Am I asking too much or is he A cheap bastard ?

[Anonymous]

Last night the guy I went out with conviently dissapeared when it came time 2 pay fir my drink. Just a Beer 3.50. bit his idea to go out! His excuse, I usually pay always, which is a gross exagerraton

What do you think gentlemen?

Rude?

Is he no longer interested?

We've been dating a month

Updates

+1 y

we are both in bad financial places. Maybe it won't work because of that it is domething to think about

[heavensgift2girls]

Honestly I don't think that one lousy beer should be a problem for you. If this was the first date and he asked you out, then it would be a little different. If you are going out for a month then it shouldn't be a problem for you to pick up the tab from time to time.

Now if he had wanted to go somewhere really expensive when he knew you could not afford it, then that would not be very cool of him. After a month of dating neither of you should be keeping score, counting every single beer. If you have a future together there are going to be bigger problems than this come up. Either you can work it out or you can't.

Imagine if the two of you are married, and one of you work longer hours, but the other one does most of the house work. Both of you might feel like the other is not doing their fair share. It is normal for both people to think they are contributing more than they really are. Sometimes both people will feel used at the same time. This is just 3.50. It is nothing to be upset over. It sounds like maybe things are not working out, and you are looking for a reason to break up with him.

[Asker]

But he first suggested a really expensive bar abs I said no let's go to the pub because neither of us could afford the expensive place really. I tried to be cobduderete

[heavensgift2girls]

I dunno. In order for it to really matter, I would say that you would need to see a pattern of such behavior. With it being just this one time, I wouldn't worry about it though. Maybe he is taking advantage without realizing it. Just try to explain your feelings without sounding angry or like you are blaming him for something. He may just not understand your needs. Without knowing more it is impossible to say.

[justincider]

Exactly, well said, although I don't know that I buy into she is looking for a reason to dump him. This is what she expects him to do when they are out together. I had a girl ask/take me to the movies once after several nice dates, the dollar theaters mind you, said she wasn't hungry for anything so I had to buy my own food, and then she ate half of it. She thought nothing of it ...

[heavensgift2girls]

I would just think she was wanting to share mine, because it was more romantic. I have met some girls like that before. Maybe I let things slide too easily though.

[Rykar]

Wow, yeah, real bad dating form. Not sure what to tell you there. Where did he go, bathroom? Did he know the bill was on the way? If he did, yeah, really lame.

[Asker]

Hey thanks for that. Yeah he knew it was coming. Had ti use the phone :(

I did confront and was upset he apologized and said if he knew it would've caused that much trouble

He would've paid. And that I was making a bigger deal of it.

I like him so much and it hurts me and makes me feel like I'm not worth anything

Like I'm cheap

I've given him a lot abs I'm trying ti hold back a bit because it's so common for mw to give not recieve

[justincider]

Yeah, if he knew you were going to make an issue over $10 it would have been easier to just pick up the tab than have to listen to you make an issue of it. Read the signals ...

[Anonymous]

That's a really scumbagish move on his part. It was HIS idea to go out so that means he should have paid. If it was the other way around then I could see how it's expected that you might pay if that is his thing. Even if he does usually pay, what does it matter? If he likes you then he should want to pay for you. Him keeping tabs on how much he pays means he thinks about it too much, like he expects something in return. Don't let him make you feel guilty. My boyfriend loves to pay for me because he sees it as a way to show his affection, like he's taking care of me. He doesn't want me to worry about paying, and sometimes I practically beg for him to let me pay for him. He might have been testing you but why should he? Testing people is so immature and a major turn off, not a great way to communicate on his behalf.

[Opinion Owner]

It's not a matter of who is cheap, it's about principal.

[Opinion Owner]

principle*

[Asker]

Thank you. I'm really hurt I thought he was better then this :(

[Moloch]

Of course this gets BA.

[Opinion Owner]

Just saw your comment to other dude. I've been in your situation before where I give so much, took him out for his birthday, spent like $200, and the guy ended up losing interest in me. I felt like such a dummy. It's happened more than once with other guys who let me pay for them, they lost interest in me. I am not the type of person that minds giving but once I met my boyfriend I was blown away at how much he really loves taking care of me. I have hope that a nice girl like you will end up happy.

[Opinion Owner]

@ Moloch- I bet you don't have a girlfriend. Your answer to her question is so childish and stupid. Grow up!

[Asker]

It's funny how all the male responses for this guy seem very hostile and the other ones normal. Makes you wonder why so defensive?

[justincider]

You felt stupid because you spent money on one guy, such a dummy. How do you think we feel with every girl we date then where it doesn't work out, she loses inerest, she's dating for free. Yes it is a nice way to show affection, but you guys are kidding yourselves if you don't think many girls take advantage of that. Maybe she has been paying, and if so good for you. Seriously. But you made an issue of a small bill. Just realize its really your issue and your expectations. Over a beer...

[Asker]

I never said I felt stupid. I was hurt you shouldn't lump all women together

Many men gave tried to buy me in life and I've never allowed it

I'm a good person with good values and I beluevev in real love and fairness

PS

[Opinion Owner]

Well first of all I was not the girl that dated for free so I could care less what other guys do. This is MY case, and in MY case I would repeatedly get screwed over. It's not MY and OP's fault that those guys made a mistake. There are those girls that do take advantage but OP and I are clearly not those types of girl. Mostly, all the males on here are treating her like one. Why is that? Can't they put their own frustrations behind and give her some common sense advice? It's not the bill that

[Opinion Owner]

is the issue! It's the principle! He walked out on purpose! If he didn't do it on purpose then that is a different story and OP would be exaggerating, but that is not the case. Then he tops it off with excuses and the lamest excuse of all, which according to her is not true! Did you not read or are you blinded by your personal sour feelings towards all females?

[justincider]

"the guy lost interest in me. I felt like such a dummy" - I mean, I gues that isn't feeling stupid, but I read way better than you ..

I don't hate women, I love women. I treat them like people first and women second. That means they have to treat people with respect, and I do not see either of you thinking that way. I am more concerned women like you have no one to tell you how

[justincider]

Completely full of sh*t you are. You influence other women to be this way, and that f***s yhings up.for everyone. You believe the man shoukd pay, period. Admit it to yourself, and be OK with being that kind of girl

And I read she made him dinner? Sweet, but the cheapo date for sure. Pay per view too? I will say, her driving sucks though, but that's about it from what I read...

[Asker]

He's not reading squat

[Opinion Owner]

LOL what a dumbass! Pay attention and reread again my dear. It was me who said I felt like a dummy, I was not denying it, OP got confused. Anyway, you make absolutely no sense. How are we influencing women to act spoiled, when we have been doing the exact opposite?! You're now just pulling things from your ass just because you know I am right about you. DON'T LUMP ALL OF US WOMEN TOGETHER! Get that through your stupid thick head. I'm so tired of all your whiners that can't tell the difference!

[Asker]

Men like you make me want to puke

[Moloch]

Seriously, women skimp out and rarely pay for dates because they feel entitled to free sh*t, and it's the “gentleman” thing to do. Calm down over $3 bucks because this happens to men every single day of the week. I don't understand how my response to her answer was childish, I merely said of course this got best answer because this was the answer that supported your views. In fact, I think your response to my response was actually childish.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok seriously if you have nothing insightful to say then don't say anything at all. AGAIN I say, DO NOT GROUP ALL OF US WOMEN TOGETHER! Are you that immature and incapable of isolating your own personal experiences from this one girl's case? This is a completely different situation so there is no need to bring out your anger of all women on here! You're just like all the whiners on here who jump on the first opportunity to blame girls like OP and I.

[Opinion Owner]

And of course you won't realize how immature and selfish you are sounding "when was the last time you did something for him?" Why the question? That's sounds just plain rude and childish. Then when she responds with something that makes you look like a dumbass you ignore it and reply with the most non-logical response to try and place blame on her again.

[Stacyzee]

Yeah, that was a big tab. He bailed. All he could afford was a bag of chips, he was too embarassed to say.

[Asker]

He then went out to buy $6 ciggetettes though!

[justincider]

He was testing you and you FAILED! Sorry, but its true. He probably feels like he has been paying more (of course, I don't really know), especially at the beginning because its the norm. He left so you could pick up the bill, a small one at that, and you made an issue over it. It doesn't matter who thought up leaving the house, you went out together. Now he feels if you pick up something real, like a dinner, it will be an act of congress complete with protesters on the steps of capital hill!

He may not dump you over it, but your reaction is telling, and he will now be looking hard at everything else.

You are the cheap bastard, own up to it! $3.50? You're f***ing kidding me, right?

[Ultraspacerobot]

um, I think if the girl is hinting towards wanting me to pay, as in (I like you and want to see if you`ll take care of me) I will. do you usually pay for the both of you? or do you mean just yourself?

[Asker]

He's paid when we've gone out twice ( once being burger king) both those times I drice to him though which costs me in gas because we live an hour away.

I made him dinner at my house really fancy and expensive. I've brought him to my friends parties were he drank all night for free. I have been giving.

[psm357]

I think it depends on the situation. Does he has something urgent to attend to? What you can do is give him another chance, if he 'disappear' again during the time to pay the bill then it is likely he is trying to run away from it.

[Moloch]

I don't think that's a big deal, it's just a beer. When was the last time you bought him a beer?

[Asker]

The last time we went out

[Moloch]

Then doesn't it make sense that he thought you were gonna take care of your own beer because you paid last time?