If he only wanted something casual, why does he keep coming back?

[Anonymous]

We didn’t have same expectations (he wanted fun but in a « positive way ») as he travels a lot, so he wished me to find someone good for me and so on.

But since then, he keeps coming back to me. Why?

[HollyK21]

What did he say when you asked? Which I’m sure you did… right? That’s a pretty important topic not to ask the man himself.

[Asker]

He asked me if I wanted fun or serious and I said I didn’t like fun and that I want a deep connection.
He keeps coming back to me for 6 months now (we live in different countries)

[HollyK21]

Did he give you a reason for repeatedly coming back when you asked? Are you just wanting clarification on his answer?

[Asker]

No he didn’t. He just keeps coming back to me

[HollyK21]

Well, it could be a matter of convenience, since you keep replying and he may not have other options in women right now. Even if he has had options in women, sometimes those connections don’t work out and you go back to what’s familiar. In any case, only he could give you a definitive answer as to why. If I were you I’d stop replying altogether. I’m sure going that route doesn’t make you feel the best. However, this connection can’t go anywhere when you don’t want the same things. Living in different countries makes the situation too complicated, which could contribute to him not wanting anything serious. On top of that, you’ve only known eachother a handful of months, it isn’t like he’s your best friend, so this shouldn’t be a major loss.

[Asker]

Sorry I fell asleep right after lol.
He’s a bit famous in his area, and very charming (but introverted and a bit shy).
He has a lot of girls stuck on him I guess (at least on social media).
We met abroad and I came back to my country after. Since then he contacted me like 1 month after I came back and kept maintaining contact with me.

[Asker]

Also I have a project to live in his country later (not for him) so the distance wouldn't be a real problem if things were going more real.

[Sunshinelips]

He thinks you’re easy and you’re always there when he wants it.

[Asker]

Easy going you mean? lol

[spartan55]

No, easy to have sex with.

[Asker]

@spartan55 actually not so lol

[spartan55]

Riiiight

[jahaims]

Because he gets validation from you without commitment. Which is what broken people like.

[Asker]

Mhh interesting. But What kind of validation then?

[Mado108]

Hmm he wants to continue to have s*x and validation with no investment.

[slatyb]

Because he's getting what he wants.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[slatyb]

i don't know, because I don't know what you do together, but it's something. Could be sex, could be companionship, sympathy, a cooked meal, I have no idea, something he wants but isn't getting elsewhere. The important question is: "What do you want?" It sounds like it's more than you are getting. Have you asked for it? How important is it? You can keep seeing him and not getting it, or you can decide that it's important and focus on finding a partner who will give you what you want.

[queenofcardio]

Sounds like he's unsure of what he wants

[spartan55]

For the easy sex. Duh.

[Danny_dan92]

Because he wants more

[Asker]

Maybe.
But as he was initially mentioning fun I’m a bit guarded

[Danny_dan92]

Then don’t open your legs

[In_Trance]

You answered your own question