Girls, what do you think is the number 1 reason guys don’t approach you?

[Finchie40]

And it’s not being shy , even though shy is up there , but the number 1 reason a guy won’t approach you? I will give the answer after a bunch of replies. Unless one of ya gets it.

Updates

6 mo

The number 1 reason why guys’ rarely ever approach a girl is because of her , disrespectful attitude , she is cold and rude if she isn’t attracted to the guy.

Updates

6 mo

Rejection is number 2 and being shy is number 3

[Noredcarpet]

Im gonna take a wild guess. I had this friend who was so beutiful and single and I would go out with her. I was more like the the girl next door, not looking for a relationship, did not want to date. I was there to be with her. Her chaperone, if you so will. I was trying to make it easier for guys to approach her, was myself, Im not shy unless Im into someone and I wasn't. So I was just my usual me. What happened is that guys would approach. We would talk, joke. I would wait for them to show signs they wanted me to do introduce her, I would do so almost instantly. I felt for them. I felt for her. I figured they were warming up, or trying to use me, with my approval, to get to her. I figured they were still too sober to dare to make contact. Or they felt weird because they had after all started chatting with me. I would try one thing after another to make it easier for these guys to get to her, but I noticed my friend was sort of cold, sending out signals she was not really there, as if she should be on tjis throne in her palace, look straight. Even I got worried I didn't read her signals right. Was she like this to tell me she was not into the guy I was talking to, for her sake? If I had trouble reading her I can imagine how hard it would be for these guys. I thought for sure that if they could pick between me or her they would be insane if they did go for her. Sometimes it would end with me realizing as the guy was asking for my number or what ever that it was me he actually wanted to be in continues contact with. I felt like a fool. My guess is that I was more available, positive, friendly and there was no way I thought my looks could be intimidating as I imagined hers could. She was simply not with us and you could not reach her, read her other than we were invisible or boring or inferior. She was not like that moving out of that atmoshere hanging out with me alone or just us girls. But she did get like that with strangers around. I think she had some defence mechanism going on as she had been born beutiful and used to some people referring to her in a way that I don't think she was comfortable. I would try to make her realize you have to help me out here, has to change how she got, she was not precisely making it easy for us. In the end I had given up on the whole idea of getting her dates. I was like, I think, the guys who already felt, knew what I didn't before. Am I on to something?

[Finchie40]

You are the closest so far , I will announce the number 1 thing shortly

[RavVid]

I think so. I can pick women who uses Ms by sight.

You might think all women use Ms as their salutation title but it is not true. Every commercial database records the salutation title for the customer and it turns out Ms is the least common. Mrs is the most common followed by Miss. Younger women think Ms is for an older divorced woman whilst Miss is appropriate for a sexy younger women.

There can be repel force field. Whilst a Ms might look good I intuitively stay away.

[Crimsyjo]

Haha interesting you state rudeness/cold as number 1. Cos if a gal acts like that then she doesn't WANT you to approach. Or if she dies it's cos she's one of those bitches who likes attention as a means of rejecting on purpose to laugh in your face.

But honestly? Normal women are not like that.

I don't know why a guy wouldn't approach me if I'm giving signals I'm into him and he likes me so if a guy doesn't I presume he is not into me. But I also probably give mixed signals sometimes. Like I might look at him a lot but then look away if he looks back because I'm afraid so maybe it looks like I'm saying "not interested"

I'd say best time for a guy to approach a girl is at the bar when ordering or passing on way to bathroom. These put you both in close proximity with a quick "exit" strategy if other person not interested. So basically you can make convo to gage interest. As the eyes looking and smiling thing is very unreliable lol

[OneViewpoint]

No ladies. At least for me, the reason I don’t approach 95% of the time is not because I’m shy. I’m anything but shy. And it’s not because I’m intimidated by your awesomeness.

It’s because there’s not much awesomeness to be intimidated by. I really suck at polite small talk and pretending to be interested in a conversation that feels like watching paint dry while you try the latest advice from that Cosmo article and proceed to shit test me or run me through a “10 most important questions” questions quiz that would be transparent to a child.

I’m generally not in the mood for your games and I have very little patience for anyone whose conversation can’t go deeper than

So where ya from?

Where do ya live?

What kind of work do you do?

What’s your sign?

Do you like to travel?

Thats why I avoid you unless I get the feeling there is some actual depth in you.

[NicsBS]

But how would you know what the conversation will be like if you haven’t even approached her?

[OneViewpoint]

@NicsBS ,

Probability, observation, and years of experience reading people for a living.

Probability - If 95% of the women I run into are NOT people I want to have a conversation with the the chances are pretty high that the one (s) standing in front of me in any given moment are also not someone I want to talk to.

Observation - I have this habit of observing people, a room, interactions. It's not a conscious thing. More like an innate behavior, part personality and part learned from my job over years. While I'm sitting there not approaching you, I'm gathering information about you. And everyone else in the room. How you enter. Where you choose to locate yourself. Who you choose interact with. How you interact with men, other women, service staff. Your clothes, hair, makeup, grooming, posture, mood, attitude, height, weight, eye contact or lack thereof, etc. I make a yes/no judgement to engage you in conversation based on limited observation.

Experience - I've observed people like this for decades. In my role as a military officer and commander interacting with my people, other foreign militaries, and foreign diplomats / government officials. In business as a C-level executive. And in social situations with a diverse range of people all over the planet. I'm far from perfect but I get people right most of the time.

So does all of the above mean I never fuck up and misread people? Absolutely not. Does it mean there is always a chance I'm misreading a given person in any given moment? Yes. But I'm OK risking that vs getting stuck in a conversation that is going absolutely nowhere with one of the 95%.

[Zack-Bann]

Your number 1 reason is wrong


Only insecure losers with fragile egos would care that a woman “acts rude”


Rudeness is a choice.


If you’re good enough you wouldn’t trigger a rude reaction

[sage2021]

I am usually very approachable and I believe it's because I smile at people.

I don't know what it is about me but even people in the check out lines at the stores start chatting with me, and I with them. It can be someone of any age or gender. I find that it's mostly young men that like starting conversations with me while in line.

🤷🏼‍♀️

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Most of the time, it’s not that they don’t want to.

It’s that they’re intimidated.

Not by looks alone, but by the way a woman carries herself confidence, calm energy, standards, the whole presence.

Guys overthink more than they admit.

They worry about being rejected,
misread, or not being “enough” in the moment.

So they stay quiet,
even when they’re interested.

[OneViewpoint]

I know that "intimidated" is a story you tell yourself and it feels good. But honestly, a lot of the time we simply aren't interested in spending our time in inane small talk that feels like watching paint dry.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

That’s fair, not every silence is intimidation.

Sometimes it really is just lack of interest or not wanting to invest energy.

But the reverse is true too.

Plenty of men do hesitate because they’re unsure how they’ll be received.

People aren’t one dimensional, different guys quiet down for different reasons.

That’s why I framed it as “most of the time,” not “always.”

Human behavior isn’t one answer fits all.

[OneViewpoint]

You are correct, some guys are shy, intimidated, or see rejection as humiliation.

But far from all of us. I’m just tired of seeing a lot of women posting stuff on YouTube, here, etc all asserting that men are afraid to approach women because we’re intimidated.

All of the guys I hang out with are not intimidated, LOL. We accept that a woman has every right to say no for a multitude of reasons without giving us an explanation. There is no huge emotional reaction to the word no. At most it’s a mild momentary aww shucks, level of disappointment and it lasts about 2-3 minutes until we take some good natured shit from our friends a get immersed back into conversation.

I’m an outlier but I constantly refuse to engage with women who hit on me largely because I just hate the typical small talk. I’ll only engage if I think a woman is really unusual and interesting.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

I get that.

Not every man reacts the same way, and your experience with your circle is valid.

My point was never that “all men” are intimidated just that the ones who are tend to be the loudest pattern women notice.

Meanwhile there are plenty like you who approach differently or don’t approach at all for reasons that have nothing to do with fear.

Both can exist at the same time.

[RandomGirl42]

I figure it kinda' might be that my hair is prolly barely brushed, I ain't got no make up on, I'm wearing rubber boots and overalls and I smell like a barn.

[MrChinaski]

Okay. This made me laugh out loud.

[Staximus]

Nothing a shower, change of clothes, and a brush can't fix. Farm girls make the best homestead\apocalypse\survival woman 😍

[Anonymous]

I don't approach girls because of these reasons:

- I'm too shy

- I prefer dominant girls who like to take initiative

- I lack self-confidence and I think I would get rejected every time

- I'm introverted and don't really know what to say

[AviatorTom]

Girls that are unapproachable do not get approached by guys.

[Flower7]

With the update, do you mean that the woman is behaving cold and rude directly toward the guy who’s interested in her or that the guy notices her behaving that way toward other guys?

[Finchie40]

This isn’t every girl but apparently girls’ are considered more rude and cold when a guy approaches her that she isn’t interested in , I know some guys’ do this as well but apparently girls’ do it more ,

[Flower7]

But isn’t that a good thing, so the guy knows not to try to get involved with her? What’s wrong with showing that she’s not interested? Isn’t that better than the guy getting himself into an embarrassing situation?

[Finchie40]

Because she doesn’t have to be disrespectful about it , when a girl approaches me that I am not attracted to , I am not rude about it whatsoever, I just politely reject her now if she did y take No for an answer then I would get rude

[Flower7]

What you’re describing seems to be the same thing as your #2 reason, which is rejection. Just that #1 is being rejected rudely and #2 is being rejected politely.

[Finchie40]

Yea I think the survey was based off of girls’ actions and behaviors

[Anonymous]

I have a resting bitch face… guys still approach me sometimes tho

[Anonymous]

Because I don't want to be approached by people I don't know for dating purposes.

[snermcger]

RBF.

Women today do not smile. When I say they don't smile, they don't smile.

Always sitting around with a face like a slapped ass.

What man wants to get to know some grumpy, frigid lookin woman?

None.

[robocop666]

No balls. Women are upfront when they like a guy. This is an invitation.

[ChooChooHaha]

RBF,
I'm poor,
He thinks I'm not into it.

Not necessarily in that order.

[ChooChooHaha]

Plus, sometimes I have to be overtly cold/ somewhat grouchy because then they mistake me having manners as being into them.

[ChooChooHaha]

But on the flipside, we can still be nice to each other.

[Subgurl]

Because I intentionally try to be unapproachable. Lol

[jazzy34]

Hell if I know and I’m tired of trying to figure it out. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[WonderingManII]

I don't approach girls because the one's I was around did not make me feel comfortable. They seemed stuck up.

[Anonymous]

I'm not outside enough for men in my age range and aren't busy doing something else to talk to me

[MJVillarama]

Probably fear of rejection—they overthink and freeze before even saying hi.

[Jessica405]

My partner is a man mountain!

[NoDecision]

Because we are ugly?

[Finchie40]

You don’t have to worry about that 😊

[NoDecision]

I'm speaking in general.

[Finchie40]

Damn I love that attitude 😊

[ETBGOLD]

Just a guy was worried to see a girl smiling with him imagine he founded in the way of moving

[HДLILБΞУ]

I think it's money..

[Flower7]

You mean because he feels like he doesn’t have enough of it?

[HДLILБΞУ]

I have enough money, I didn't have it before

[Finchie40]

Not money

[Allybear83]

Intimidation or a resting bitch face

[Gwendoline]

Im married

[Anonymous]

Me too

[Anonymous]

Queendom