Is He Being Cheap?

[Cathy7734]

My girlfriend has been on two dates with a guy. On both dates, he took her to a nice restaurant and paid for everything. She thinks he is a gentleman and he has expressed that he wants to take things slow, which she is fine with. They are both the same age. They both work full-time and both have good jobs.

He suggested taking her to a movie on the third date, followed by dinner. He asked if he paid for everything, would she leave a tip for the waiter at the restaurant?

She thought he was being cheap so she declined.

What do you think?

[Anonymous]

He shouldn't have asked... but this is something she should have volunteered. But more and more guys are realizing that dating is a complete waste of time. If a woman was purely interested in spending time with the man to get to know him, it wouldn't matter where they went. Guys know this but they still take part and try to convince themselves otherwise because the truth means taking action. The only exception to the rule is if she is a true woman of God. Only then is she worth courting / dating.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I think he was wrong to ask her. If she wanted to volunteer to pay anything then it was up to her, but I'm old school like that! I believe it is up to the guy to pay as long as he can afford it!

[Cathy7734]

I've noticed that the woman doesn't reciprocate much in the relationship, which is understandable if she's not interested.
When should a woman start reciprocating if she is interested? If she never does, the guy may feel used, as if she is just looking for a free meal.

[TommyMountainFigure]

He might just enjoy her company, and if as he said he wants to take things slow, he is staying true to his word. He may decide he's had enough at some point, or he may not. There is no way of knowing. Maybe he's happy to pay, and maybe she might want to buy him a present as a thank you.. Who knows?

[Cathy7734]

Are you saying you believe that she shouldn't have to reciprocate if he wants to take things slow and just get to know each other?

[TommyMountainFigure]

I was brought up to do something with a good heart, or not do it all.. By that reasoning I have always paid on dates. IF the date wanted to chip in, I wasn't against it but I would never ask her.. Sometimes I'd get fed up after some time, and other times I wouldn't.. Usually though, if she didn't offer she'd buy me something as a thank you.
So really what I'm saying is, if there comes a point where he isn't doing so with a good heart, then that is the time he should stop.

[Cathy7734]

I don't understand what a "good heart" has to do with this.
Say a guy dates a woman but she never reciprocates in any fashion or way. And if he eventually feels like she is just using him for a free meal, you are saying he wasn't taking her out with a "good heart?"

[TommyMountainFigure]

No not at all. He is paying for the date, and he is happy to do so.. If or when there comes a time when he feels used and STILL pays for her? THAT is when it is no longer with a good heart, and he should stop doing so!

[Cathy7734]

Let's say he has been dating her and now feels that she is just using him for a free meal. You are saying he should no longer date him. Why not ask her to reciprocate before cutting her off?

I've been watching relationship Youtube videos and some are saying many women find it difficult to say "no" to free money. It's only natural to just keep receiving.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Ok let me see if I can explain this.. Paying for everything is my way of getting to know someone. I'm happy paying, but it would be nice for them to offer once in a while to contribute. If they don't, say after 6 or 7 times, I won't bother calling them again because I know from that what kind of person they are!

[AviatorTom]

SHE is being cheap. All he asked for was a tip... can't she afford that?

[Billlewis]

She's absolutely right -- he's definitely cheap, and good for her for refusing to go out with him again. I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me as well, if that's alright. Thank you very much.

[MysteriousDarkness]

She was being cheap because she would not pay the tip even if he pays for the movie and the dinner. On top of that he paid for whatever needed to be paid for on the first two dates.

[laly520]

if he were truly cheap he wouldn't have paid for any in first place

[Anonymous]

She did him a favor by showing her true colors so he doesn't have to waste anymore time (and money) on her.

[Cathy7734]

If a woman is interested in the guy, when do you think she should start reciprocating?

[Opinion Owner]

She should offer to pay half on the first date, even if he still insists on paying. After that, they can take turns. There is literally no valid reason in 2024 why men should be expcted to always pay for dates.

If a woman doesn't offer to pay half on the first date, I'll let it slide. If she doesn't offer on the second, I will suggest it before the third date. If she refuses, or if she jusdges me for it like your friend, she has told me everything I need to know about her.

[sirderpsalot123]

No. She's cheap

[Cathy7734]

Why is she being cheap?

[sirderpsalot123]

He paid for two dates already, but she can't cover the tip? This is why men are in their "soft guy" era lol some women are absolute bums

[Cathy7734]

I've been watching a lot of relationship YouTube videos and some are saying you can't blame women for not reciprocating. It's almost impossible to say "No" to free money. It's so nice just to receive. So a woman can be very interested in a man and not reciprocate at all.

[sirderpsalot123]

Feel how however you want, but men are getting tired of it and eventually women will have to adjust or be lonely.

[war_daddy]

she's cheap