How do you deal with being played?

[Anonymous]

you had the best of intentions but the guy played you. he doesn't care. how would you suggest I deal with it because I feel like killing myself.

Updates

+1 y

may I make this clear? the guy had sex with me and than let me go. ...no signs of relationship so how do you deal with being treated like shit cause I don't feel like going out anymore. I fear no one else wants me.

[sammy1988]

That's a lie you perpetrate on yourself. You are desirable. The fact you have social proof in friends means you are desirable. The fact you got used (though this may be a bad example) shows there was a hint of sexual attraction about you, you just had bad judgement and weren't able to pick up the signs that the guy was the bad type.

Now I want you to take out a piece of paper and write down all the lesson you learned, the things you had problems with in that previous situation, and how you plan on handling this. It's pretty important to take a break if you need it, you may ruin the next guy who might be genuinely interested in you by assuming he's like the last guy. Write a list of what you want in a guy and compare it to your last guy. Eliminate the similarities and take a look at the differences. You should be wary of the "too seductive". Often in your age people who are too romantic and too fast moving just want sex. There are some though, who move fast because they don't know how to take it slow, and usually these are genuine guys who had a rough past in relationships, like you. Which is important you set yourself these standards so you don't end up rushing like them. The more you realize you've got a better catch, the lesser you are likely to allow yourself to mess up.

Also, set a boundary with sex. If you do not like random hook-ups and one night stands, make it known to the guy that you are not that type of girl. If he even complains about that, you should get out immediately. A genuine guy will want a relationship with you, will want to get to know you and love you for who you are, not the shape of your body. Don't be so quick to giving your body up for approval or hopes of getting further with the man. Sex can be the end all be all if no relationship or bonding is established at first.

[sammy1988]

I'm a guy and I can attest that women do this far more than men do, despite whatever their intentions may be. I've dealt with girls who liked me to the point of obsession, but played games with me to see how far they could get in making me squirm. I've also dealt with the sick/emotionally sadistic women who will only play you to see the reaction they get. Both, in my opinion are not worth my time at all. Given the set of circumstances, here is my response:

1) If the girl likes me, but plays games, I give her three strikes. I will ask her out three times. I will be open to her and try to heat things up. In rare cases I will ask her if she likes me. If she strikes out three times, this is a very insecure girl who would be a disastrous choice for a relationship anyhow.

2) If the girl is sadistic, I send her a nice long text because I don't want her to see me get angry because sadistic women love that. I don't want her to hear my voice, and I don't think she's worth the time and distance to confront. I send her a nice long text blowing up all her personality problems to her, making her feel even more insecure than she is now, and end it with a nice "f- off psycho". And then I delete her contact info and pay her no regards. It helps because it vents your anger out, and it tells them to f- off and blows their insecurities up. Karma is a biyotch, and it's a biyotch put to good use.

[allola]

Do not let him control your life. Do not give him the power of driving you to suicide. Don't even cry over him, he's not worth the tears. Okay, so cry if you really need to. It's not healthy to hold it in. But honestly, he isn't worth the heartache. Do whatever you can to get over him, and move on to bigger and better things.

Don't let this guy ruin your love life. Once again, he is not worth it! Not all guys are like this. Just because you had bad luck with this one, definitely doesn't mean that you should give up.

Do not opt. for revenge. Sure, it'll feel satisfying, but you shouldn't dwell on this. Just forget about the guy (easier said than done, I know). Cut him out of your life and get the satisfaction of knowing that you are in control of your own life, and his actions, as hurtful as they are, will not stand in the way of your happiness.

However, you should not completely forget this. I do not mean that in the way of holding a grudge. But remember this, it's an experience that helps you grow and mature.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

[sammy1988]

Though it's important to note here that men will play women for sex, and vanish, while women will play men for attention and attraction, then vanish. This is because inherently, women are insecure creatures that constantly need to be reassured of their looks and desirability and men have a drive for dominance and conquest.