Boyfriend hasn’t replied to my heart emoji for hours—red flag or nothing?

[Anonymous]

I sent my boyfriend a big red heart via text at 4p and it's 9pm and he still hadn't responded. He usually gets off work at 7p so it's not like he's busy.

[MrOracle]

Ask yourself if you want HIM to keep score of all the things, big and small, that he does for you, and get upset every time you don't match him point for point? I will answer for you: you would hate that. It would make you not ever want to do nice things for him. And that's exactly how he's going to feel when you keep score.

If you want attention, make that clear (a heart emoji is NOT going to be interpreted as "I want attention" by the vast majority of men). If you have a question and want an answer, make that clear. Blaming your man for your unclear communication is childish and will doom your relationship.

I appreciate that every relationship is different, so I am not suggesting that you need to adopt my systems, but I am going to explain mine as an example.

I have explained to my girlfriends (the last 5 or so over 25 years) that my job often doesn't allow me to pick up calls or respond to texts immediately. In some situations, responding to a distraction at work could put lives at risk, including but not limited to my own.

I also explain that when I go to see her in person, or when she comes over, I do my very best to devote all of my attention to her, and minimize interruptions as much as possible. But as a small business owner with elderly parents who need help, I have to EARN that time by being busy whenever I am not with her. I do try to call her everyday and we see each other 3 or 4 days a week on average, but when we aren't together, I have a laundry list of tasks to do (laundry being one of those items), so I cannot be texting all the time. That would prevent me from completing my tasks, which would mean that I have to divide my attention when we are together.

My precious girlfriend had trouble believing that until I took her to work with me for two days as my assistant. She didn't understand why my job was different from an office job until she tried to do it. I never heard another complaint about it again.

[Asker]

yup. it turned out he was lying to me the entire time. always trust your gut

[Asker]

listen quagmire, there is a reason why you are still single at your age while most men your age are married. and its very easy to tell why

[MrChinaski]

Nothing.

Why don't you call him? You know. Talk.

[HollyK21]

Why only a heart? If you love him just say that, if you’re thinking of him, just say that. It’s as if you’re trying to get him to say something you won’t say with words for whatever reason. There’s otherwise no good response to a heart emoji except thank you.

[Asker]

Yea but it be nice to still respond to the heart

[HollyK21]

Why not just tell him you love him or you’re thinking of him? Why only a heart? Were you upset with him or something?

[Asker]

yup. it turned out he was lying to me the entire time. always trust your gut

[Anonymous]

red flag

[MrChinaski]

wtf?

[236color]

Nothing. Look, we all have lives and don't always get back to the phone right away. Also, don't assume he interprets the emoji the way you intended.

[Asker]

My gut feeling was right. He was lying to me the entire time

[Kelley1]

Why would he? He might respond to a written message, but an image of a heart is worthless. If you wish to send him something that has value, send him your photo.

[PolarPoint]

Why would it be red flag. You didn't write a message that he could reply. So If he busy he couldnt reply because You didn't write something that can reply

[Nikki1989]

Christ on a cracker, what is wrong with people these days?

[msc545]

Stop worrying about it. It's not necessary for a person to reply to every emoji you send them in order for them to still be in your good graces. This is not a red flag; this is you nitpicking.

[Anonymous]

How quickly do you usually respond to messages

[whosnumber_1]

Are you just staring at the message bubble waiting?

[queenofcardio]

It's nothing, don't overthink it

[WhitneySnow]

Voice call him

[Unycorn]

Nothing.

[goaded]

Nothing.

[In_Trance]

Did you call him?

[Asker]

No I didn't

[In_Trance]

Probably a good place to start

[Iron_Man]

cold fish