you two actually met. Don't waste you emotions and psychology for a guy you never met. I know how you feel. But you have your whole life in front of you. Go out , meet real guys where you can actually see from the first moment if they really like you, not from a dating app where one can swipe right or left just for your looks and to increase his chances of sleeping with a girl.

[ariee94]

@Miamia90 Yes you are right about it. Please pray for me to be given someone who can sincerely love and appreciates me :)

[Clyde_123]

I feel you. I know ghosting hurts because I experience it too. I know that you really like him and wants him to appreciate you and you are waiting for him to put more effort in your relationship, but I think you should move on. there's no certainty to this guy. You will just left heartbroken.

[ariee94]

Thank you @Clyde_123 for your support and understanding. Yeah i did try my best to always find new things to do together to make things to always be fun. always be there for him to support him even just through text (maybe it's not enough for him right) He was always make me feel loved and appreciated by always saying good things and thank you to me for what i did to him just he didn't put any effort to do the same. I'm always the "giver" and he always the "taker". But i never complaint anything, i know it shouldn't be like that, just i hoped i can win his heart. i just hope one day there will be the right person for me. i'm not afraid to be alone, i just miss all those beautiful feelings i have when in a relationship.. so much.

[Clyde_123]

I think you should forget about him now. He ghosted you once he will do it again. He will get in touch with you whenever he wants and thats not good. Move on from this guy. This guy doesn't appreciate you and he doesn't know your real worth. You deserve someone who is certain about you and will never ghost you. Girl there's better guys out there who will never take you for granted. I know it is painful for now but you will accept it later soon.

[ariee94]

I have to even i don't want to. Thank you @Clyde_123 for your kind words and support which i do really need it now.

[Avicenna]

That's not unusual and could have multiple explanatiions. I know it hurts to experience it, but you didn't do anything wrong.

[ariee94]

Thank you @Avicenna for your support. he always say he is happy with me and our last conversation was also great. we were easy apologize to each other. And this just breaks my heart so much.

[Avicenna]

Its tough. Time heals though.

[ariee94]

Thank you so much @Avicenna

[Avicenna]

You're welcome

[ArnoldClark]

He was playing you. Can guarantee you weren't the only person he was chatting with and when one of his hareem offered him sex, he went to them.

[ariee94]

Thank you @ArnoldClark. He always reply my text really fast and respect me. I don't think he was looking for sex because he never talk about it. We did flirt a bit sometimes but never go too deep. Why would he puts his effort for months of keep texting me everyday if he just want to play with my feelings?

[ArnoldClark]

Sadly because that's what guys do. Our brains don't all work the same and certainly not in the interests of females.

[ariee94]

@ArnoldClark Thank you for telling me this. I learned a lot from it. At least i still have my worth by not keep chasing him even though i still have a very strong feeling for him. I was too busy to make him happy until i forgot that i need his effort to keep me:(

[Roberto5643]

Sounds like he has no life

[ariee94]

@roberto5643 thank you. maybe he just like the way i treated him but doesn't really has feeling for me which at the end just left me heart broken