Why do most guy friends end up liking or falling in love with a female friend?

[Anonymous]

I can never make guy friends that will end up falling in love or liking me. My guy friend I’ve known for years my friends keep telling me he’s in love with me and always gives me a sly look when they talk to me about him. My best friend said, “Girl wake up! He obviously likes you! He’s better than those jerks that you’ve dated that won’t give you the time of day. You’re a very lucky girl.”
A guy I was good friends with for two years ended the friendship with me because he admitted that he likes me and asked me out but I told him I don’t feel the same way but we can be friends. He was so hurt and said, “I don’t think so. I really like you and for us to be friends and looking at you will be very painful. It’s best if we ended the friendship. And that was it. I was hurt because were great friends. Guys blunt question, why do you do this and bitch about the friendzone?

[Anonymous]

Someone i love deeply Danielle had this happen to her recently. She keeps telling those weirdos it's... not tinder but they don't listen. The problem i have is they genuinely don't know much about her other than the superficial crap. Listen last week she posted a story and it asked a bunch of questions her favorite color her likes and dislikes her favorite foods favorite shows etc etc and i was able to sit there and answer every single question and more but honestly that's not all and I'll be honest several months ago (and even right now) i thought about what it would be like when the both of us are in our 80s and i would still love her even when her looks are all gone and faded i would still love her the same. When i looked into her eyes the past couple of days it was breathtaking it was dreamy like wow type dreamy i mean yes she's sexy as hell and yes she has a hot ass and hot abs and torso and beautiful breasts and gorgeous hair (even if it isn't real but she styles it 🔥) but her eyes though 😍 ♥️ absolutely dreamy like wow anyways the point I'm trying to make is if you can see past a person's looks and see her inner beauty even though sometimes she doesn't show it and shows the exact opposite but when she does show her inner beauty and good qualities it's breathtaking and totally 🔥 her best qualities she's a great mom she gives to others the less fortunate especially around the holidays she's a great cook the thing is she's gorgeous absolutely gorgeous and she knows it and she knows men will flock around her constantly and most will expect one thing and I've repeatedly told her billions of times that when i do something for her i don't expect anything in return but even then sometimes it seems like she has selective listening which kind of irritated me because i was actually kind of hurt when she falsely accused me of things but i let it go and just reminded her i don't expect anything when i help her. See the thing is im in love with her deeply in love with her but no i can't love unconditionally no one can only God can then she got mad falsely saying i lied about loving her unconditionally and i told her no i never said i love you unconditionally what i said was i truly deeply love you with all my heart and soul i can't love unconditionally nobody can only God can love unconditionally

Anyways she kept telling me she's not the one she doesn't see a future with me she doesn't know how to love etc etc and every time it hurt it hurt a lot because i actually do love her with all my heart and sometimes i do think about when we're both in our 80s old and gray sitting in a rocking chair on a porch her kids all grown up with kids of their own she's smiling reflecting back

[ohsheeT]

There becomes a moment in time when a guy has to be honest with himself. Just about every girl I know we become friends and you start to get feelings and she does the same.

The friend ship becomes stronger and for me i start thinking I want to get laid she hot bla bla bla... and this is where most guys take the wrong path

For me I have to be really honest I dont like it sometimes but it's for the best. In one hand damn she is beautiful and hot and I want to get laid and she likes me to

In the other hand she has become a really good friend

And I have to ask my self if I date her would it go the distance and I know down deep it might last 6 months to a year. And then we would break up and I loose a really good friend.

So what's more important to me getting laid for awhile break up and never see each other again

Or be her friend until we are not but that friendship bond is hard to break.

So I take the high road and remain very good friends.

And it's always for the best.

And if guys were 100 % honest with themselves most friendships need to remain that way. But most guy are selfish they can't be honest and they mess up a good thing

[HollyK21]

I’ve gotten to an age where I’ve realized that opposite sex friends hardly ever stay platonic from start to finish unless it’s under certain conditions.


For example, one/both are part of the LGBTQ+ community. One doesn’t find the other even conventionally attractive or/and vice versa. Or one/both already are dealing with someone else romantically whether it’s an official relationship or just a talking stage. Another example is if they live far apart (probably met online somehow) and an LDR just isn’t what one or both are interested in maintaining.


Unless one of these conditions (or something along any of these lines) are in place then I feel like it’s inevitable for someone not to catch feelings. I mean why not? This is someone you talk to regularly, hang out with, have a lot in common with, probably have introduced to your other friends/family. When you think about it, all of these are boxes that you’d want checked off in a partner.


I’ve noticed that men don’t usually invest their time in a woman for the sake of simple friendship. It’s one thing if this is some guy you work or go to school with and create a friendly dynamic. That’s a casual connection and requires no effort on their part. But to be texting or calling every day, asking to hang out or send pics, things like that start moving the relationship out of a simple platonic dynamic and more into romantic interest.

[KishasDarling]

Very insightful, nice comment!

[FreyaRed]

People can't control their emotions over longer time span and when you break their heart intentionally or not they will go. When you take a look at such friendship from their perspective it's logical they go when you don't feel the same for them. They can't go back and act as nothing hasn't happen. It's even more tragic when you both were friends since age before sexual attraction was a topic.
A little bit empathy is helpful in such situations.

[Purpleronnie]

I think it’s natural when friendship
Feelings cross a boundary into becoming romantic feelings and it happens both ways not just guys to girls.


In many ways I beleive that couples should be friends first before anything else but libido , hormones , and sexual chemistry etc often get in the way and we find ourselves trying to be friends with someone after we do the deed and then feel all hurt and broken if it doesn’t work out.


I’ve said it many times on here and I will say it again now , just because your attracted to someone , doesn’t mean your compatible or they they aren’t a shitty human.


You probably friendzoned this guy the moment you saw him , because if you were sexually attracted to him you’d probably be in a relationship already.


The mistake he made was not realizing that sooner.


Straight guys don’t make friends with girls for platonic reasons majoritively speaking , guys purporting to do this are just playing the long game to get into your pants trying to prove themselves worth in the process.

[Keyboardkat]

Not something guys do on purpose. We guys are programmed, since we lived in caves, to find the sights and sounds of women physically attractive, exciting, and alluring If we spend a lot of time with a woman we are attracted to, that attraction is likely to grow, especially if she won't give us the time of day. It is very difficult for a guy to remain platonic friends with a woman he really likes (unless she's his sister, or unless he grew up with her and doesn't see her as a romantic possibility). If the guy falls in love with her, he will bitch about the friend zone because he CAN'T remain just her friend. It hurts too much. It would hurt him to see her date someone else and fall for someone else when he really desperately wants to be the one in that position. It's better for him to leave the relationship before it gets to that point.

[godfatherfan]

Women need to stop thinking they have male friends. You have males that are friendly. Men and woman ARE NOT FRIENDS... period.
The guy, at the very least, will always have thought about sex with the woman a million times in the first day. He may not act on it, but he thought about it. That isn't what friends do. So as long as the woman is cool with that, then they can look like friends, but they will never be actual friends. Men and Women are too different to be real friends and not be in a relationship.

[Curiousbenjamin90]

Men like being seen, heard, and cared about by their partners. Best girl friends also provide a safe place for a lot of guys that we don’t necessarily have with “the boys”. This is enough for some men to blur the lines between friendship and something more. If he’s also physically attracted to you, it’s almost inevitable that they’ll want more at some point. Once he’s made himself vulnerable and laid that out, he has to be VERY secure/confident to be fine being just friends after being rejected, and it will still take time. Coming from someone who fell for his best friend from middle/high school.

[RavVid]

I'd say you find out so much in the course of friendship with a girl, you mostly lose any interest.

Last night a female friend asked if we could have a relationship. I know her well enough to know she would be completely unsatisfactory. No way am I taking that up.

A lot of guys try to slid into a girl's panties by being a "friend" and as yet don't know her well enough to have lost all interest.

There is a sweet spot where there is still sexual desire together with innocence where the guy likes & falls in love with a female friend.

[Someone34]

I got friendzoned once, after that I didn't want to be friends anymore, thats how the vast majority of guys work that get friendzoned. And a lot of guys gets friendzoned at one point in life.

Most guys dont "stick around" in the friendzone. You ask as soon as you can if she feels the same and if she dosent he moves on.

Why guys always end up liking their female friends has to do with biology, men are programmed to mate with like 85 % of girls. This means there are a lot of friendzones waiting to happen, cause obviously not every girl will sleep with every man she developes a friendship with.

[McLlovin]

Because being truly just friends with the opposite gender is not real friendship. Subconsciously you want each other.

1. You either saving them for when you run out of options.

2. In denial

3. Secretly playing the long game

4. You actually are true friends but its actually a step to marriage.

this is reality im sorry I've lived it i have actually tried. Someone will catch feelings. Its just a matter of when. How long is it going to take before someone wants to shoot their shot.

[Anonymous]

Men aren’t in the friend zone w women because we really want to be friends. They’re in it because they’re hoping one day they’ll get a crack at you. Meaning they will either get in your pants or end up on a relationship w you. The only dudes who would most likely be your “friend” are gay men. There are some people who we just become friends w who are female. But not by choice in the beginning, but because they turned out to be a good person. A lot of men try to befriend women who are cute, hot, pretty.

[msc545]

Well, speaking as a man, I can tell you that when you have a female friend, it's a really valuable relationship. As you get to know her over time, you begin to realize that she probably is not going to try to rip your head off and hopefully will never cheat on you and things like that. If you can become her lover and boyfriend as well, then that seems to work great for both people.

I think the trick is moving from friend to lover and boyfriend, which isn't always easy, particularly if she thinks of you as a friend. You're probably still in the friend zone and will be for a long time. But give it a try; it might be worth it to you.

[Rei13]

Honestly he did the right thing by ending the friendship. It is easy for you to want to maintain a friendship with someone you don’t have those feelings for, for him on the other hand that would’ve been unhealthy.

I think sometimes people befriend the people they like in the hopes it will end up being a different dynamic or just the feelings develop over time, either way probably shouldn’t maintain a friendship with someone when the feelings aren’t equal

[Finchie40]

Because most guys’ will not be close friends’ with a girl unless he wants more than friendship with her. Most guys’ only become close friends’ with her so he can have a chance at her. A true guy friend will not invest a lot of his time into her , so if you have a guy friend that is investing a lot of his time into you , he clearly wants to bang you

[Zack-Bann]

It’s human nature and it goes both ways


The better question is why do you insist on having guy friends?


You know the outcome.
There’s no point in thinking “this time it’s different”
It never is.


And everyone thinks they found the unicorn in a world full of zebras.
They never do.

[genericname85]

i don't have that perception. yeah that happens but more often than not you're friends with a girl cause she's not attractive enough to you to be your partner. that's my male perspective. yeah when you're friends with a hot girl chances are high you'll fall for her eventually. but men don't find everyy girl hot xD

[snermcger]

Men value trust and dependability. People that display those characteristics we tend to befriend, male or female.

A woman who is attractive, trustworthy and dependable?

What is there not to fall in love with?

It only makes sense.

[guesswhereivebeen]

Because it seems like a good idea if we get along… why not add sex… I was just in a relationship ship with a girl I’d been in the friend zone with for 20 years almost… I’d been spending holidays with her family for the last 15 years probably… it was her idea.. I gave up wanting to fuck get years sho

[Mayorofbobaville]

A man and woman can't be friends. most dude catch feelings cause when you vibe with a woman, spend time, and get close, that emotional bond turns into romantic or sexual attraction sooner or later. It’s not that men and women can’t be cool, it’s just that attraction usually creeps in even if she don’t notice it.

[aceleon]

spends that many time with a female that he likely finds attractive too and suprisingly gets along.

i wonder why?

[Bricealan]

NEVER drop a good female friend! They are not replaceable. We had great phone sex many times, as we exchanged sex experiences

[236color]

They don't "end up" that way. They started out that way.

[MJVillarama]

Happens a lot because friendship builds closeness , feelings can sneak up on people. Doesn’t mean they’re entitled to anything, though.

[PrinceAlbert57]

Because you’re yourself and not trying to impress her

[Anonymous]

Guys see romance and/or sex as all that girls are good for. Friendship with a girl is worthless except as a means to something else.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say it's most but I think they use the friendship thing to try to get more.

[Shy_Steve]

Because us Guys are more likely to be lonelier and don't get the same opportunities as most Women do.

[dudeinohio]

Thats why people in relationships shouldn't have opposite sex friends.

[LiamJHayden]

No idea. Once I classify her as "friend only" she is like a sister.

[Anonymous]

That's not true, friends are just friends.
You probably mean why they get friend-zoned by hot girls they are in love with?

[Anonymous]

As a guy I went through the exact same things many times with girls, so it's not just guys who do this.

[Twalli]

Because a lot of guys won't befriend a girl unless they find her remotely attractive.

[Layla77]

For me I think is the bond that they create together and they end up falling for each other but mostly men fall first

[Anonymous]

Because men look for passive women and women tend to be passive toward casual friends but then women show her aggression when men want to cross over the line. She can’t find her boy friend because she is aggressive after being passive

[Opinion Owner]

No one likes aggression either active or passive

[Rightonein]

I don't think most do but some definitely do

[In_Trance]

Men and women can't be friends

[Asker]

I thought we could. This fucking sucks

[MasterKS]

different gender never be best friends.