Sometimes depression is medical, but most of the times it is due to poor life choices. Choosing not to get proper sleep, choosing not to eat right, choosing not to be social with others, choosing to watch TV instead of study for a promotion or hit the gym. You may not be choosing to feel depress, but you're choosing to do the things that make you depressed.
There is a difference in "feeling depressed" and having a depression. You can feel depressed from eating wrong or not getting enough sleep, but getting a depression can hit everyone and it's not a choice or your own fault.
@ShaeNielson Sure it is. Humans need things beyond food and water to stay alive. Human interaction, love, and intimacy are all important for human survival. That's why babies are given time alone to lie on their mother naked after birth, for that skin to skin intimacy. Studies and medical case studies have shown over and over again that a person who is cut off from human contact will die simply because their body shutdowns and they lose the will to live. There's no medical treatment for that because it's not a medical issue.
There other causes of depression, but that's the main one. People choose not to be social and thus they never get the human contact they need and become depressed. That's their own fault. We've more medical technology than ever before, but more cases of depression than ever before. Most of the time it's not medical, is the poor life decisions you've made.
That is not at all what you said in your first statement, where you merely claimed getting more sleep or eating a carrot once in a while could cure depression. You do know some people are lonely not because they choose to be, but because they have no one. Maybe they have poor social skills or they have a job where they don't interact with people much or so. And did you consider people with (social) anxiety? Or just people who prefer being alone but still become depressed? Lots of very social people with a lot of friends develop depressions, too, it's not just a question about getting out more, as you ignorantly claim. Some people really do make an effort but fail to build a social network, are they just idiots who made poor life decisions? Sure must be nice living in la-la land..
I would agree with everything except with the "it will pass" thing being bad. I mean... if I can't reassure them that it will pass, what else am I supposed to say? If anything at all? If even that is not permissible then dealing with depressed people is like walking on eggshells.
I linked a take at the end about what you should do when dealing with one. :) Yes, I know they're fragile but not everything said is bad. You may be saying it with the greatest intentions and that's what we want the most, is for someone to care about us.
Wow, are there really people who say this kind of things to people with depression? How much do you have to lack in the common sense department to do that
From my experience of depression, if you want to comfort someone with depression... just hold their hands, sit beside them without saying anything or give a hug. Stay with them without saying anything.
it was one of my closest friends. He wasn't offended because I didn't make a big deal about it and most if it was said before he disclosed his diagnosis and upon hearing of his diagnosis, I immediately changed my tune and was supportive. He's doing absolutely wonderful now.
@ShaeNielson You clearly thought to jump on my answer without any real understanding of what i meant, you see this is what is meant by assuming too quickly and making an ass of yourself, The question states "Things you should never say to someone struggling with depression" my answer clearly says what NO one should say to someone struggling with depression,. you just totally made a fool of yourself without even understanding i would never say those words, i was answering the question with something you SHOULD NEVER SAY, now go find someone else to take your bad day feelings out on.
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Very interesting Take, I agree with your points, depression should not be ignored, some of us know what it feels like.
Thank you for reading.
You're welcome ;)
Thanks for this, I've been having a really really rough time with mine lately
No problem. :)
Why the fuck would someone downvote this comment?
Have no idea
Sometimes depression is medical, but most of the times it is due to poor life choices. Choosing not to get proper sleep, choosing not to eat right, choosing not to be social with others, choosing to watch TV instead of study for a promotion or hit the gym. You may not be choosing to feel depress, but you're choosing to do the things that make you depressed.
There is a difference in "feeling depressed" and having a depression. You can feel depressed from eating wrong or not getting enough sleep, but getting a depression can hit everyone and it's not a choice or your own fault.
@ShaeNielson Basically what Shae said.
@ShaeNielson Sure it is. Humans need things beyond food and water to stay alive. Human interaction, love, and intimacy are all important for human survival. That's why babies are given time alone to lie on their mother naked after birth, for that skin to skin intimacy. Studies and medical case studies have shown over and over again that a person who is cut off from human contact will die simply because their body shutdowns and they lose the will to live. There's no medical treatment for that because it's not a medical issue.
There other causes of depression, but that's the main one. People choose not to be social and thus they never get the human contact they need and become depressed. That's their own fault. We've more medical technology than ever before, but more cases of depression than ever before. Most of the time it's not medical, is the poor life decisions you've made.
That is not at all what you said in your first statement, where you merely claimed getting more sleep or eating a carrot once in a while could cure depression. You do know some people are lonely not because they choose to be, but because they have no one. Maybe they have poor social skills or they have a job where they don't interact with people much or so. And did you consider people with (social) anxiety? Or just people who prefer being alone but still become depressed? Lots of very social people with a lot of friends develop depressions, too, it's not just a question about getting out more, as you ignorantly claim.
Some people really do make an effort but fail to build a social network, are they just idiots who made poor life decisions? Sure must be nice living in la-la land..
I would agree with everything except with the "it will pass" thing being bad. I mean... if I can't reassure them that it will pass, what else am I supposed to say? If anything at all? If even that is not permissible then dealing with depressed people is like walking on eggshells.
I linked a take at the end about what you should do when dealing with one. :) Yes, I know they're fragile but not everything said is bad. You may be saying it with the greatest intentions and that's what we want the most, is for someone to care about us.
Or when people deny that you have depression at all... like shut the fuck up lol
Exactly.
One more
"If you try to hurt yourself i will leave you."
That's the worst.
This is brilliant. As someone with severe clinical depression, thank you.
Glad you liked it. :)
Wow, are there really people who say this kind of things to people with depression? How much do you have to lack in the common sense department to do that
There are bad people in the world
"You wouldn't tell a happy person that they aren't allowed to be happy because someone has it better, so why say the opposite?" -RainbowFanGirl
My new favorite quote
Haha thank you :)
its not funny to feel depressed... the few examples you listed are very true
overall.. good take
Thank you
you're welcomed
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From my experience of depression, if you want to comfort someone with depression... just hold their hands, sit beside them without saying anything or give a hug. Stay with them without saying anything.
Yes, you get it.
As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, this take is awesome.
Thank you :)
There are times when you don't even comprehend why you are so sad.
It is awful...
Sometimes you can be sad without reason.
Good take. I sympathise with anyone that has depression.
Thank you
Guilty as charged. I've said most of those things to "depressed" folks before.
And what happened?
it was one of my closest friends. He wasn't offended because I didn't make a big deal about it and most if it was said before he disclosed his diagnosis and upon hearing of his diagnosis, I immediately changed my tune and was supportive. He's doing absolutely wonderful now.
Well glad you had a change of heart and that's he's doing better.
Kinda of the same kinda thing as number 2 on that this
"You have nothing to be depressed about"
Oh, let me just go and turn the depression switch to off shall i. What an inconsiderate person...
Sadly... I've heard every one of those when I was dealing with major depression, and still am, tho now it ain't that bad anymore
Me too and it isn't fun
what a beautiful post. thank you. <3
I'm glad you enjoyed :)
Basically, you don't say anything.
Just hug them and stroke their hair.
Yes. That is one way to deal with them.
Pull yourself together and get on with it.
You clearly have no concept of mental illness, must be nice living in la-la land.
@ShaeNielson You clearly thought to jump on my answer without any real understanding of what i meant, you see this is what is meant by assuming too quickly and making an ass of yourself, The question states "Things you should never say to someone struggling with depression" my answer clearly says what NO one should say to someone struggling with depression,. you just totally made a fool of yourself without even understanding i would never say those words, i was answering the question with something you SHOULD NEVER SAY, now go find someone else to take your bad day feelings out on.
That's not how mental illness works
I answered your question don't jump on the bandwagon you asked what not to say i answered so there you have it.
Did you even read what i wrote? i said you shouldn't say things like pull yourself together i swear you people love drama here, ridiculous.
I did read it so calm down. I should have added it to the list.
It's basically like "Life goes on deal with it."