How to deal with a man that's got his guard up?

[Anonymous]

I am dating a wonderful man but he is very guarded. He has been heartbroken a few times...

He tells me he cares about me and he's falling for me but he only says these things over texts. He told me he's gun shy. When he opens up he is very sweet and caring. I know he loves me (at least he is falling in love).

I am in love with him. How do I get him to open up and trust me with his feelings?

[Comet]

Those who are guarded may not forgive themselves if they get burned again!

Earn his trust by actions not just words!

Yes - he WILL search for ''red flags"!

Now are hostile conditions for commitment, girls please forgive me but it's only because of feminism!

Show that you're unique - that you're worth the shot!

Become his best friend - not just girlfriend! Get rid of the need to impress!

There's no need for a fancy restaurant - go both skiing in a snowy winter day!

Your messed hair and red cheeks are far more appealing than mud from Estée Lauder and clothes from Gucci!

[martyfellow]

Most of us are alert to the slightest game playing these days, if that's what you mean by 'guard up.' Total honesty and openness are going to be required for him to trust you, and some time as well...a lot of probing conversation will be necessary too. It's as if you have to be a therapist for him, to some degree! Sorry, modern times!

[Jay_So_Lovely]

Bring your love baby, I can bring my shame

Bring the drugs, baby I can bring my pain

I got my heart right here, I got my scars right here

Bring the cups, baby I can bring the drinks

Bring your body, baby I can bring you fame

And that's my maf***in words too, just let me maf***in love you

~The Weeknd (Wicked Games)

Im sure that has nothing to do with your question but I really LOVE the weeknd and your Q made me think of this song.

[sfauo]

Be sincere, thoughtful, understanding, and give him time.

[Asker]

Do you think I should tell him how I feel? Or would that be a mistake? I don't want him to feel pressured but its getting to the point where I'm dying to tell him that I love him

[sfauo]

If you're being true, communication and opening up yourself is the best way to progress things and let him know you're being honest. I think that's a great idea, you wouldn't have to necessarily tell him you love straight away but letting him know you care about him among other things would ease him up.