Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Mental Illness

First of all let me start of by saying that I don't blame neither want to offend the people that have said these things to others in the past. This MyTake is an just a good advise for the future. These are the things that you should never say to someone that is diagnosed with mentall illness. (I tried to make it as general as possible)

1) 'It's all in your head.'

Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Mental Illness

Don't you think we know?

But this doesn't make it any less of a serious illness and it defiantly doesn't make us feel any better.

For you it's just a something in our heads,for us it's our whole point of view of everything in life.

When someone says something like this,they think that it help the person realize that reality isn't like that..But what it actually does is make us even more angry with the world.

2)'Be positive!'

Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Mental Illness

Do you really think that WE HAVEN'T TRIED? And guess what...It didn't work.

When you tell someone to just shake off their mental illness, it's like you deny how serious their emotional pain is.

Especially for people with mental health issues like depression 'cheering up' isn't easy at all.

So being positive isn't an exactly option for all of us,and we don't appriciate you reminding us.

3)'It could be worse.'

Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Mental Illness

This is theoritically true.

.

.

.

But as true and honest this might be the person you are talking to is going through an emotionally hard time.Telling someone with mental illnes that some people have it even worst you only make them feel guilty and ashamed of their feelings.

And the only result will be,them never talk to you again about the problems.

4)'Just get over it'

Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Mental Illness

Excellent advise.

But just let me tell you it doesn't work exactly that way.

If we could just snap out of it one day and leave everything behind we would happily to do it,but yeah it doesn't work.

So if you want to comment something like that,it's better not to comment at all.

Like seriously,if this comes in your mind shut it.

5)'You dissapoint me.'

Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Mental Illness

'You dissapoint me.' it's probably the worst thing you can say to any person,but saying to someone that suffers from mentall illness it's a whole new level. Every single day of our lives there is a battle going in our heads,the last thing we need is someone telling us that we aren't good enough to win it or that we dissapoint him/her because we keep on loosing.

You don't help someone by telling him that,you push him down even more.

6)'You don't look like you have a problem.'

Things You Should Never Say to Someone With Mental Illness

*One picture thousand words*

-END


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Agree 100%. I've experienced at least 4 of these personally. When I've been very ill.

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  • Saying “get over it” and “it’s all in your head” to someone with a mental illness is like giving a blind person a pot of spectacles hoping that they’ll gain sight again.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • People may get Insulted if you would Say... Please, Seek Help.
    However, They need to Realize you are only Trying to help, but I believe First, They Need to Admit they have a Problem and a Hang up.
    Beautifully Done, hun. xxoo

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  • I agree that all of these are really bad to say to someone who's struggling. They're really not helping by saying those things, if anything they're just making things worse. Another thing that annoys me is when someone who clearly has never struggled with mental illness says "I understand". I get that it's obviously not as flat-out rude as the above mentioned comments, but it just rubs me the wrong way when someone who obviously doesn't understand says that they do. I'd much rather hear them say "I'm here for you" or "I'm listening", than pretend that they can even begin to wrap their mind around what it's truly like. And more often than not, the "I understand" is followed by a "but..." and then a combination of the above mentioned comments. Like "I understand, but try to be more positive" or "I understand, but it could be worse". Even if it isn't followed by a "but", it comes off as fake when the person hasn't struggled themselves. Like don't say you understand if you've never suffered from a mental illness at some point. If you have, then it's ok.

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    • What should you say when the person you're talking to says something obviously incorrect?

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What Guys Said 28

  • I don't think I have mental illness... unless depression and anxiety count.
    Whenever I try and do schoolwork, my brain literally shuts down, and I think the majority of my problem is either laziness, or the fact that school has just gotten too hard, or (this may not be it but I'm just gonna guess) the fact that my mother constantly puts me down because she thinks I'm not doing good in life today is the same way she treated me, although it was more or less different. She accused me for stuff I didn't even do, and I got smacked for it. I would be tortured just to get math problems right. Such issues would include my mother putting me in a closet for an hour because I looked in my notebook that I wasn't supposed to look in (like bitch wtf I need to look in this book to refresh my memory) or making me lift heavy books in the air while standing on one foot just to learn multiplication. Twice when I was eleven she threatened to shoot me, and even told my dad to get that gun that was hanging on the bedroom. Of course my dad wouldn't get it because he loved me too much and knew that my mother was having a bipolar froot loop fit...
    Anyway.
    She treated me like this until I was like 13.
    The physical pain stopped. The torture stopped.
    But I would continue to get screamed at for things I didn't do, not helping her because she thought I was sitting criss cross applesauce across from her when I was actually in my bedroom trying to have a peaceful day (I was 15 that time.) She would continue to tell me to shut up because she was so pissed at me for whatever I did or didn't do wrong.
    Then when me and my mom moved out she made me keep my mouth shut to everybody about what was going on (I wasn't allowed to tell my Aunt Vic or Uncle Rob what was going on with my Uncle Rob's kids; they were pulling my pants down and farting on my face and treating me like a retard, despite the fact that they don't know that it was all a work of lousy parenting and lack of effort to get me to socialize.
    Then when me and my mom had to stay in a hotel she made me keep my mouth shut about most of our arguments to people, and would even make me shut up whenever I brought up what she was doing wrong. Then during the first two weeks we got our apartment (from the day we left the hotel to two weeks after living in the apartment) she yelled at me for every single thing, yelling at me to shut up, making me feel like shit.
    So if I have an illness then it is her fault.
    So I wouldn't be insensitive to them

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  • Generally, If someone is wealthy or attractive, and they haven't had their whole family die or some shit, i think thats just cause to disgregard them has having a valid mental ilness.

    How bad can their lives truly be...

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    • That has nothing to do with mental illness. A lot of wealthy people have problems.

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    • @zagor the "issues" of the rich and good looking are entirely down to their own fault and causation, and have easy fixes.

      The reason money isn't giving them happiness is because they're using it like idiots. The reason good looking women have trust issues is because they live under a constant umbrella of egotism and vanity, and naturally only meet their male counterparts, who being vain themselves, constantly cheat and ditch because they always feel they can do better.

      There is absolutely nothing in this world a rich or good looking person can't achieve. They can literally do anything. If after that they still have a mental illness, the humans who are the absolute epitome of our race, well that just says how utterly futile the rest of us are.

    • OK, well write back when you're 30 and tell us all how life should be.

  • and never say
    no one will ever love you

    or you're an embarrassment to your family

    your mother couldn't get an abortion cause she was too poor, that is the cruelest who would ever have the heart to say such a thing,

    and worst of all a mentally retarded thing like you will be shut out of society,

    we all need to accept people regardless of their faults
    because in the eyes of God we are all imperfect,

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  • dont worry it could be worse its all in your head i can help you to get over with it thats the proper way to demotivate someone if u wanna do it xd

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  • I guess the only safe thing to do is never associate or talk with someone who is mentally ill?

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  • It's always a mine field, I always try to get them the proper help they need. Sometimes well intentioned people make things worse.

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  • Well yes indeed every single one of these is something you should not say to people with metal health issues...
    And yet somehow almost invariably most people say at least one of these

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  • I have one:

    "Here's your new gun permit, Sir/Ma'am."

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    • Unfortunately, since the Hungerford massacre we're not allowed to have guns in England. My father had to turn all his guns in to the police. Anyway, I couldn't've got a gun licence under the old rules, my father had to prove he was sane before he got a gun licence, my psychiatrist would never say I'm sane. It's a potty I can't have a gun, I want to go to Mayfare to kill The Duke Of Westminster and all his posh rich bastards chums, I hate rich people.

  • Can you write a take on things to tell...
    It will help me when my snapped brother begins to talk again with me..

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  • Good points- I'd be very sensitive to anyone with a mental illness.

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  • What the hell... The more I think about it the more this makes no damn sense at all...

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  • Unfortunately you can't control what comes out of another person's mouth, I do believe people should not let what others say ruin your day.

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  • What kinds of things should you say to that kind of person?

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  • bad words to tell people yes. instead of saying anything just be empathetic and listen.

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  • i got some very serious mental ilnesses and i am happy ;DDDDDDD

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  • "Are you crazy?"

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  • I just try to be there for them.

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  • be there for them dont judge them

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  • Interesting myTake

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  • lmao I've been told all of those things

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What Girls Said 16

  • Pity about so many spelling and grammatical mistakes.
    I am a qualified licenced therapist, so I know how sensitive mentally ill people can be. But they - and other amateurs - are not the best people to go to for advice on this.

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  • All of these are something that I would never say to someone mentally ill. It's a time where you should help them get up and move forward. If you have nothing to say. say something positive, anything positive, make it known that at least you care. There isn't a single immediate solution. Fixing a mental illness takes time, and in that time, say something positive to the other person. It would help them feel better about themselves and their day.

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    • I'm so sorry. I was at that point when I found out my wife was having an affair. You deserve someone far better as a best friend and a boyfriend. I discovered who my real friends and family are. I now have a good support structure. I hope you are doing much better now

    • @jss123 Oh, thank you so much :)

  • Yeah those are not really something I would say... I think if you are with someone that has mental illness, is best to be normal. If they want to tell you, then you listen, if they don't want to bring it up, don't dig.

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  • I have suffered from depression and OCD. What you have said is so true. I hate when people say things like this to me. Something else that really pisses me off is when ignorant people that know what is wrong with me make fun of me then tell me that I'm imagining things when I confront them. Makes me sick!

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  • Yep.! Sometimes these golden words of people is effin irritating... -.-

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  • I do have to say, I'm guilty of #3. But only because it's helped me in the past. It could be worse. I know other people have had it worse than me, and that helps me cope, knowing that they managed it.

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  • Absolutely! And also blaming someone for their depression. My brother is depressed and unmotivated, and my dad tells him he's lazy. It's awful.

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  • It's excruciating to even think about what those people are going through on a daily basis.

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  • Nice Take

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  • "You're not wrapped tight."

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  • I feel like this is only for exgremely emotionally unstable people.. not everyone with a mental illness is sooo touchy feely and a lot of people without a mental illnesses can't take those simple phrases either

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  • I think it helps to be a little understanding, but treat them like normal people

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  • When I tried committing suicide my boyfriend was there when I was hospitalized. But after getting out he abandoned me. My best friend was angry at me and told me I was selfish. And my boyfriend told me my thoughts of dying were disgusting. I really didn’t have a support system. So I totally understand 100% about this take. I know truly I just wanted positive surroundings and people who listen and uplift me. Not remind me how much disappointed in myself I already am.

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    • How do you help someone in your situation, my girlfriend has depresseion and suicidal thoughts. I want to help but she never wants to talk about it and doesn't want to see me often because she's ashamed/doesnt want me to see her that way.
      How do I brake the barrier cause she is really stubborn about it.

  • Don't make a deal out of them being mentally ill

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  • You disappoint me is the worst thing to hear.

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  • I find the more you indulge people with mental health problems the worse they get.

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    • But is there any scientific evidence to back that up?

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    • Did she?

      Could you be a little more specific?

    • @goaded the media has indulged her and she grows worse by the day.
      No one in their right mind would do a study on anything that may reveal anything negative.

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