Can you tell when a guy is confident?

[powerpsi]

What are the signs of a confident man, not just signs when you're talking to him but just by looking at him at a distance, ways you can tell that he's confident

[Warren]

People (particularly the women) seem to be under the impression that they can judge a man's confidence level just by looking at him -- though to be fair I did see ONE person say they'd have to get to know him better for a more accurate assessment. Just one. Obviously I don't agree. I don't think that people can, in most cases, size up a person from appearance alone. Women have romanticized confidence. Hell, they're romanticized men in general. That's why you see phrases like "one can look at a confident guy and know not to mess with him", and how they'll want to "revel in his powerful confident vibe". Or how posture shows your intent to "take on the world".

Furthermore, in spite of the fact that women consistently complain about not being able to tell who is a player and who isn't, you still see things like "honestly tell you his opinion" and "tell you he believes in success and in you". They don't want him to talk about himself, they want him to talk about THEM. In other words, a man telling them what they think they want to hear is the metric by which they measure his honesty and confidence.

"Style and swag."

How a man dresses says little if anything about him. In fact, given that clothes are largely intended to portray messages, all it really says is what kind of message he wants you to receive. A man who dresses stylishly is in my opinion more likely to want you THINK he's confident and stylish, and less likely to actually BE confident. Otherwise he'd be dressing as he pleased. Few men desire to dress in "stylish" cloths, as few men aspire to be peacocks.

These examples go some distance to underline a recurring problem -- people THINK they can do more than they can. They think they can size up a guy, so when a guy merely acts as he knows she wants him to, she automatically assumes certain things about him. Usually she assumes incorrectly. In spite of the claim that people want a guy to be himself, there are claims that a man should "socialize comfortably and interact well", be "funny", and there are details about how he might or should communicate.

It boils down to this. The listed criteria is more a summary of how women want to view a confident guy, and less a description of what a confident guy actually is. When a guy doesn't turn out to be like their fantasy, they lash out and blame the "players", ignoring all the while their own flawed view of the world. The criteria ignores the women who come onto this site complaining about guys who act like confident, perfect gentleman before sex and like a different person afterward. It ignores the fact that people are not all alike, that not every man enjoys being a social butterfly, and not every man looks like a macho, confident overman. But confidence is an interior quality, so in reality this question was flawed from the start. You can rarely accurately gauge someone's personality from their appearance alone. If you think you can you're deluding yourself, and you will be deceived.

[Levin]

I agree, I think true confidence is more about being comfortable in your own skin and not too keen to pander to petty societal norms. Being a 'social butterfly' and the like has nothing to do with that. Frankly, if women judge men by such narrow and meaningless criteria, I have no interest in attracting these sorts.

[Nic92]

a confident guy walk straight, look straight and head straight, and he would make use of his hands. While talking, he always believe in his words, definitely must look at people in the eye directly, if smiling then it's even better. Also, he will NOT follow and lurk around other people.

[Chassana]

If you think about every stereotype- Player, Quiet guy, Sociopath, Etc. Every group is going to have its share of confident men and pseudo-confident men. For example- the harlequin romance bad guy. Confident outside, insecure or nonexistent inside. Then there are the people who just don't care about what people think but- couldn't that be mistaken for apathy? A truly confident guy- or person, in general, is going to be mostly unaffected by what others say about him, he isn't going to deflect it- it just isn't going to matter. That's going to be his outlook on life period, he'll be aware of what's going on around him, but how he acts will be consistent, no huge change in how he acts from his private life to his public life. There's no need for change. As for the rest of it...I thought I could tell if a guy was confident, but after oOsweetonessOo's answer (being the stereotype of a businessman or a jock/what most people think of when it comes to confident guys) and Warren's answer (about inner confidence) I really think that it's possible to tell when someone's truly confident, I just can't recall finding such a person at the time. I guess...like Warren said, the ones that're truly confident don't need to show it off.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Usually when he's lookin good. Not like super dressy, but a bit of nice style and swag.

Swag is like walking with an air of confidence (or cockiness at times - ugh,) like shoulders back, head up, ready to take on the world pretty much.

One can look at a confident guy and know not to mess with him, under estimate him, and know to expect a lot from him. He makes a girl want to get to know him, want to revel in his powerful confident vibe.

It can also be in the way the guy interacts and talks - even if he's not the most stylish dude, doesn't mean he's lacking in confidence.

Confident people tend to easily be themselves, and in turn, make the environment comfortable for everyone to be themselves as well. So you want to be around them. They can socialize comfortably and interact well - not like a super charming cassenova or whatev, but generally confident in their personality and how people perceive them.

Those are the more face value factors I use to gauge a person's confidence - but honestly to really get a good idea, I have to get to know the guy a lot more.

[NonchalantBro]

this is right on the money...BA!

[-Darling]

BA!

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

chaa tnx QA

[foreverme]

He walks tall with his head up, chest up; and when he stands his stance is straight, not leaning to one side of his body (i.e. good masculine posture). He doesn't walk too quickly like he's in a hurry or something...he is relaxed (i.e. not tense, no clenched fists, shoulders relaxed). Not too serious (i.e. he smiles and laughs...when appropriate lol). Good social skills (i.e. eye contact, nodding when listening, might use his hands to explain things, shows he's listening to you by commenting on specific things you say, doesn't talk too fast, starts conversations rather than just responding to what you say)...wow I must be really analytical ha ha I just notice these things I guess:)

[cutybrittany]

A confident man can stand up straight, look you in the eye, and can honestly tell you his opinion. You have to be careful because confidence can be mixed up with ego, Confident man will not talk about himself and how many ladies he can get, he will tell you he believes in success and in you.

[mike0000]

A confident man walks straight with straight chest and he looks straight right into your eyes whenever he talks with you(or anyone else). He might use his hands and fingers for better communication.He keeps his hair & face neat and clean(I DO...lol). He might be funny as well but mostly his body language shows if he is confident or not. He has a kind of joy, excitement, a passion to do something ...etc qualities.

[peacenic]

he is not looking at His feet,He is not looking left and right...he is just looking forward where he is going...

[Warren]

..why is it bad too look left and right? I don't look at my feet, but I damn well look to the side to be sure I don't crash into anyone coming down an adjacent hallway or doorway. This is like saying a confident driver never looks in their rearview mirror. xD Bunk.

[peacenic]

mmk Warren maybe I should have written" He is not rubbernecked " obviously He is gonna look both ways before crossing the street...but He is confident in Who He is and where He is going and what He willing be doing upon arrival,so He has no need of coveting or sizing up others..

[madiocre]

It depends how you define confindent . A ot of people come across as confident but I don't think there are many who actually are.

[CasaNorba]

i heard women can read us like open books... and I think its true

[Anonymous]

Posture, how people around him act or seek his opinion.

[Ezmotts]

He's true to his heart and doesn't take sh*t from anybody.

[selena_gunn]

how he talk, walk, carries himself! :)

[moviedude714]

yeah girls have a 6th sense