So this guy at work who always greeted me and spoke to me completely started ignoring me except if he gotta speak to me it will be super short?

[Diana2828]

It may be bc I haven’t really responded back like I’m interested when he talks but you known but like he used to greet me goodmorning and smile and all now he just pretends like I don’t exist I don't know my feelings are kinda hurt and I don't know if I’m overthinking or not am I?

[MrOracle]

This might be difficult to understand, but men for the most part are NOT looking to be "just friends" with women. You can be acquaintances or colleagues, and be polite and decent to each other, but you shouldn't expect to be friends.

Why is this (largely) true?

A man who is single is either looking to remain single so as to keep his life simple and peaceful and to be able to focus on whatever is going on in his life, OR he's looking for a woman, for either casual sex or for a relationship. You'll note that none of those options are "just friends", because men largely don't benefit from being "friends" with women in any way.

If a man is interested in you - for sex or a relationship - he's going to make his interest known to you, much as this guy did. With the way society is today, he usually can't be super direct, because that's how you get sexual harassment complaints, even if you didn't actually do anything wrong. So, he showed interest as much as he could. He smiled and greeted you and created situations where you could engage with him in further conversation.

The problem is, his interest wasn't returned, so after a while, he gave up and moved on. You are now just an acquaintance/colleague to him - he'll be polite but he won't engage anymore. It's possible that he's with another girl now, or just focused on trying to get with another girl, but it's also possible that he just moved on and felt he was wasting his time and energy with you, even if he has no other immediate options.

Why don't men want to be "just friends" with women? It's because in the vast majority of cases, the benefits of this "friendship" all flow to the woman at the expense of the man. Women "friends" want a man's attention, advice, sympathy, consolation (crying on his shoulder about the guy who treated you badly, when you wouldn't choose a guy who would treat you well), free labor/favors, and often even money, usually in the form of "loans" that never get paid back. It's rare that men get any real benefit other than "her company", which is NOT even close to an even value for what most men give in such friendships.

It's helpful to understand that, to every man you meet, you're going to be placed in one of three categories:

• Relationship Material (someone worthy of a relationship commitment)
• Recreational Use Only (NOT "relationship material" but attractive enough to have casual sex with and with no known major dealbreakers)
• Not Interested (someone to keep at a distance, as an acquaintance/colleague, or someone to avoid entirely)

Most women who think they're in the first category are usually in the second category, but of course there are exceptions. It's usually not difficult to tell when you're in the third category - you picked up on the signs right away.

The point is: once you realize that you're going to be put in one of these three categories by every man that you meet (none of which are "just friends"), your interactions with men will be a lot easier to understand.

[Stevepro68]

So many possibilities here yes maybe you hurt his feelings and he is avoiding you. Or his supervisor saw him and told him to leave you alone because he doesn't want harassment problems. Or he's dating someone at work they are keeping it quiet and she is jealous when she see him talking to you. Bottomline don't write a story in your mind that is negative because you really don't know.

[Diana2828]

I don't know he suddenly start avoiding me completely

[Abbycado]

Well, I wouldn’t be too, too upset. You are both there to work. As long as he isn’t being rude or impeding your job, I wouldn’t get bent out of shape about it.

[Diana2828]

Thanks true

[Reapous]

His partner either found out and gave him a stern talking to, or those were his attempts to get closer to you and once he realized it fell on deaf ears, he moved on.


Either way, don’t let it hurt your feelings. Just keep doing you, boo.

[LiamS95]

WELL i can't help if he's crazy cause you're so beautiful and he's not wanting you... yes he's nuts>

re

[Diana2828]

Huh?

[DryGermanGuy]

His wife found out. 🤔😬

[Diana2828]

Hahaha he is married but what’s wrong with what he was doing?

[DryGermanGuy]

No idea, you would have to ask the wife. :-)

[Diana2828]

His wife don’t know

[Anonymous]

Maybe he just considers you as a friend.

[Diana2828]

Yea and what’s it gotta do with anything?

[Opinion Owner]

Well, maybe he is speaking super short because he doesn't want you to think that he wants something more.

[Diana2828]

Maybbbe

[Diana2828]

But he talks to this other lady almost for
Hours and has no problem communicating

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe she initiates the conversation.

[Diana2828]

Hunnny

[midnightmoon05]

Maybe he got a girlfriend now.

[zombiewoof]

Just be friendly, give it time see what happens

[Diana2828]

See I haven’t really been friendly more like cold toward him

[zombiewoof]

Then change your attitude, see what happens to his

[Diana2828]

Think it’s too late

[Diana2828]

You think he doing the same thing to me now?

[zombiewoof]

Maybe, be nicer, he may come around

[Diana2828]

Do you think it has anything to do with me?

[zombiewoof]

Hard to say, be nice, he may change

[Diana2828]

Why you think? You think I have something to do with it

[zombiewoof]

I do not know, but from what you described, possibly

[Diana2828]

My cold behavior?

[Diana2828]

Bc the other day he didn’t even look like he wanted to speak to me at all and used little words short phrases

[zombiewoof]

Start speaking to him

[Diana2828]

Whyyy?

[zombiewoof]

Do you want things to stay the same as they are now

[Diana2828]

Wym? Why you think he this way?