Why do men have higher boundaries for certain women?

[Anonymous]

By distance I mean mostly physical distance. They don't shake hands with them, sit beside them nor even stand beside them. The conversations are usually extremely formal. I have a friend and if random men ask us directions or something, it's never her they talk to. Yesterday I noticed that the very chatty guy from the class had to sit beside her but he kept one empty seat between them. She's nice. So I'm very curious, why is it like this?

[Anonymous]

Common sense.

I remember when I helped head a... well I'll just call it a youth group because I don't want to go into the distinction. But anyways it was co-ed event and it was over night. Well a friend of mine was charged with speaking to both genders and letting them know to stay in thier own ends of the hotel etc. Now he gave the stern talk to all the boys first. Then he went and gave the stern talk to all the girls. Afterwards he was admonished by one of the women staff members that he couldn't talk that way to the girls, because they were girls and he needed to use a lighter touch. I would've shrugged it off because the important things was everyone's safety, not feelings. But it bothered my friend being told that.

Point is MOST men know there is what is acceptable and what women deem is acceptable.😆 and what women deem is acceptable is an ever moving line highly dependent on her feelings and mood. So rather then potentially step on or over the line the guy exercises caution. Now the problem being is sometimes she WANTS you to step over the line. But what a guy learns with his many interactions with women is that thier are low quality women and good quality women. The better the quality of woman the more stable that line is.

So the guy that doesn't cross that line is a guy with respect. And if she has a problem with it it is very telling about which quality woman she is.

Hope that helps.👍

[Asker]

I understand but that wasn't my query. I mean see I have seen men who are very chatty with all girls in the class, sitting beside them, holding their hands etc etc avoiding some particular girls like this friend of mine. You can see a difference in the behavior. Most men are formal around them and not even look them in the eyes while they're normal around other women. I noticed this recently. So I was curious why some women are treated with more boundaries than others.

[Opinion Owner]

No I answered it, you just missed it. Women are not cookie cutter (nor are men for that matter). Some women offer up the sea bass to every sailor they meet and some are as cold as ice. And there are a lot in between.
In short it's your set of values at work and his set of values at work and thier reaction to eachothers.
To make matters worse women don't give much away verbally unless they want to and the ones that do it's usually done manipulatively. So a man with any experience with a woman is acutely aware of it. A man has to be wary of a woman that reacts to fast to hum as well as respectful of a good woman's boundaries. Because the woman does not always tell you which she is. The guys who do not mind a woman's boundaries simply does not care about her boundaries. Every guy knows how to manipulate a woman a good man doesn't want to.

[Anonymous]

It could be a lot of things. One thing I’ve noticed though that has changed, men really aren’t pursuing women. But I can understand why. This may also be the reason why you see men acting that way. Men these days don’t want to get accused of something. End up on social media being blasted about what a creep she thinks he is for saying hi or asking her out. A lot of women tend to think of a man even looks at them he was checking her out or he’s a creep. What person wants that? I’m sure if that happened to women they wouldn’t want that either. Women have made numerous videos telling men we don’t need you, stop approaching us, we can do it ourselves, etc, etc. Now men are actually listening and women don’t like it. There’s only about 3 people at work who are female who I will have a conversation w alone or in private or just hang out w at work. The rest, no way it’s not a risk I w at to take.

[Plugs]

respect , fear , unattractiveness , one amongst the 3

[Asker]

I guess so

[Anonymous]

Most younger men have been exposed to the idea that women don't want to be approached or bothered in certain settings.

[Jenny212005]

Some do but some don't