Men give women attention and then retreat?

Question

Is this the way guys flirt/act nowadays? Act really interested in a woman, give her loads of attention and then cut all contact off for 4 days or so... Do you do this? What do you do and why?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yeah I do that. Girls tend to turn a guy down if you act too interested or predictable. Of course, most girls deny it but it's just the way it is. When you flirt a little and then retreat the girl starts to wonder why you're not flirting with them anymore and they are hooked.

They also start wondering if another girl might snatch you and that drives them crazy. So yes, knowing to withdraw a bit is a powerful action in seduction. It also shows that you are not desperate. Some guys just act like puppy dogs as soon as a girl talk to them, it's pathetic and girls don't find that attractive. But a guy they like who has options and showed them interest is way more attractive.

FlaggLives · Accepted Answer

We do it because flirting is a two-way street. The gender role of the guy always giving the girl attention and chasing her is played old and old as hell, so if a guy doesn't contact you for a few days, he's expecting you to re-initiate things and get the conversation going again to see if you actually care and are interested or not. You can't always expect the guy to contact you first and call you first, text you first, etc etc. Girls are just as capable of texting first or calling first as a guy is.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's called playing games. And not being interested.

In regard to your update, you must keep in mind that many of the guys here, mostly under the age of 25 or so, apparently have vaginas. It's why they get so butthurt when questions like this are asked. Either they get highly offended or they turn the tables and say "WELL GIRLS..." *eyeroll*

EndlesslyDelish · Accepted Answer

Honestly, because women are attracted to jerks. When there is a nice guy chasing us, we treat him like sh*t and only become friends with him cause he doesn't excite us the a jerk does. He's a loose cannon and we don't know what to expect. When we get older, we'll get tired of hunting jerks and settle down with a nice guy. Circle of life, man.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

not really I mean some guys play games but when guys do that they probably aren't really interested in a relationship with her.

OpenClose · Answer

Personally, I don't do this. But I have a hard time finding legitimately attractive women to approach, anyway.

Most guys would love to just give you a lot of attention off the bat. But the common mantra is that we're told to seem as anti-desperate as possible, almost to the point of apathy and rudeness.

I'm not sure if this is something most girls actually go for, or if it's just some illusion the Pick-Up-Artist community tried to spread. (They have a tendency of going after status-seeking women and "daddy's girls". Girls who spend more time judging and criticizing than anything.)

I really think relationships are NOT the place to act constricted by social expectation. If a girl appears "desperate" to me, I understand why, and I know how it is. I don't give a crap about perceived status. I would just like to know that what I'm dating is a human. And I would like for her to understand my humanity as well.

kholland65 · Answer

We also know that ironically the best way to make a girl like you is to ignore her. I actually just saw a funny comic the other day that illustrated this. It said:

"3 ways to make a girl like you: buy her something more expensive than flowers, buy her flowers, and finally ignore the sh*t out of her.

What's funny is this is true. Some smart guys with a lot of will power, will quite literally ignore a girl because he knows it will make her want him more, just like I'm sure the fact that this guy in question hasn't contacted you in 4 days is making you want him more.

stillinshock · Answer

really! are you kidding me?! is this the way you think things are done?! well we give hope on someone up to a limit, after that...we give up! things should be from both sides...he gives you attention and you do the same! you know if someone keeps giving you attention and you not giving him the attention I'd feel like I'm humiliated! really!

insanity · Answer

because you girls now are days play hard to get :-D so guy plays ,the not caring guy , the give  I don't a crap guy,  the a**hole  type and not the jerk  type .i hate the cat and mouse game :-) I like a girl a go straight point like this : hi there your cute and I like you  and leave her to decide :-) . RATE of success 20% but it's worth it :-D

tomblanco12 · Answer

It happens when the girl is inconsistent or up & down. Yes, I retreat a bit as I am not sure if I am annoying her or not. Of course, after this the grils starts paying more attention to me and I carry on chasing her more again.

MyUsernameRules · Answer

Well guys do that because they don't wanna be label as a creep by girls. It's pretty much a suicide mission for guys to fully express their true feelings and be 100% the way they wanna be around a girl they like.

shyguy89 · Answer

honestly I had this problem recently I think its due to losing interest. and really any girl has a shot but my attention is forward they have to find a way to keep up-_- girls do it too.

sfauo · Answer

No, that's the actions of a guy being too pushy, a player, or just finding out he didn't like the girl.

TheUglyOne · Answer

Not that  I'm aware of. A guy is supposed to back away for a little while, but four days seems excessive. If this is still early in your meeting him, I guess its possible he could of been real busy.

anonymousbastard · Answer

Oh really? The same can be said about you women.  You pretend to like a guy one minute then blow him off the next. So it works both ways.  Don't be accusing guys because it,  happened to you this time. Sucks don't it.

AllDay · Answer

That usually means he's not interested but if he goes hot and cold frequently then he's playing games.

Moloch · Answer

4 days is nothing. We back off to let you flirt back or we'll look desperate.

Xx_DRE_xX · Answer

No, but we don't want to seem all needy or clingy either.

Yeahhbro · Answer

Men have always done this and we do it because then you call us desperate, creepy and many more not very nice, superficial and overused nouns

Men give women attention and then retreat?

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