If a guy opens up about his past failings does it mean anything?

[Anonymous]

I mean if a guy is vulnerable with a girl and opens up about say his previous marriage breakdown does it mean anything?

[Noredcarpet]

I was once entering a relationship with a guy who had gotten over his ex but not what she had done and I know I thought about if he was over her or not and told him maybe this was not the right time for us, that he had begin to date too soon, but he swore he was over her. I came to believe him. I always felt very loved by him the years we were a couple but it didn't work out for other reasons (years after me leaving he was still calling me the love of his life). I think some guys have noone to talk to like us women have and so maybe they can not always processe, so when they do find someone who listens and they start to talk it can be easy yourself to think wow, what is this? Is he not over her? That could be the case but it is not neccerely so plus there is a difference if ypu talk to someone and you get there is trauma behind that took place in the past relationship. Some people get them mixed up and think it is one and the same. I have too a trauma from anorher relationship but not that one so these things happen. I am over that guy long ago, but the trauma stands on it's own and is today too dealt with. The guy who opened up so much to me so early on found I was easy to talk to, he would always be like that with me abput other things he could put into words, but after I had told him you're not over your ex and wise if we don't continue this he got afraid and after that he refused to talk about her to me and insisted on us still continuing. Was it the perfect background for our new romance? No, it wasn't but hey, this is life and you have to find clarity of what ypu are looking at, what it is, and if possible, right to move on or not. Could to be he told you his boundary. I understood it and I always respected that and anything remotely reminding him of it I would not dream of doing to him. I think I got to be aware of it on a different level because he told me. There was once or twice I could tell he got frantic, the old came back but then he calmed down and knew it was nothing, only his own fear.

[Nikki1989]

Opening up about mistakes involves vulnerability. By sharing things he isn't proud of, he is essentially handing you a map of his "weak spots." He likely feels safe with you and believes you won't use that information against him or judge him harshly.

[Finchie40]

It means he doesn’t want to experience that again , once your heart is broken by someone you gave your heart to , it’s not easy to repair it and it is sometimes hard to trust and give your heart to someone else , that is interested in you , So by him opening up to you means he doesn’t want to experience what he experienced with his ex. He wants you to be more loving than his ex was to him. When my ex and I split , it wasn’t easy for me to move on to someone else , I was with my ex for a long time thinking her and I would make it until the end , but unfortunately it didn’t last , So when I meet a new girl , I pretty much lay everything out on the table for her to decide on whether she wants to be with me or not , and I will make it clear to her that I do not want to experience what I experienced with my ex ever again. So don’t look at him opening up to you as a bad thing , look at it as a good thing that he is willing to open up to you instead of keeping it bottled inside himself. , it pretty much means he likes you and wants to experience positive with you instead of negative with you

[ManOnFire]

So you are probably thinking he's telling you because you think it means he likes you. I don't know all the details to this, who he is to you, if he's a friend (or co-worker, oh God🙄) or how long you've spoken to him, but I'm going to lean 60% towards he was just telling you because he felt safe and comfortable enough with you to talk about it. Maybe he just knows he can confide you.

I have a female friend in real life who I've told more about my past and personal life than anyone else I've ever known, and I'm not attracted to her sexually or for a relationship even though she is pretty. I like her as a friend but personality-wise I would not be interested in dating her.

[Asker]

Yep he’s my coworker. I think we are both attracted to one another but conscious of the work thing, Yes we were at waster work drinks and he told me about it, said quite personal stuff like it ends cos they couldn’t have kids etc that kind of thing, I wouldn’t say we are matey or friends. We weren’t really drunk or anything, so yep I was surprised he told me as he is at work a private person.

[Asker]

**after

[ManOnFire]

Does he do anything else in particular to make you think he's attracted to you?

[Purpleronnie]

Of course it does , at the very least it shows good connection to his emotional side , honesty , and strength to lay bare that truth and It’s certainly not stereotypical for a guy to do this and so should be treated deliberately and delicately in a supportive and non judgmental way.


A guy confiding in this way ( assuming honesty of course ) is him wanting a deeper connection which he will likely want reciprocated.


It goes without saying but I will anyway that he is placing trust on you by sharing this information , the quickest way to loose a guy is the abuse of that trust or to weaponise this information against him or judge him as any less than mature and honest for sharing.


This is a strength… NOT a weakness

[ohsheeT]

It de.\nPends on how he does it because most of the time it's manipulation and feel sorry for me to get what he wants. So don't go there, don't allow him to go there because that just shows him he's got you, you won't use that little trick forever. Make him grow up. Be the amount about it if he's gonna talk to you about it in. Try to manipulate. You are play you as a fool , so be careful

[WhitneySnow]

It probably means he really likes her. But warning: some players are good at pretending to open up so the girl thinks he really likes her.

[Twodogs0525]

Yes, it does. I'm assuming it would mean the same thing as you opening up to a guy. I'm sure you wouldn't do that to just anyone.

[jazzy34]

He trusts you. Handle what he tells you with much care.

[Anonymous]

It means he's either 1. incredibly stupid 2. Hasn't learned this lesson yet. Or 3. He has learned this lesson and she has earned his trust (we'll see if it was misplaced or not).😆

In short, it CAN mean a lot. It can also mean nothing.

[Anonymous]

It's probably a good sign if he is being genuine. I wouldn't ever open up to someone like that if I didn't value them in a certain way.

[ABC1x1x]

It means he is drunk and he never plans on seeing you ever again.

[DishLady]

Yeah of course it does.

[spartan55]

It means he isn't very smart.

[queenofcardio]

He's comfortable with you

[Nemesis2k7]

It means he likes her

[In_Trance]

Nope