Why do men avoid commitment with me and fear I’ll get attached?

[Anonymous]

Entering into my 30s and feel so impacted and hunted by my 20s.. years of never feeling enough, rejected..

my self esteem is blown... every man I’ve genuinely wanted to be with never wanted to sleep with me because they didn’t want me to get attached and didn’t want me as their girlfriend or wife they were saying indirectly as they went on to love or marry someone else.. I was so disposable

[Masie]

Well, maybe they can sense and feel the desperation and low self esteem. I am going to just guess and say that most guys will not find that appealing. Other than that, I don't know what else it could be.

Perhaps you just come off as desperate and then that turns into being clingy or needy and they back off? The low self esteem now is not going to do you any favors. You either pick yourself up and get back out on the dating scene or you can sit there and moan and complain about it

The latter isn't going to solve your problem. It is only going to exacerbate it and make things worse which will just lead to more complaining about it.

[beenherebefore]

You mention having slow self esteem and I think men pick on that and it puts them off. This is something you need to resolve. Men love women who feel comfortable in their own skin. Therapy could help but it takes time.

[Anonymous]

Ok honestly ask yourself were you on the same level as the men you wanted? Were you feminine? Wife material? Most women who aren’t meant to be wives are found right away. Maybe you were, but you looks weren’t up to par w what the men you wanted were looking for physically. But like a lot of women you probably didn’t want to take a step down to the level of men who were more on your level.

[Anonymous]

Men often avoid commitment and fear your attachment because they struggle with vulnerability and personal autonomy. Rather than a reflection of your worth, this behavior usually stems from their own emotional limitations, often classified as an avoidant attachment style. Their withdrawal is a protective mechanism, not a sign you are disposable.

[molonski2]

Well I think by the sound of it you certainly would so I'm guessing they are correct , you need to calm it all down a little and act far more relaxed , rather than a little desperate.

[BadApple69]

You were hanging around the wrong men. Some are just looking for a good time. A few are looking for a future. You need to find those guys.

[Abbycado]

You don’t know why, yet we will?

[Anonymous]

It could you or it could be them.