Can a shy guy be so shy that he won’t text his crush even after getting her number?

[Anonymous]

I left a note with my name and number on my crush’s car a couple of weeks ago. I know I should have given it to him in person but I always get too nervous around him to do it. I had been trying to do it for a month so I decided to leave it on his car.

Well, I never heard from him and because I wanted to know for certain that he got my note. I got drunk and went up to him and asked him if he had received it (as I wasn’t 100% certain if that was his car or not). He said, “ I received it but I don’t know what to say” with a smile on his face.

I took this as a rejection and walked away. I think if a guy likes a girl, he would find a way to reach out (especially when I’ve made it so easy for him).

I used to call him my mutual crush when I wrote about him but that’s changed now as I’ve lost confidence. He started smiling at me and saying “Hi” to me again after we hadn’t seen each other for a while. When i smile and hold eye contact with him, he will hold the gaze with me until I look away and do my thing. We are strangers. I still feel it in his eyes that he still likes me but maybe I am deluded! He still shows signs of nerves around me. I’ve distanced myself from him not and am absolutely gutted that he didn’t even try to say, “Hi.”

Are there any shy guys out there that have been too shy to text their crush when she gave you her number?

[HollyK21]

I would just chop this up to he finds you attractive enough to be flirting with you and so on, but has no desire to romantically invest. A good example is those “office couples”, who sort of orbit around each other, flirt, raise gossip around the office. Yet once they clock out, that’s basically the end of it. Even if they were to be in each others faces on a night out with other coworkers, that’s just a matter of convenience, same as when they’re at work.
That could be the case here.

I’d also speculate as to whether or not he’s got a woman in the picture already, but it’s not official or very serious at this point in time. You wouldn’t know about her, he’s not posting her on social media or talking about her, but she exists. Of course that could not be the case, but only he could really give insight.
No matter the case, whether he’s shy, busy, taken, etc, he’s actively choosing not to reach out, so I would just move on from him being my crush. You took out the hardest parts, which is him not knowing whether or not your interested, and having to figure out how to get your number if he wanted it. All he has to do is text, and he’s not. So I’d just leave it there, you have enough of an answer.

[CarolineWhizz]

Yes definitely. When you think about it, it must be really tough for shy guys to ask a girl for a date. I think most girls are wired slightly differently and wonder what's so difficult about it. I suppose the thought of being turned down is a big thing if you're not that confident to start with.

[Anonymous]

You're deluded.

I'm not saying he doesn't like you on SOME level. But not the way you want him to. And he might just like the THOUGHT of you liking him (your attempts were flattery to him). Doesn't mean he likes you. And that doesn't mean you're not worthy of better. So don't take this rejection personal. I know rejection FEELS personal. But it ISN'T.

Like I say, I'm not saying he doesn't like you on some level. Or that he can't be interested later (and at that point it'd be up to YOU if you still were interested). But if you made your intentions CLEAR, and it would at least APPEAR that you have. Then you've done all you SHOULD do. Now the ball is in his court. To do anything else would be lack of self respect.

[Alex-Snow]

He may be extremely shy or insecure. It also sounds like he is new to dating, relationships and sex. How old is he? Maybe ask him out IRL or follow him on socials?

[Asker]

I think he’s in his twenties, I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to know but I’ve been too shy to ask. I can’t talk to him as I get too nervous! He showed signs of crushing on me a couple of years ago and I ended liking him back. We’re both really shy. I asked after him one time as I hadn’t seen him for a while and it must of got back to him. I started smiling at him when he returned from his holiday and he gave me the biggest smile back. From that day on, he started saying “hi” to me and seemed more relaxed, less nervous. That was a year ago though. I think I messed up would smile at him and he would say hi and look at me like a golden retriever but I would get so nervous that I forgot or didn't say hi back. One time I mouthed it. Another time I did say hi. He did it about five times before he stopped and we started ignoring each other again. When he ignores me, I ignore him back. He seems to talk to other women customers just fine. A couple of times, I think he was trying to make me jealous! He’s attractive but I think he might of never had a girlfriend before. I gave him my number and he didn’t do anything with it so I am not going to ask for his socials.

[Alex-Snow]

I still think you may need to make the first move. Maybe ask him to grab a cup of coffee and just talk

[WhitneySnow]

Definitely. I agree. This guy is super shy. You’re going to need to make the first move.

[Asker]

Guys, I have made the first move by giving him my number! When I asked him if he had received my note and he replied, “I received it but I don’t know what to say.” How do you guys interrupt that?

Since that day, I’ve not gone to see him. I’m not able to approach him and talk to him at all as I get too nervous hence I had to get drunk. I won’t approach him again as I don’t want to look desperate!! He’s attractive but so am I. I am not going to beg! I feel deeply hurt as that was the first time I have put my heart on the line. I have never given my number to anyone before. I don’t think I could even bring myself to even look at him and smile at him again because, like I said, I feel deeply hurt!

[WhitneySnow]

Tell him all that. Tell him you really like him and you’re really hurt by his inaction. If he hears that and still can’t bring himself to talk to you, he’s too shy to be capable of having a relationship with you at this time.

[Alex-Snow]

@WhitneySnow Whitney has a good point. It is ok to tell the guy you like him. If that does not work (It would certainly work on me!!!) he may have issues you do not know about or is excessively insecure/shy.

[Asker]

When I asked him if he had received my note and he replied, “I received it but I don’t know what to say.”

I don’t know if he meant I don’t know what to say as in I don’t know what to text you or if it was like when you confess to a guy (that you like them) and if they don’t like you back, they say, “I don’t know what to say.”

[Asker]

@WhitneySnow I think by giving him my number that is almost like a confession for me. It should confirm to him that I still like him. I feel like a fool and have embarrassed myself as it is so I won’t be able to tell him that. I think he might think I’m a creep because I knew which car was his lol!

[Alex-Snow]

If he was tongue tied and did not know how to reply to your note he is probably both shy and maybe a bit insecure. He is most likely new to dating and sex. I'd give it another chance, but it is your choice.

[WhitneySnow]

I agree with Alex 100%

[Asker]

I’ve kinda gone off him to be honest because he’s made me feel like sh*t! I get that he’s really shy and nervous like me, however, for me it’s a case of if he wanted to, he would (and he chose not to). I’m really shy too, however, if I was in his shoes, I would have at least mustered up a “hi.” English is not his first language, however, he is fluent. I’ve heard him speak with other people. There’s no excuse really.

[seabed8881]

absolutely, I'd bet so much money on the fact that he's overthinking the 'perfect' message to send and has typed and retyped that opener a billion times. Give him a chance, I say. It sucks but with shy guys, if you like one, you're gonna have to be the one to REALLY get it into his head that you want him

[Asker]

Are you speaking from experience? Has a girl that you liked offered you her number but you ended up not texting her?

[NMMan]

Yes, it is indeed possible for a guy to be that level of shy.

Source: I was that guy in high school and most of college.

[Asker]

Did a girl you actually liked offer you her number and you didn’t bother to text/call her though?

[NMMan]

Yes -- there was a girl I liked when I was a junior in college, who gave me her number and I did not follow up. Out of both shyness and self-doubt that she was actually interested in me. She interpreted my lack of action as my not being attracted to her, and moved on to later date someone else. Months later, I ran into her best friends at a party one night and they asked me what happened. I confessed to them that I didn't follow up because I didn't think she was actually into me... only for them to tell me that she had talked about me for weeks, and hoped we went out on a date. My heart fell straight through the floor :-(. But I learned a valuable lesson, and never made that mistake again.

[slatyb]

Yes, he can. Invite him to lunch or coffee or whatever.

[Petermorgan343434]

Just flat out, ask him on a date, You’ll never know if you don’t ask some men just don’t want to make a move Until they know for certain that a person has listened to them

[whosnumber_1]

Never that shy but I've definitely been friend-zoned for not taking initiative. Lol

[Anonymous]

I'm really shy, but not quite that bad. It is certainly possible.

[Jeff51]

Well. If he wants something from her he better text

[WhitneySnow]

He really is that shy!!!

[Nikki1989]

Nothing surprises me these days.

[Abbycado]

It’s possible, I guess.

[FunkyMonkee]

It could happen.

[ZameerAnsari91]

Yeah, of course it can happen

[Anonymous]

Yes, some guys are very shy.

[In_Trance]

Probably

[Anonymous]

Yeah