Why do some men pull away or disappear after I introduce myself?

[unsteadydreadfeeling]

I’ve noticed something confusing. When I approach a man, I always look for signs first so I don’t make him uncomfortable. Then I introduce myself politely by saying, “Hi, my name is Caitlin — what’s your name.” But some men suddenly go quiet, act distant, or disappear right after I say that. I’m not flirting or being intense — just friendly. Why do some men react this way to a simple introduction?

[OneViewpoint]

I'll never be unfriendly or rude to any woman just being polite or friendly to me in a public social situation. But I may not engage beyond polite friendly chit chat either. I'm an introvert and unless I'm in the mood for conversation and/or I find you really interesting, I'm not generally gonna work to keep a conversation going. But I'm like that with everyone all the time. It's a "me" thing.

[bowenw]

I can't think of any reason why they would based on your description. Perhaps they are shy.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Mark_Est]

Depends.

I have been approached by a lot of women. Most of the time women come to start a conversation. But dont close the deal or wait for the man to take over. Etc.

And that is weird.

I would say, keep it simple. Say hi, hand him a piece of paper with your name and number. And tell me if he wants to hang out to call or text you, if not thats cool too. And then go away.

That gives guys time to figure out if it is a prank, scam or etc.

Also, dress normally, hardly any makeup and dont be overweight. And dont stand too close, in the personal space.

[bear34]

Most men aren't used to women making the first move. They might not know what to do in such a situation. Alternatively, if you are truly unattractive, they might simply not want to form a connection with you; after all, you know how important physical appearance is these days.

[unsteadydreadfeeling]

I understand what you mean about men not being used to women making the first move — that part makes sense.
But the “unattractive” idea doesn’t really fit my situation. I actually get men staring at me a lot when I’m out in public, so appearance doesn’t seem to be the issue. The men who disappear were already giving positive signs before I approached. They only go quiet after I introduce myself, which feels more like shyness or not knowing how to respond when a woman starts the conversation.

[bear34]

Yes, I can see that you attract a lot of interest. As I mentioned before, it might be because they don't know what to do—we really aren't used to women making the first move. I think you should just give them a signal and wait; I’m sure they’ll talk to you once they work up the courage. A man feels more at ease and finds it easier to express his feelings when he gets a signal from the opposite sex.

[unsteadydreadfeeling]

I understand your point about men needing signals, and I do try to give them. I also have moderate learning disabilities, so sometimes it’s harder for me to show I’m single and open to talking. Even when I try, some guys still don’t approach anymore, even though they seemed interested at first.
That’s why I’m trying to figure out what’s going on.

[bear34]

Perhaps you aren't making it clear enough that you're open to conversation. Why the dates don't lead to anything further is a separate issue. There could be any number of reasons: you might have rules or principles that men dislike; they might perceive you as jealous; there could be fundamental disagreements; they might not be looking for a serious relationship; or they might sense that you aren't interested in intimacy, and so on.

[unsteadydreadfeeling]

I understand what you’re saying, but I do make it clear I’m open to talking. I keep things light and friendly on dates, but nothing has developed into anything more. I’m not really someone with strict rules or jealousy issues. I’ve also tried dating apps and meeting people in public, but guys still don’t approach or things fade.
So I’m trying to figure out what the real reason might be.

[bear34]

Perhaps they aren't looking for a serious relationship, but rather a one-night stand or a casual arrangement. If you are a modest, decent girl, this kind of situation wouldn't suit them.

[unsteadydreadfeeling]

’m not into casual dating or one‑night stands, and I lose attraction when I find out a man only wants that. That’s usually when they become more interested, which doesn’t help me. So that’s not really the reason my dates don’t go further.

[bear34]

We are continuing to discuss the answer to this in another question you asked 😄

[DryGermanGuy]

Do you have a recognizable surname like Gambino, Lucchese or Colombo, maybe?

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

The bathroom stall really isn't the place to introduce yourself. Some men find it a bit too forward.

[FrodoSkywalker007]

They don't want you to put a restraining order on them and ruin their life

[jahaims]

Most guys don't want female friends. They have female friends hoping to fuck eventually

[Veronika_p]

They chicken out, not your fault

[unsteadydreadfeeling]

“I appreciate your opinion. I was just looking for male perspectives on why that happen

[Brady]

They don't want 2 talk.

[leviopperman]

because signs aren't a thing

[CubaPirate]

Insecurity I'd guess

[imemma12]

lol I don't know