Why do some guys lash out when angry, then apologize later?

Question

When they get angry for whatever reason they hurt you then after awhile they reflect on their actions feel bad and then come back to apologize? why not try to control your reaction? especially if it's a small matter?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

For both genders.. lack of knowledge of how to deal with problems.
Lets take the example of a man physically attacking or hitting his wife.

I can tell you that is because women can be truly provoking. So you as a man have to first learn about the woman's nature and know they become provocative (and in what ways) in disagreements.

Anyone can know it, and men do know it since they experience it 🤷‍♂️.. which causes them to slap those wives or hit them hard. As in: silence, and listen!.. for example.
He means not to hurt her at all. But she is just like popcorn popping out anger, screams, and maybe insults (direct or indrect, of whatever way or intensity).

Now instead, you as a man may just say sorry.. and as you wish. As in fuck off, calm down and then talk.
We all understand it.
Here comes the the saying -I translate from Arabic- :
"Apology doesn't necessarily mean you are wrong, but a way of showing how important the relationship is".

I believe we all get it without explaining.

So simply shut her off.. while allowing a little screaming and anger of hers (as long as within natural female response), then go back to discussion if that is an urgent matter which can't be delayed.

At least you get the gist of what I want to say. So simply, you are blaming the methods I would say. Or say mindset of not learning as in last part.

Women's natural (non-educated) methods in general would probably be talking more and too much details + quickly jumping into conclusions.. which is absolutely annoying.

I mean any of us would fall to badly expressing or so.. then later apologizing. Yet, if we don't learn how to properly handle those situations, we simply keep doing bad and apologizing again.

I hope my idea is clear or makes sense.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

Both genders do this because their anger trumps their self control in that moment. Generally they feel hurt , threatened, disrespected and or frustrated and then react impulsively.

Once the anger subsides , they generally see more clearly again , recognizing their words or actions were unfair and feel remorse and apologize.

The psychology often points at poor emotional regulation skills or perhaps learned behavior from peers or parents.

beenherebefore · Accepted Answer

These are highly emotional Man who don't know how to deal with their emotions and frustrations. A Man who never learned how to control their emotions is dangerous to society.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

If they apologize you're lucky. Many don't even do that much. They just act like nothing happened at all and everything is fine.

ohsheeT · Answer

Because they're bullies they want control they want it their way and they think by being loud and obnoxious that they're going to get it because that's the manipulation if they can be loud and scare you they might get their way

But I will tell you this the loudest person in the room is the scariest person in the room

The other thing is is if somebody cannot control their mouth Or control the things they say or do They're not going to change you need to walk away and get away Because all that does is get worse

There is no guy on this planet worth chasing or being with if they cannot control their mouth or their anger or whatever issues they have

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Research shows a strong correlation between violent offending and childhood trauma. Studies indicate that the vast majority of violent offenders have experienced severe early-life adversity, such as physical or sexual abuse, emotional neglect, or exposure to domestic violence.

I already knew that. If your man is beating you up you need to get out of that situation.

Keithscatch · Answer

I am confused, when you say lash out, you are not referring to physical violence right? Or are you? If you are, then that is a serious problem and you should leave. If you are referring to getting angry and saying things harsh, then that is a normal human reaction. The fact he recognizes that he hurt you and apologizes means he loves you and cares about you. Would you prefer he not apologize? Men, wonder why women lash out against us and never apologize. Then when you bring it up they think they did nothing wrong or apologize only because they see it hurt you. Not that they realized it was wrong. Realizing the error is key to getting better as a person.

knallpilz · Answer

For the same reason women do it, I guess. People tend to lash out when they're hurt.  I almost exclusively know this from women, though. Bar the apologies, though. :D

genericname85 · Answer

I think it's momentary poor emotional self regulation.

dudeinohio · Answer

Some guys need time to analyze things. If something they don't like is abruptly brought up and makes them angry, they will lash out. If they are given time to sort things in their minds, they can control their reaction.

Lesbologist · Answer

Only low IQ lack of self control individuals that lead with their emotions do that.

Iron_Man · Answer

People make mistakes when they argue. They’re not thinking clearly they think it over then they apologized if they are sincere about it after they cool off

rojodefender · Answer

He doesn't believe what he's doing is more bad than it is good. It takes knowledge, time, willingness and often therapy (which is, obviously, stigmatized against) for a guy like this to change. I supposed the reason why you see it more often in men than in women is because men are often taught that being the person on top will make what they want to happen, and women are taught they have to deescalate or get hurt.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I intuitively assume they didn't, or couldn't, reach enough emotional balance during their own development. They developed guilt, which is already something, but also not enough for balance.

Brady · Answer

On the radio I herd a few x that they did a study on a few pairs of twins. They found up to 70% of a person's personality is inherited. So the guys can't control themselves n later show responsibility 4 it by apologizing.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Some people are loose cannons. It has nothing to do with gender.

molonski2 · Answer

You mean physically punching or pushing you? Sleeping you?

NoDecision · Answer

It is not just men who do this. Many women do the same.

RavVid · Answer

It may be you are making more men angry than women

fantasticass · Answer

That's a red flag in a relationship. It's emotionally abusive. No excuses for bad behaviour

Anonymous · Answer

They realize what they did was wrong. Ideally there would be no lashing out, but apologizing is good.

Cw992 · Answer

I don't think that behaviour is down to gender. It's a case by case basis. Plenty of women behave this way. I've never lashed out in my life. I think the environment in which you are raised has a lot to do with it.

Tomislav7 · Answer

Men should control their anger and women their tongues

CrazyFreak2002 · Answer

Because they struggle with control but still have a conscious

DonaldDarko · Answer

Some people are abusive. They're garbage.

_Jenny_ · Answer

It’s very common

FrodoSkywalker007 · Answer

We all can become emotionally unbalanced

jahaims · Answer

Emotional immaturity

Anonymous · Answer

😆 You think women don't do this?

Anonymous · Answer

He act to quick always regret later

Kelly6 · Answer

bipolar

ThisSiteSux · Answer

Because fuck you

Why do some guys lash out when angry, then apologize later?

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