Why is he so hot and cold?

[Anonymous]

My question is about a guy I work with, first I have to admit that I do have a crush on him. I know this may or may not affect how I interpret his behavior. Anyway I didn't think he would be interested in me but one day I started to notice some odd behavior. First he was always smiling around me, like a big cheesy grin. Second he would get really close to me invading my personal space. He never turned his back to me and there was lots of eye contact. He would stare at me when I was talking with someone else. He would tell jokes and look to see if I laughed. He made excused to touch me, like fist bumps and pats on the back, accidently bumping into my chair. Always offering to do things for me.There's another guy that I work with that flirted very openly with me ( I didn't flirt back), my crush got really quiet and barely talked to me.He also acted really nervous around me (it was adorable). I had a client tell me how pretty I was in his presence and he said "yeah, she is". I am very shy when I like someone and I didn't want him to know how I felt out of fear of rejection. Recently, I put myself out there and began to flirt back but he really seems to respond strangely. For example we worked in separate areas and I saw him and told him to come and see me. He said OK and later came over but only to get something. I commented that he needed to come keep me company and he seems annoyed (I think I came on too strong). I decided to back off but when he did come over he did his same old invading of my personal space by getting really close to me and making an excuse that he was looking at something. After that he acted like he really didn't want to talk to me. He turned his back to me and walked away while I was talking to him. He's never done this before. Sometimes I get really quiet around him because he I don't know how to act and when I do he always seems so concerned about me asking if I'm OK, and why I look so sad. Why does he even care?

Whenever I ignore him he goes out of his way to get my attention. Why does he flirt and pay attention to me when I ignore him and act uncomfortable when I pay attention to him? I am so confused!

[powerpsi]

I'm guilty of doing this also. It's really simple: You want the girl to think about you more.

You give the girl attention and make her feel beautiful and valuable and loved, and then you take it all away and make her realize that without you, she goes back to being alone and unnoticed. You become her source of joy and excitement and sexual tension.

It's called manipulation. You'll find yourself thinking more and more about him, and the more you think about anybody the more important they become to you.

Then you'll start to feel nervous around him, wondering what he's doing and why he is acting this way. He just wants to sleep with you and he's trying to get you vulnerable to make it easy.

I've been there plenty of times, I did that to girls and then once I knew they were seeking my approval and attention I swept in and took the prize with little to no resistance.

[Asker]

So much of what you've said rings true, especially the part about me thinking more and more about him and feeling nervous around him because of his unpredictable behavior. I never considered that he might be manipulating me. He isn't ,however, the only guy I work with that flirts with me. Despite my crush I don't intend to be anything but friends with him because we work together. We're nurses and don't need any personal drama affecting our ability to do our jobs.

[mandi8787]

Everything you said is true. However, I wonder. Would a guy still do that if he knows that the girl likes him already?