Guy who chased me for years ghosted me after I finally showed interest?

[Anonymous]

So, I've known this guy for years, and he has made his interest in me clear multiple times. We've never actually been in a relationship, and he has even openly told me that he wanted to sleep with me. I used to be pretty distant and didn't give him much attention; I even shut him down once when he tried to take things further while we were making out.

But three days ago, I told him to come to my city and said that I missed him. We ended up having a really flirty, sensual conversation, and he even video called me. But right after that, it's been radio silence for three days. Total ghost mode.

[HollyK21]

I feel like this connection has no sense of direction. You say this guy has been chasing for years and you seem confident that he’s interested, but interested in what? Casual sex? A relationship? That does not seem to have been established when maybe it should.


From where I’m standing, his position does not seem romantically driven, but physically. You guys are flirting, sexy talk, etc., but the moment you say you miss him and to come visit, he goes awol, which to me, hints to him not wanting to cross emotional boundaries. So if you really are starting to like him, then open up a bit and have a conversation. That way if he doesn’t want anything serious, you can decide what comes next having full transparency vs guessing.

[objective_calendar]

I guess it feels disappointing when somebody who was showing so much interest in you suddenly stops doing so? He has wanted to sleep with you for a very long time but after being turned down many times he realized it's never gonna happen (and he's right, you aren't gonna do it).

[Anonymous]

Crazy how you couldn’t even think, I hope he’s ok. Hopefully he’s safe. Hopefully he wasn’t in an accident or worse, he’s dead. Women call men selfish, but I think women are just as selfish if not more than men. It’s me, me, me when it comes to women.
As for why he “ghosted” you, I don’t blame him. You’re much older, past that age of what men are really looking for. Now that you’re most likely carrying a lot of baggage, maybe damaged from previous men, in debt, stressed out, etc, now you want him. I hope he actually moves on. Waiting all these years for you, while you had your fun w other men, kept friend zoning him. He needs to meet someone else who likes him from the start as more than a friend.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you took too long? Hopefully others learn from your mistake.

[In_Trance]

You blew it.
He gave you the opportunity and you fucked up
He's with someone else now

[Anonymous]

He doesn't look reliable might be problematic even if you two date.