Why can't I be proud of myself? why do I keep destroying myself?

[michitas]

I seem to have a problem, which may seem harmless at first...but it's starting

to destroy me...or at least that's what other people told me.

I can't be proud of things I accomplished or did. I keep criticizing myself. I keep telling myself: hey, what you did isn't special. everyone can do that. or when people give me compliments, I can't acknowledge them...

I keep telling myself, that other people don't really know me. that they see me in their own perception, which

is built through things they believe are part of me.

how can I get rid of criticizing myself? how can I relax and truly appreciate what I've accomplished in my life?

it's kinda like this but in a bad way: “The more you know, the more you know you don't know and the more you know that you don't know.”

[XRabbitHeartX]

Well this is a mindset problem and the only way to get rid of that mindset is by learning some controlling skills and weaning yourself off it. Whenever there comes a negative thought up then you block it out. And you do this every single damn time it happens. Our brains are powerful things and it takes about 66 days to form a habit. Yes this seems like a long time but if you reach a point where you would do anything to keep yourself sane then these 66 days seems like nothing. If you accomplish something then you did it. End of story. Whether someone else did it already or whether it may seem as if it's not special, bottom line you did it and in this world it's each person for themselves and you alone are responsible for your happiness. There's plenty of people out there who are much less well off than you. Sometimes brainwashing yourself isn't a bad thing and maybe it's time you should start brainwashing your mind right now and making it understand that you are the best and that your accomplishments are good because a accomplishment stays a accomplishment. Don't place a certain value or degree on it.

[michitas]

thanks for your input :-)! you say that our brains are powerful things...that's the problem. negative thoughts are MADE by that "powerful thing". you see where I'm heading?

how am I to brainwash myself, when something so powerful tells me, that it's no use?

I understand what you're saying...but I don't know what to do with this information.

[XRabbitHeartX]

True but you can always "convert" your thoughts. Like I said whenever a negative thought comes up you can convince yourself that it's not true and by constantly blocking it out you train your brain a certain way. I just meant powerful brain the sense that you can force it to think a certain way.

[Konnour]

There are few options:

-Perfectionism, stubbornness

-Traumatic past, "evil echoes"

-Lack of purpose in life, confusion

Treat it like a disease.

Instead of (only) working on the consequences, identify the cause and eliminate it.

If you will accomplish it you will be fine.

If you are perfectionist then learn that "very good" is also acceptable option, complete perfection and flawlessness do.not.exist.

If it's traumatic past the best option is to get a grip and become a real man! On the inside not (just) outside.

Those who fall are not pathetic, but those who don't rise up again -are- pathetic.

If it's lack of purpose then... you just have to find it. The chances are that everything you do and strive for are not -really- what you actually need, what would give you a sense of fulfillment.

In that case you need to do an enormous self-reflecting and to figure it out at least.

Good luck.

[kheserthorpe]

Worry less about special and more about being good.

Lots of guys could be a good man, responsible, diligent, true to himself, honest with women, direct and passionate, sexual, reliable, a good father, a good friend.

Its not 'special' in the grand scheme of the world.

But that man would be pretty special in the lives of all those around him. Yeah, someone else _could_ do all those things in their lives, but the fact is, he'd be the one doing it.

[michitas]

you know what's scary? apparently I AM a good man...apparently I AM all of those things you listet, except that I'm not a father. I still don't feel good about myself though.

I tried to imagine what I had to accomplish in order to feel good and nothing came to mind.

[MrFlirtatious1992]

I feel that you are kind of a perfectionist and don't settle for nothing but the best, even when you have done your best.

[michitas]

and how can I get rid of that?...

[MrReal]

Don't worry be happy.

https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU&ob=av3e