Guys, How likely are you to completely forget a woman you spent hours with... to the point that you chase her again?

[DishLady]

A guy I was starting to see (~a year ago) starts reconnecting this past week. Things have been very odd over the past year (too long to write out) and something now seems to be shifting. I don't know what it is, however now people know him a little and sense something about him "is off" and yet every girl I know tries to take her shot at him.

He's a very "catch and release" sort of guy. With me, though, he keeps trying to stay in the periphery. I *presumed* it was bc he likes me, however last week we passed one of the spots we hit up on our first date and he looked at it blankly like he couldn't remember it... In fact, he flatly asked, "*I* have been in this place before? We were alone together? Were we in a group?"

Complete lack of recollection. I can't tell if he's faking it or if he's got a mental glitch. Personally I wouldn't be able to spend an entire day with someone and not remember it.

I feel like it's "selective memory" or gaslighting... that I should back away from this guy bc I don't think asking him about it will help at all. He'll just fall deeper into whatever mental game or rabbit hole this is.

Before you tell me he's on the spectrum... I don't think he is. He recalls too many other details about our interactions. He shifts them to make sense in the present. I've watched him change his story several times depending on who he's talking to.

[Spencer10]

Well thats a bit different. All I can add is for me I tend to have a very good memory for the women who inhabit my life. Things like dates I would generally remember. Some better than others depending on how good... or bad they where.

[MannMitAntworten]

Memory … have others noticed something off about his memory as of late?

[DishLady]

Everybody sees there’s something off.

[MannMitAntworten]

Probably because there is. Not in the context of gaslighting or whatever. Reading that gave me a distinct sense there is something cognitive that should be examined. He sounded confused in his memory…

[OlderAndWiser]

Trust your instincts. SOMETHING isn't right and you don't need to stay around him until you solve the riddle. Just let him go.

[spartan55]

Smh... is it worth it?

[DishLady]

No. I’ve told him I think he’s an alcoholic.

[spartan55]

Really... interesting development. He acts erratic enough.

[DishLady]

Legit… I just pray for him to figure himself out. Whatever is wrong with him is no little thing. I happened to “grab the cat’s tail” in terms of noting his issue. He has to choose to reform or not. There’s nothing I can do but turn him towards the right direction.

[spartan55]

How did you come to this conclusion?

[Tom567456]

Sounds like he's playing games. I have no patience with that kind of bullsh*t.

[Staximus]

I'm not

[Staximus]

I might forget about going somewhere I've been before, but it would be something like I forgot I went through the drive through at a fast food place s could weeks ago

[Staximus]

A couple weeks ago

[Staximus]

If I were you, I would stay away from that shifty bastard

[DishLady]

Yeah. I've forgotten a place before (perhaps bc they changed the decoration or something), or I'll forget the name of the place and remember the location... but I'v never forgotten spending time with someone I repeatedly went back to. I felt that was very odd.

[Staximus]

It sounds like the guy is either a shady liar, on drugs, or has mental problems

[DishLady]

If it’s a mental prob I feel bad.

I’m thinking drugs/alcohol or just shady.

[Staximus]

I forgot about being drunk. That makes everybody figure

[Staximus]

Forget