Depression is by definition is "feelings of severe despondency and dejection" but its more than that you feel trapped, scared and most of the time you won't ask for help so here is what i define depression as.
"A state of mind that involves dominating sadness or feelings of helplessness or just general negativity"
Living as someone who is depressed is a completely different thing from not being depressed, while your friends laugh among each other, you feel sad or on the rare occasion you are happy with them it dosent last long, you question if something is wrong with you because you arnt happy
Long story short being depressed is shit and your reading this because you want to know how to help them so here have 5things you can do to make their life a little easier.
1. Actually notice they are depressed
9 times out of 10 someone who is depressed is not going to ask for help, they will often hide it hense so many quotes are online about "wearing a mask" , so instead of waiting for someone to come crying too you asking for help actually look for them, they will likely be the person you last expected, for example a good friend of mine has many friends, great artist and a really funny guy popular two, earlier this year he told me he had depression and was bullied, as i said the last person you would expect.
Someone who is depressed will often seem slightly off, for example slightly out of place but not always but they will often not laugh as much, smile less basically look like a introvert but not act like them unless they are a introvert. For example they probably will be at the edge of a room not the center.
2. Try to understand WHY they are depressed
So you managed to figure out who is depressed now figure out why. For example are they bullied, lacking friends, bad grades, beaten at home they are just some of infinite causes for someone to be depressed for example among many guys they pick on each other not meaning any harm but some people take offence for example if it is always the same guy and he doesn't show signs of depression he still might be depressed. A lot of the time you won't be with them always even if you are family, and they will often not tell anyone why they are depressed apart from people they trust for example again among guys they often won't "snitch" on their bully . For example the popular kid with dozens of friends can still feel alone because the friends might not actually care about him.
3. Talk to them
So you found out why they are depressed or didn't but if you want to help you actually have to understand it from their perspective say someone is minor bullying them they could feel trapped or worried about being bullied "again" if they were bullied in the past. A good example is someone being bullied in primary school , excluded from "friend groups" and verbally attacked or even physically and then someone starts teasing them in high school, they are going to feel scared of history repeating and over-react. So try see it from their perspective.
4. Try and help them cope
Basically just let them rant to you, listen to them and actually care, even though they often won't talk about it often just be their for them for example say you see someone picking on them, tell the person to fuck off and go see if your friend is okay and even if they don't talk to you about it you helped them even if they dont show it it will of meant a lot to them.
5. Just be their genuine friend
Often the best thing to help someone who is depressed is just to be a good friend they will push almost everyone away, so just be their for them, don't push for them to open up about it just be their for them genuinely it might take time but eventually they will open up and then actually care for them, be their and if you leave now all you are going to do is push them further down along depression, so just be their for them, and once their depression is gone you will probably have the best friend you will ever get.
Long story short it isn't magic to help someone who is depressed just knowing who it is and being a good person.
(had no idea where to put hashtags so i put them here)
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