Sos? Can someone explain this man-logic to me?

[Stacia_1]

He blocked me.

And honestly? I’m confused. No!! Beliewerd!

So here’s the backstory.

Met this guy in person, great energy, definite mutual attraction. We hit it off, talked a lot over Instagram, and met up a few times when our hectic work lives allowed. I was starting to catch real feelings. Smitten, if you will. But despite the chemistry, we never moved beyond the "talking stage" mostly because I was getting some off vibes from him. Inconsistent, avoidant, emotionally mysterious and so on.

Then one day, I made a harmless little joke about him, nothing mean, just a playful comment and he got offended. Totally not my intention, but after that? He just stopped talking to me. Full-on ghosted.

I tried reaching out to clear the air but left on read. Classic. After that, every time he saw me in person, I got the cold shoulder. Months went by. Eventually, I got tired of seeing his face on my feed and quietly deleted him from Instagram.

Here’s the kicker though, HE still messaged me on my birthday.

Yep. After I deleted him. Out of nowhere poof, happy birthday message from the ghost of Instagram past. I thanked him (because I’m not rude), we exchanged a bit of small talk about absolutely nothing important, and that was that. No mention of the ghosting. No mention of the deleting. Just vibes and awkward silence. Again.

We didn’t talk after that. Zero contact. And recently, I don’t know what possessed me, but I looked him up and guess what, B L O C K E D.

Why? Why go out of your way to block someone who hasn’t messaged, stalked, or even liked anything in ages? Especially after he was the one who reached out after I deleted him?

I’ve talked to a guy friend and he said most guys don’t block girls unless there’s a reason, like they’ve got a new girlfriend (which I know he doesn’t). So, what gives?

I’d really like a guy’s perspective on this one. Why block someone who did nothing to you?

[HollyK21]

Doesn’t sound like he necessarily went out of his way to block you, the conversation you’d just had was right there most likely at the top of his DMs. It’s true, he could be seeing someone now and blocked you as a clean slate so that even if you try reaching out, you can’t. That may be what he ultimately wanted anyway, for you to be unable to contact him whether there’s a new woman in the picture or not.


Is it strange? To be honest not completely. He’d already proven to be inconsistent, emotionally mysterious, a ghoster. Blocking does not veer far from his already bad behavior. In any case, I think you’ve been hanging on to this guy far longer than you ever should’ve in the first place and it’s time to let that situation fully go. I totally understand that you’re just looking for some insight but I don’t think anything would truly suffice like an explanation from him, since otherwise you’ll never really “know why” he chose to block without a word. It’s just better not to worry about it.

[HollyK21]

Scratch the first part a bit, I misread and thought the birthday talk was relatively recent so your conversation wouldn’t have been deep in his dms. Not to say that the conversation wouldn’t have been just as accessible though if he didn’t delete it.

[Stacia_1]

I doubt our conversations were at the top of his messages, especially since we hadn’t talked in a little over four months before the birthday wishes. He probably had to scroll down and find my name. Clearly, he didn’t delete our messages, otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to contact me at all. Even if I confronted him about it, I doubt he’d give me a straight answer. And to make things worse, I’ve been seeing him almost every other day lately, which just keeps bringing everything he did back to mind.

[HollyK21]

Kind of an afterthought but I do wonder if maybe he didn’t notice you’d unfriend him when he sent you the birthday message, noticed later on and then blocked you out of annoyance, but of course it’s all speculative. Are you seeing him every other day like intentionally or because of outside circumstances like work, school, mutuals?

[Stacia_1]

Goodness, no! Why would I willingly torture myself by seeking him out? So, on my part, there’s absolutely nothing intentional going on. The thing is, I work in an office where my boss’s son happens to be his friend. And while he used to never show up, now it feels like I see him everywhere.

I’m trying not to read too much into it, but my brain insists on speculating. I mean, you blocked me. You clearly want no contact, probably don’t even want to see me… and yet, every time I turn around, there he is.

Also, I know for a fact he was aware that I had un-friended him before sending those birthday wishes.

[HollyK21]

You’d be surprised how many women do torture themselves in an effort to keep some toxic man in their lives, it’s a tale as old as time. Anyway, if you can confirm that he already knew you had unfriended him when he sent that bday message then I’ll stick with my previous speculation about him seeing a new woman and trying to have a clean slate with her, by cutting off any means of communication with you and/or any other woman he’s had a history with.

I know, it’s like why block me if we aren’t even talking or whatever, however you and him are in each others orbit since he likes to visit his friend so who knows, that could’ve been his way of preventing any mixed messages going forward.

As you can see, I’m just speculating, and of course that’s the same as you’re gonna get from anyone else. If you really want to know, you see him more than enough to confront him and ask what’s going on, clear the air and move on. If you’re too proud or just generally uninterested in doing that then it’s best to move on. Rather than speculate, work with what you do have, like knowing you’re blocked and regardless of his reasons it is simply a clear message that he doesn’t want the potential of talking ever again. I would hold him to that, pretend he doesn’t exist and live my life.

[EmmaMary]

Sorry... I fell asleep after the first paragraph. Yawn!

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[BadApple69]

First off I would never block a girl that I thought liked me and that I liked.
You seem very sure there is no new girlfriend but maybe an old one? From what you said I feel there is possibly someone else in his life.
Now a question for you… what was the little harmless joke you said to him that brought this to an end. That will have the answer to why he ghosted you.

[Stacia_1]

I called him a man-child in a light, teasing way. I had no idea he would take offense to that comment, especially since he likes to tease as well. But I believe he got offended because I made the remark in front of others.

[BadApple69]

Yea, you damaged his fragile ego. That’s men’s weak spot. Never belittle a guy in front of others. We can fight dragons but not handle a joke (at our expense) in front of others.

[bowenw]

It makes no sense other than he really is a man-child and he has never gotten over you pointing that out, even though you were joking at the time.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[seeyounexttuesday]

Maybe he got a new girl and blocked all other girls out of his life.

[spartan55]

Ah the talking stage strikes again.