What It's Really Like Living With Autism

[MrShinyPants]

Now, I will warn you, this will be a long take, because you can't really gloss over something like mental disabilities, but I will do my best to make it short yet detailed. This is my first take, so bear with me and any mistakes I make because I am not sure how to add videos or pictures etc..

For those of you who do not know me, my name is Eric and yes, I have Autism and OCD and Tourette Syndrome. I will do another take on living with Tourettes and O.C.D. For now I will explain what its like living with Autism to shed understanding on those whom have it.

Each case of Autism is different, some are more severe, some are mild, but every case has as many common factors as it does differentiates. Firstly what is Autism you may ask. Here is a video explaining the bases of it.

Over the years I have noticed that Tourettes, autism, OCD, restless muscle syndrome and many other disabilities and disorders have many, many common factors. I have spent much time researching my disabilities and brain chemistry and the trying to figure out the root cause of them.

Reason being is trying to figure out a cure or blocker at the very least, partly because of my OCD making me.

I am fairly close yet still have much to figure out. What makes me so qualified to find a cure or blocker when I am not a doctor or scientist? Easy answer, its because I live with it everyday and know what to look for.

If I ever find a way to help it I will share my research with pharmaceutical companies, for now I will tell you about my daily life with Autism.

It is difficult, very difficult to be around many people, black Friday is the worst. Being around large groups, people of 6 or more, makes me want to withdraw into myself and make me flee away.

Except on Black Friday.

The first time and last time I went to a Black Friday sales event, I had to leave after 40 minutes. Feeling the agitation from everyone, sensing their anger, all of them being inconsiderate, being greedy, selfish and for a nicer word buttheads. It gave me urges to start swinging away and hitting people for them acting like that and for frustration of the way it was affecting my Autism. In short, I had to use all of my self control and force myself out of there before I did anything I would regret.

That being said, violence makes me violent. Growing up my mom had said spankings only seemed to enrage me and over the years I've noticed I can not watch street fight videos or news reports or cop shows about people fighting or hurting others or hurting animals because it gave me almost uncontrollable urges to find them and beat the snot out of them for fighting and being stupid or hurting innocent people and animals.

I can be at times harsh on people because of the autism. It has made me expect things to be a certain way and want it that way only. I have to remind myself not to be too critical of others because sometimes it just can't be the way i expect it to be.

For example, I uphold; honesty, loyalty, integrity, hard work, morals, respect very highly and deeply. If i meet or see someone who doesn't hold one of those things I tend to be harsh on them, not judging wise but my views on that person. Now I know not everyone has those codes, but there are times I tend to forget and strongly dislike those people who don't have those.

I am not fond of being around people, moat of the time I prefer being around myself and too much interaction with a certain person irritates the hell out of me. I am not anti social, I just prefer to be with myself or those I am close to.

I do enjoy being with family and close friends, just not with those I am not close to.

I can not learn written instructions easily, it takes much time and struggle. In school I had teachers who would get mad at me because of that and treat me crappily. I can easily learn hands on but most school work is on paper or chalkboard. I had to be in special ed classes to try and be helped to catch up with other students. I have even had to have speech classes because the teachers didn't like how I pronounced certain words and was even called names because I couldn't speak properly and understand written instructions.

Because of my disabilities I have been called many a name by teachers, other kids, other parents, even my own brothers and even grandpa at one point. I think the worst was being called, demon spawn and devil monster.

There are many more things I go through with autism, but I shall end it here for now, if you want to know more, feel free to inbox me. Do not worry, my autism has gotten better over the years, but I still deal with it. Thank you for bearing with my first take and its length and mess ups.

Stay tuned for my other ones in the future, I will do my best for an improvement, next time I will have no distractions while writing it. 😃

[bvictor]

I REALLY need to stop you at "Mental Disability". For one Autism IS NOT a Mental Disability. Autism is a Neurological Disorder. That said depending on how one with Autism is raised one CAN suffer Mental Disabilities and Learning Disability but this is a result in upbringing and not the result of Autism itself. Autism while classified as a disorder can be debated in it's classification. The reason it is a disorder is because of the relative understanding of how an Autistic person processes information compared to that of a "normal" person. But we are beginning to understand more of what a unique gift Autism can be. Just because one processes things differently doesn't mean one is broken but rather one has a new perspective in viewing things outside the understanding of normal. This is what normal people can't seem to comprehend. For that reason normal people feel the need to attach labels and treat autistic people different differently. So please while I understand and respect your efforts to spread the word about Autism to get more people to understand. Let's not spread the ignorance along with that message.

[bvictor]

By the way I have ADHD. My son has Autism. To some extent being that both are Neurological disorders I can relate to your ordeal. Just like I have a better understanding of what is going on in my son's head more than his mother does. Feeling an emotions while well appreciated seem to be last on my priority. I have more interest in understanding things rather than relating with them. This I can completely relate with. One thing that I differ from on the ASD is my ability to tolerate others, slight understanding of social cues and the effort to communicate. I will say this though. What you described about sensing anger and reflecting is nothing limited to you as a person with ASD. This affects anyone who can empathize including NT people. Trust me I hate people who act stupid just as much as the next guy. But many NT people are ignorant and hypocrites. While they say they hate the injustices of society they turn around and create the same injustices. So you are not alone in that feeling.

[MrShinyPants]

I know all about mental disorders and neurological dissorders and all that jazz, I've grown up with most of them, reason why i label my autism as a mental disorder is because it has been treated as such when i was growing up, mental dissorder meaning an abnormality your mental psyche or brain creates due to a dna strand with odd coding or from a foreign antibody contaminating a part of the brain during devolpment or even post birth. Also I never said autism is a bad thing, yeah it can be tedious having, but im glad i have it, further more I have noticed those with mental dissabilities and disorders etc.. Have a high then average iq, more so then people think, the problem is the one with it may not be able to communicate properly and may come off as lower intelligence when they are actually quite intelligent

[MotorbikeBoyMatty]

Love this!!! I have Autism too, just wish I had someone to talk about it with and help with things as well as the bi-products that often come with it such as OCD, ADHD, Epilepsy, Schizophrenia etc

[MrShinyPants]

Exactly, most people don't realize you can't just have only one disability, 90% of the time they are accompanied by multiple other disorders, which has led me to conclusion, the major suspect behind it is a specific brain chemical that the brain releases that it normally doesn't and it effects the rest of the brain, some foreign antibody chemical. Thank you, if you'd like I am here if you ever want to borrow an ear

[MotorbikeBoyMatty]

great post dude, and yeah I might pop a message sometime, definitely following you though

[MrShinyPants]

Added both of your profiles, wasn't sure which one you use

[Anonymous]

I imagine it can make dating very difficult

[MrShinyPants]

Kind of, the OCD males it harder to date, most of the time id be sitting there making sure everything's straight and in order and not in odd numbers lol, drives me nuts😃

[MotorbikeBoyMatty]

Dude, you should add me on facebook and have a look at my bedroom haha, everything has to be centered, in line, dust free and everything :D my name on facebook is Matty Giblin if you wanna add me haha

[MrShinyPants]

@MotorbikeBoyMatty yeah i even have to park straight lol

[MrShinyPants]

I think i added you, not sure have to recheck again on fb