Should I be worried my boyfriend follows so many bikini girls?

[Anonymous]

hey guys,

my boyfriend follows a lot of bikini girls and i’m tired of feeling insecure about it. should i care if he follows them?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"i tell him it makes me feel uncomfortable then asks me which one, he unfollows them then continues to follow more later. so it shows me he doesn’t care"

This is your answer, and my answer.

[Tarifa]

What's a bikini girl? If you mean girls that post pictures of themselves in bikini, I don't think it's anything to worry about. It would be if it harmed your relationship in any way.

[Asker]

yes girls who post pictures of themselves in bikinis. it makes me very insecure and i argue with him about it everyday.

[Tarifa]

That's the bottom line. You feel insecure because you think he does it in order to compare you to others. If he makes any comments along those lines, that's a red flag and you need to talk about it.

What would you do if you were at the beach and several girls in bikini were just hanging around? Would you ask your boyfriend to look away? There needs to be a certain amount of trust within a relationship. Most people don't like their partner to control their behaviour. Yet, you also need to feel secure enough and it's his job to make you feel secure.

[Asker]

no he hasn’t made any comments about comparing me to other girls. i truly do not want to care about it anymore. he clearly does not care how it makes me feel so i want to not care that he does it.

[Tarifa]

Fair enough, but avoiding the subject won't make it go away. He should care how you feel. That's the foundation of any relationship: care and respect.

[Asker]

i tell him it makes me feel uncomfortable then asks me which one, he unfollows them then continues to follow more later. so it shows me he doesn’t care. i argue with him about it everyday. i talked to a guy friend about it a while ago and he said he’s probably doing it because you’re complaining about it so he might as well do it. since i complain to him everyday he ignore my calls 8 times out of 10. and it has came to the point where he doesn’t call or text me as much anymore because he knows im going to argue about it.

[Tarifa]

You're in a downward spiral if you feel he doesn't care. If it's something unconcious, it still doesn't make it right. But the way you describe it, it seems he knows very well how you will react.

Feel free to DM me if you want to talk about it.

[William7489]

Well, without knowing more, it’s hard to say, but it’s not a great sign. Maybe you should ask your boyfriend what he would think if you started posting some pretty provocative bikini pictures on social media? Because by falling into these thirst traps, he’s really disrespecting your relationship in my opinion. If he was following a handful of them, that’s one thing but if it’s a constant then he’s openly googling these girls and that’s not cool. Now I don’t know what kind of relationship you guys have got going on or any understandings that you may have but just in general I would have to say it’s probably not pointing in the right direction.

[bowenw]

Guys look at girls, but he should respect your wishes. If it has gotten to the point where he's not even messaging you much because of it, it sounds like it is already a toxic situation that may not be salvageable.

[soe11]

• Not to be worry about it.
• It's a fun fun and hobby for some folks.
• But you shout be watched and talk to him with politeness.
• If he really want you to wear in public beaches, then should wear too.

[Jeff51]

How long have you been going out? Are you 2 committed? If the relationship is closed he shouldn't be doing it.

[ZameerAnsari91]

Yeah you should be worried, he's doing wrong, and probably not feeling any attraction towards you sexually

[In_Trance]

No. Get off his social media before you fuck everything up

[Mike_Hum]

then don't be insecure.

[Asker]

it’s okay. he broke up with me yesterday

[Mike_Hum]

alrighty.

[aboredman]

You should lol