Guy said he wants to stop having sex with me like I’m are just another female and that’s It’s becoming degrading the more we do?

[Anonymous]

Right now we’re basically friends with benefits and I’m okay with it. We’ve know each other for 10 years, dated the first four and it didn’t work out. We agreed a long time ago that a relationship isn’t right for us. When we sleep with each other I go my separate way afterwards to avoid catching feelings and sometimes we speaking on the phone and message as friends do. I asked if he wanted to stop sleeping together since he feels it’s degrading but he didn’t say yes or no. So I’m really confused.

[Amy_Mi]

It sounds like he’s communicating discomfort, even if indirectly.

Friends with benefits can work only if both parties feel respected and clear about boundaries.

His comment about feeling degraded signals that continuing sex might be affecting him emotionally.

You could gently clarify by asking something like “I hear that you feel this is becoming degrading.

Do you want to pause or stop our arrangement?” This invites an honest conversation, respects his feelings, and lets both of you decide what’s healthiest moving forward without assumptions.

[Nikki1989]

What are you confused about?

Dump him, move on.

[Shiprex]

Maybe HE's catching feelings that he reckons won't be reciprocated. It's a strategy to save heartbreak as he doesn't reckon you'd want more.

Or he could be seeking a long term relationship elsewhere and your arrangement is kind of in the way of that.

[Anonymous]

Because he doesn’t want to stop. It’s not degrading to him. Unless he said it’s. Even if he did he’s more than likely just trying to make you think he’s just not in it for the sex.

[neoneo]

Both of you are using each other for your own interests, but neither of you really knows what you want — or maybe you don’t truly want it. Men generally want to possess a woman in many ways, so he only gives you temporary satisfaction and nothing deeper. That’s why he doesn’t seem attractive to you. No man forms a bond solely through sex — if there is no emotional connection, he will eventually leave. Someone who is truly serious always looks for emotional commitment, not just temporary pleasure.

[HollyK21]

Avoid catching feelings? Girl, the feelings are already caught. You’ve just convinced yourself that it’s not there and do what you can to keep those feelings suppressed. If he were to call you right now spilling his guts saying he has feelings for you and thinks you guys should try again, are you saying you’d totally shut him down? Without a second thought? Because that’s what you would be able to do if you really felt nothing for him, and i have a hard time believing that after 10 years that’s the case. It takes a certain level of interest to even maintain a friends with benefits for so long in the first place. So I don't know, maybe this isn’t as confusing as you think it is and it’s really just two avoidant adults playing games.