My boyfriend buys expensive gifts for himself and his kids, but cheap things for me, what does that mean?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend constantly buys himself and his kids expensive things, but me cheap things.

For example he bought us both racquetball racquet for Christmas. Since he didn't buy any balls I went to pick some up and saw that he bought himself one of the most expensive racquets and the one he got me was the cheapest one available.

I know it should be the gift that matters, but he constantly is buying himself expensive gifts (Ipads, digital cameras ($600+) and his kids. He takes his kids out to very expensive restaurants and I'm lucky if we go out to a hole in the wall diner.

He can very much afford to spend a little money on me every once in awhile...and maybe its not so much the money but the fact that he seems to express himself through money and I'm on the cheap end.. Does that mean I really don't mean much to him or "rank" up there with being someone important to him?

Updates

+1 y

Wasn't asking about whether or not he should buy me expensive things. I was asking that by the mere fact that he chooses not to, does mean anything? I think the fact that he spends money on and cares for his childern is a very admirable quality in a man.

Updates

+1 y

Actually, to be honest if he had spent no money I would have felt much better than to have had the cheapest item he could find given to me. And I am an avid racquet ball player, he is a beginner.

[jexy22]

I believe the question you are asking is, "How much does he value me?" Love is a verb as we know and we feel loved by the actions of those who love and are loved by us. This man buys expensive things for himself and his kids. I don't know how long you have been together but it seems he doesn't value as much as he values himself. It's not about the money but how it is spent. And it certainly isn't being spent on you. It's obvious you are not a "golddigger" - but a person who is questioning how important you are to him. I get this because I was in the same position with a man I loved - a relationship that lasted 5 years. He wasn't a bad guy, just always put himself first. Our incomes were very different; he made 5 times more than I did. He would only do something for me if it benefitted him. This was true with money, time, etc...I always, always had the feeling that I came in second. And the reason I felt that way was because it was true! You shouldn't go through life feeling that way. Find a different guy.

[FrannyK]

This is 100% it. Value not money... it will never change. Move on or you will always feel "off" in this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Why should he buy you expensive things? You should be happy he spends money on his kids and buys you anything at all.

You should ask yourself this...if he doesn't buy you 'expensive things' does that mean that HE doesn't rank up there with you?

[ItalianBro]

"if he doesn't buy you 'expensive things' does that mean that HE doesn't rank up there with you?" Nice

[Anonymous]

Actually yeah it does mean something - it means he's too nice to you. If he were to read this question from you, rest assured, I'm sure he wouldn't buy you anything ever again. Not even a stick of gum.

[ItalianBro]

Who cares, when did expensive gifts define how much you love someone. For Christmas I drew a picture for my brother. It took me a good amount of time and he loved it. I got my girlfriend a sh*tty racquet when she started, how serous are you in playing racquetball? If your a beginner than the $20 dollar basic racquets are meant for new people. The racquets are bigger, which makes it easier to hit.

My parents would spend a lot of money on my brother and I. The video games, toys, clothing. My parents would get each other pajamas or something small. You will always get less than the children.

[ajayanand1975]

From your discussion, I understand that the you are not the biological mother of the kids. I too do the same when it comes to my girlfriend or her family. Its basically, I feel its worth spending money when there is no returns from other side. I spend when she too spends on me.

[FrannyK]

He doesn't value you and you can feel that. I'm curious if you are still with him and if you are still feeling like this? If a man values you believe me he's going to show you in every way. In the long run you will always feel something is off or realize he didn't see you as something worth investing in. I hope you moved in and found a man who makes you feel amazing in every way.

[MTVcasting]

I'm casting for MTV's True Life: I'm Dating a Cheapskate. If you are interested in telling me more about your story and potentially having a chance to be on television, send me an email at [e-mail] with more details and a contact number. I'd love to hear from you! All correspondence will be kept private and confidential.

[AnAnonymousPerson]

He could just be making sure you're not dating him for his money.

[PeterCobra]

https://youtu.be/LQ7wT4CUprQ