Things, that mostly only REALLY depressed people will understand and why they are trapped in depression (detailed)

Roses are red, violets are blue. My heart is dead, I don't know what to do.

Clinical depression is not so simple or as the other conventional diseases like for example a cold.

It is much more complex than that.

Catch a cold and the things one would do to get cured ASAP include staying home, warm, drinking herbal tea with honey & lemon, swallow some antibiotics, sleep longer...and in a day or 2 all will be fine again.

Depression is nothing like that. The hardcore depressed people have figured that long ago.

Ironically some have gone as far as seeing for example unfortunate events as laughful or humorous. That's how twisted a mind can get due to long term depression. This turns as one of the few sources of joy they may perceive in desperation. I know I sometimes had it.

So there is being sad - I describe it as the usual and normal cycle of emotions. We all get sad at one point or another. This one may be "lifted" - at least at a 100 times easier rate compared to depression.

Things, that mostly only REALLY depressed people will understand and why they are trapped in depression (detailed)

Then there is being depressed - I describe it as being unable to defeat the sadness. Possibly for quite a long while. It feels not just sad but quite horrible.

Things, that mostly only REALLY depressed people will understand and why they are trapped in depression (detailed)

Then there is being trapped in a major and suicidal depression, that just won't go away. It shrouds the emotions, impairs movements and thinking, makes us lethargic, makes the victim feel physically and psychologically disintegrated. This is the highly destructive level, which goes as far as committing suicide.

Things, that mostly only REALLY depressed people will understand and why they are trapped in depression (detailed)

Here are the keypoints, that mostly only the seriously depressed folks will understand and can relate to.

"Aw come on. Just stop being sad. it's just stupid thoughts. Think of something else!" = another step towards alienation

That is the number one rude thing to tell them. If only they knew...

It's not coaching minds or helping or anything. It's isolating them even further.

These clouds in the minds are staying. Have you ever tried to extinguish a fire by yelling at it?

Whoever said anything like "I'm a psychologist/I have studied psychology [...]" were not able to help

We have seen false hopes so often, that we can identify them early on. These words mean nothing to us. It's like a false rescue alert for us.

For a similar example of how we perceive it I can bring up the fact how the media and news stations back in early 2000s claimed, that violent video games are making gamers violent amok runners, who go out and kill. The reporters on TV blamed video games for the cause of deadly amok runs. It was a somewhat popular belief back then - in my experience at least. It was "big news" in Germany and the work of the USK.

Yeah. This is how the psychologists or former students of psychology sound to us.

Official psychologists in hospitals may have been consulted with also. The outcomes didn't change.

"Do X, Y, Z and the depressions will go away. (It has helped me)"

These common everyday life things like eating healthy, exercising, taking care of yourself, hanging out with friends (if only we had them hahaha), listening to (cheerful) music and so on... The thing is, that we either already do it or we did them but the results are the same.

And just because it has helped someone doesn't mean it will help everyone.

We get it - people are trying to help somehow but they couldn't.

For a similar example of how we perceive it I can describe these words being to us like an internet ad banner, that has these words written on it "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THIS IS HOW I MADE $1000 IN A WEEK AND YOU CAN TOO. NO EDUCATION REQUIRED. NO WORKING EXPERIENCE NEEDED."

People don't listen or don't want to understand

We end up expending our valuable and limited energy explaining to people, who won't even bother listening to us when they ask us about our depression.

People also don't like complexity. At least normally. Depression is complex.

Usually this ends up with us not wanting to talk about it just to keep things as they are now before they get any worse.

There is no cure - except for death

Because if there was a cure or vaccine for depression like there is a cure/vaccine for chickenpox, then virtually nobody would be depressed. Just think about it: Are there many people suffering from chickenpox today? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), about 9,000 people are hospitalized for chickenpox and about 90 people die from the disease each year. Meanwhile there are almost 350 million people suffering from depression globally.

For the depressed, the depression seemingly stops only after their life stops. We have realized that.

Everything possible was tried to combat the depression

And there was nothing too different before or afterwards. Except for a few substances to mitigate the severity at least temporarily (more on that a bit later).

There is no escape.

Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run. The depression follows us everywhere.

It may stay out for a while when we enjoy something, that we have craved like a vacation at the beach for example. But it will wait for our return.

Some describe it as a dark tunnel network labyrinth with no exit.

Depression shaming

It's a thing. We may be insulted for "not wanting to stop being depressed". But then again people get shamed for anything, so it's not that surprising.

In a way some depressed people just become stronger and live with it

Stronger as in dealing daily with depression, avoid social situations that are likely going to trigger the "depressed talk", that will lead to any other keypoint above (it is a vicious cycle! and only we may put a stop somewhere in it.). In our experience dealing with depression alone is the most effective way quite often.

It is like living scarred or kind of impaired. We just learn how to live with it and how to deal with it. We might never get cured of that nasty mental disease.

Substance consumption

I can't call it substance abuse. Whether it be drinking alcohol or swallowing some pills, some have the nerve to say, that this is the reason we are depressed when in reality sometimes it's actually the other way around. Substances are just the stronger reliefs. These may help to a certain extend but that's as far as we can get in today's times.

In other words: If we were not depressed, we wouldn't get drunk or swallow these pills. It's kind of that simple, really. Sometimes it's one of the things, that is holding us together.

These feelings are inevitable

We won't even try to fight it because there is no use or difference for us in doing so. It unsurprisingly to us always finds a way to makes us weary, tired and done. Which leads me to...

...It feels like our fate is sealed

Sometimes it seems like it is our fate and our destiny and we have accepted it for the sake of having at least a bit of peace.

Having no future, perspective or reasons to live at all

This is the toughest of all.

We feel like we don't belong here or have to be alive. We feel, that our only natural value is being fertilizer. This happens when we are broke and have either a low paying job or no job at all. Ironically this problem feeds the depression and in reverse.

We sought ways of getting up in life but none was found. No betterment options are available.

Finally we ask ourselves "Why am i here? Why am i alive? What am i?". The answers collect but the accepted answer is something like "Because 2 people were too horny one time to keep their legs closed" or "No reason. I'm just here and that's it". Not, that a purpose in our lives matters (stoicism).

And this is the prison holding us in a cell together with depression.

Related to the next keypoint...

One of the main cause of depression is not living up to one's own expectations or wishes

Even the fighter types of the depressed don't have the resources (and money!) to get out of depression.

Nothing matters

Some just turn stoic, apathetic, cold and unemphatic due to us having our big problems. Nein, it's not, that we don't have the new iPhone. It's something much more fundamental at this point.

There may be 100 problems (corruption, starvation, inflation, potentially war threats) but none of them matter to specifically us. We are already almost dead ourselves. Which also leads me to...

Is life an illusion?

We are dead inside but we are not dead. But we certainly don't feel alive either. We feel like walking bodies with some bodily functions. We don't have a soul. It may make us feel and act like robots.

We question life and whether we really are alive or just moving bodies.

---

But how do I know?

Things, that mostly only REALLY depressed people will understand and why they are trapped in depression (detailed)

Take it from me, battling depression for over 12 years long and still on it (at 24 years at the time of writing this).

I believe patients know the diseases in first hand while doctors (who possibly didn't had those diseases themselves) may have tricks for known cures - and in this case depression (or cancer) currently has no known super effective cure for the extremely depressed. Depression is still undergoing active research by the scientists.

I conclude this article now with one related video here:

Thanks for reading!


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Most Helpful Girls

  • Toxic Positivity, ah, don't you just love it? Oh just be happy, what do you lack in life that you're so sad, OMG stop being so sensitive, stop thinking so hard, it's all in your mind... Boy if I knew how to get out of it 'in my mind' I swear I would have done it ages ago and not only that, I would actually share online how I could really get out of it :") And majority of people claiming to be educated about psychology prolly just scrolled through some bogus article on hulululu. com and that's all.

    I miss the days when I used to smile and laugh so much that people made a lot of negative comments like, I am acting like a dumb or immature person, also where I live it is 'shameless' for a girl to laugh so much 😂😂😂 the shameless me was so much better than now people commenting how I always look so serious and upset.

    Even walking to the class feels like walking through fire now. For a student that got straight A's last year and world's highest score in one subject, it's quite a sharp fall that now I even struggle to pass in any class test, next exam is in May, registration has already began and I still don't have any clue about 80% of the syllabus. I don't even think I'm gonna get a C in any subject. Teachers are already commenting on how much I've worsened as a student. And I can't even tell them anything. People have absolutely no idea how damaging depression can be.

    People coming up with unsolicited advice only worsen everything. Makes me feel like nobody understands me.

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    • Exactly! Finally one of the affected of depression, who understands and relates. Not, that I want you or anybody to be affected by it.

      Perhaps earlier things weren't so bad for us to deal with and that might be why we may have been happier as toddlers? At least to you and me.

      Spot on with the people claiming to be educated about psychology 😂 I have yet to see a good psychologists. So far I've known only one okay psychologist personally but she moved :( She got me to try Trazodone. It has helped me in some way but it was not enough. And that's what she also said, anti-depressants on their own won't lift depression BUT it could help. Just my personal experience.

    • I'm seeing a counselor and she said that it will take her a good amount of time to get me better since she discovered that I have a lot, A LOT going on and she still needs a few more sessions to listen to all of it before she really understands what I really need. For a few months I have to see her every week. Lets see what happens.

  • 7d

    Sometimes it’s feeling nothing. Knowing life is slipping by and your not who you thought you’d be when you imagined yourself as a child and feeling so tired. Just wasting away and waiting for death. But also obsessing over the mysteries of life and wondering how anyone can go about their day being productive when we haven’t even figured out how we got here, or where we are going? Sitting and obsessing over these contemplations so much that eventually you just kinda shut it off until your just a blank stare in messy room

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Most Helpful Guys

  • The big lesson here is, don't talk to people who've never experienced what you're going through. They will not understand, and thus the advice they give will be of limited to no value. Try to find people who are experiencing similar things and find some common ground with them. I did this when my mom had cancer, and it was the best thing I ever did. People at work thought it was a joke, and I ended up getting fired from my job because I pushed this one son of a bitch into the wall for making a crack about my mother dying. So it's not worth it to even go there with them. It will cause you more grief than anything.

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    • Good lesson indeed! That's what I wrote as one of the keypoints.
      And I'm sorry to hear that you have experienced inconsiderate assholes cracking jokes like that.

    • It's tough to go through these life-changing episodes with no one to talk to about them who actually understands them. I found that out the hard way.

  • Good take, but I would like to add that it is important to distinguish clinical depression from depression as a symptom of another health condition, or as a result of grief or trauma.

    For example, depression can be a symptom of hypothyroidism, sleep apnea, or some syndromes.
    Personally, years ago, I was incorrectly diagnosed with depression. None of the treatments worked. Teins out I've had severe obstructive sleep apnea.

    The first day I started CPAP treatment for it, my depression literally disappeared overnight... LITERALLY!

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  • I don't want to seem like I'm complaining or bitching, so sorry if I come across that way.
    I've been living with it for years now always dropping down further day by day by day & no one noticed because I got good at hiding it when I wasn't on my own quite quickly & hid it for years I wanted to just lay there, do nothing, die by myself on my own terms but I got the dumb idea to hope & forced myself to go college for a year before going back to my decision.. There I found people just like me & I guess we've "pulled" eachother up a bit only one of the two was as far as I am but they have there reasons to stay & before meeting Reuther of them I cared for nothing, no one, hated myself, my family & everything I did & still do thinking it's a waste of energy that I'm a worthless waste of space.
    But I I wouldn't say changed my decision I still want to die but just not right now at least when I'm around them because of them I don't want to be a reason to make them down just because I decided to be selfish & end my suffering.
    Now I think I've grown I don't know what but I actually care about them, still not myself or anyone else but only them.
    When I'm not with them I'm hurting almost emotionless with the acception of despising myself.
    Again apologies if I'm being weird, bitchy or whatever. Just my take. Sorry.

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  • 5d

    I can't speak for other people's experiences, but in my own a lot of what you mentioned helped to manage my depression. Regular physical activity, speaking with a professional, and making good friends that I can share anything with were all vital to me digging my way out of my deepest points of depression. I dealt with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis at my lowest, I spent a year literally praying for God to kill me so I could be don't with this world. But I lived and found help. I saw myself as without value, so I was willing to take on hardships to make others experience less, I found that by easing the burdens of others I was doing something worthwhile. The number one thing that kept me from killing myself was the guilt over moving my internal pain onto my family, I may have hated them at times, but what right did I have to offload so much pain onto them. I know my experiences aren't the same as anyone else's, but I don't think anyone who struggles with depression has the same experience, and I'd love to help anyone who recognized their own experiences in mine. Depression never goes away, but with help and support it can get easier.

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  • Unpopular opinion: you are 100% responsible for yourself. Control your emotions or they will control you.

    Wallowing in your victimhood is not going to get you anywhere. Toughen up, plenty of people have persevered thorough unspeakable horrors that you can't even imagine, while you are complaining about a first world problem.

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    • He isn't Wallowing in his victim-hood, and he isn’t complaining ether. He is trying to help those who don't understand how it feels to be depressed. That it isn't something one can shake off nor is it necessarily a short lived problem, it can be a life time struggle. Sometimes it hurts physically as well as emotionally to make the choice to continue for another day. The Fact that he is still alive and willing to open himself up to complete strangers (some who are imbecilic asses that can’t comprehend what they read if they bothered to read it all) shows how truly tough he is.

      "Unpopular opinion: you are 100% responsible for yourself. Control your emotions or they will control you." He is accepting 100% responsible for himself. Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean they magical disappear it means you continue in spite of them.

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    • @CubsterShura You haven't been alive long enough to see how too much empathy warps society. America's First Amendment is actually quite unique in the first world.. you cannot even be incorrect about history and state that the Holocaust had not happened in a lot of Europe.. it's a crime to do so. Why? Feelings.. offense.. too much empathy, etc. The marketplace of ideas should always be open to even the most wrong ideas.

      Too much empathy will also produce people who get depressed over not be able to find a girlfriend like the poster and then instead of finding practical solutions to get better they will justify alcoholism and surrender their will to their feelings. You overly compassionate people are enabling him.. tough love is the answer here. People have to learn to sink or swim, because you won't be able to provide them what's a flotation device every time they start drowning.

      Like I said, if the depressed person is doing absolutely everything in their power to properly manage their condition, then I will have sympathy for them.

    • @CubsterShura Also, it is humanity working as a group logically that enables us to survive natural selection so well. We must do our best to check our primal, emotional irrationalities. Some level of eugenics through breeding programs will eventually have to become a reality.

  • I was severely depressed for 9 years, I remember having my first suicidal thought at the age of 12. I was on antidepressants for the last 2 years. And I went off of antidepressants in May, and I haven’t felt depressed since being off. I believe the antidepressants balanced out my brain even though at the time of being on the medication I felt like it was making me worse

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    • Were you capable of experiencing emotion during your depression? And if you got out of it, did you regain that ability (if it was lost)?
      I mean really feel, you know, with your whole body

  • 7d

    Depression isn’t an illness.. it’s a war; everyone who suffers is a soldier, battling day and night in a war most people don’t even want to acknowledge. It’s a pain unlike any other, and unless you’ve experienced it for yourself, you’ll never understand.

    Keep fighting, everyone.. no matter how worthless you feel, no matter how dark it gets.. there will always be a light. We just need to keep searching.

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  • The best thing you can do is accept it, live with it, watch it from another prospective. The problem nowday is that we are constantly told that we have to be happy, happiness, joy, smile, and we forgot that we can enjoy melancholy, we can enjoy one of those sad rainy days. We just have to find a different prospective.

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  • I think there are a lot of people who would actually really benefit from being more social, eating correctly, and working out. Having said that, I understand that there are individuals who can still do all that, and feel no positive outcome from it as there is a chemical imbalance in their brain which can only really be treated through medication. Hope you feel better man.

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  • The problem is that it's so subjective that on one can 100% understand even the physical pain I have can't be expressed but it doesn't mean there are no people or something that can make you feel better. Everyone has their own pain but I think all we have to do is get use to it until it feels like nothing because it's easy to pretend to understand their advice not to frustrate them.

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    • Still sad that we get blamed for our depression or when we speak up for being offended and they think it is our choice to be. How is it my fault I'm born with natural human emotion?

  • 3d

    Clear one's mind, deliberately focus on something neutral and non personal, try doing this to the exclusion of everything else (takes lots of practice and patience and time but it is worth the effort) and withdraw internally into a state of calm. Also refrain from deliberately thinking of whatever depressing things that are plaguing one at present. Let it all go until one becomes tranquil. One will fell much better and relaxed after that. Hope this helps.

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  • Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I see blood on my hands
    the same as you do
    Changing the "mask" every
    I dont know what else can i say
    Walking down the street
    thinking "its all the same"
    But its just "another" day

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  • I'm going through this now and don't want to I just want to go back when I was happy in life but now I just don't care about anything anymore.

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    • Feeling hopeless is so hard!
      I understand what missing your regular life feels like.
      You're an amazing person, even if you don't feel like it. 😉
      I always say... seek treatment and a friend who will support you. The right treatment plan for you is unique, just like you 😊

    • 7d

      I’m so sorry... you don’t deserve this at all. If you ever need to talk about it, I’m always around.

  • I would call it remission rather than a cure. As many people will have the symptoms return later in life.

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  • Had this for yesrs, destroyed my life, then wife left me for me for same guy she had affair with and BOOM, everything got better, turns out she was the cause. Everyday she leaves, is a better days brighter day for me.

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  • I'd say you just about nailed it.
    It seems like when you're in that good spot, the rollercoaster of life is going to keep going up but then takes the drastic drop.

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  • I can totally relate. I'd like to add that just because I'm depressed, doesn't make me suicidal or have suicidal thoughts. I hate it when people assume that I'm suicidal just because I have depression.

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  • The worst thing someone with a mental illness can do is try to get "treatment" it's a trap. Only people in the real world can help you, mental health workers are the most apathetic, sadistic psychopaths in the entire universe.

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  • You were spot on. Depression is a monster no one deserves to be overcome by.

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  • To what do you attribute your depression? What early life experiences did you have? Children are not born depressed. Either there is a chemical malfunction or something happened that caught the person in an emotional state they can't seem to rise out of.

    I've been depressed and had those thoughts of just end it, but was short term. Depression to me is our bodies/minds way of saying "something is wrong". Trouble is, some broken record is stored in our sub conscious and if it t isn't rooted out, it controls. That's my guess as to what is going on.

    ever try hypnosis?

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  • This is good stuff! My dad is currently going through some of that depression, do you have any advice for me to be able to help him?

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  • I am depressed because I am ugly and lonely also I am depressed because I am not well educated or intelligent. Also I hate living alone and being either invisible to the oppesite sex or the subject of being ridiculed for my ugliness.

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  • Alright, fine. I'll bite.
    I suffer from clinically diagnosed depression as a rezult of my anxiety from my other 'brain problems' that I don't care to elaborate on. I don't want to discredit anyone else's experiences or suffering because we've all gone throuh different things. However, I'm sure someone out here needs this right now: Get off your ass and do something daily. Idle minds are a factory for poor physical and mental health. You'll feel like shit for about 2 weeks, but push through. The payout will be worth it. It almost certainly won't take your depression away, but it will make the days ahead easier.

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    • I agree with you. I've found that when I am able to stay busy, not overworked but busy with things other then the everyday chores, I do better at keeping. depression and anxiety under control. I try to do things I love or make me feel good like art or volunteering locally.

  • 7d

    I want to add that the weariness of the soul is another thing. just the feeling of being so done with life.

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  • Depressed people see things in life that regular happy folk will never see or understand. This makes the life of a depressed person a very lonely experience.

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  • As I myself suffer from depression, I can
    certainly relate.

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  • What people with depression need is EMPATHY, not ADVICE

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    • I have to say one more thing... Please Stop Judging People With Depression! It's not pretend, it's real. Until you experience it for yourself, you will never understand.

  • Drink and watch some really funny movies. Make more friends. 🍻

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  • 6d

    This isn't just depression. This is suicidal self hate. I've been hard core depressed for many years but suicidal thoughts are never there because I know I can solve my problems. Find joy in something. I found joy in my laboratory, until democrats stole it from me because I wouldn't be part of the hate crimes they committed against the black neighborhoods. I just wanted to come into work and help people. I wouldn't purposefully mess up the black neighborhoods so they could get more federal funding to steal for political campaigns. Now I'm ganna burn down Nancy Pelosi's house over it.(metaphorically) At no point have I hated myself or felt trapped. I control my own destiny and always have.

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  • A lot of this is why I've never told a single person about it. Just gonna continue keeping it to myself

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  • Always find it dumb when some one calls it a disease.
    Cause it is a mental disoder completely different.

    Also kinda find that dumb cause how the hell can me coming to the conclusion that life don't matter since we all die at some point be a mental health issue.
    That is like saying 1+1=2 is mental health issue.

    Depression for no reason or bipolar sure that's denfinatly a mental disorder but been sad for a clear reason cannot be a disorder nor disease.

    That's why i say my suicidal depression i have is not a mental health problem at all.
    It's just logic and the coming to terms with the truth.

    Kinda went off on a rant on one thing here but meh this is what i think.
    Also kinda explains why smart people become more prone to be depressed cause they realise the truth and just have to learn to deal with it or die.

    So yea just saying maybe another thought to put in your take.

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    • 5d

      Nihilism and depression are most likely corolated, I don't have any studies on it, but I'd love to see some.

  • 6d

    When life hits you like this you need professional help. Trying to do it on your own will not work. I had a daughter to a girl I met on holiday, didn't meet up again for about 15years. Sadly both died in a fire, I have never felt grief like that , the anger the guilt , the nightmares all I wanted to end it all. My family, and friends said you will get over it. All I did was get drunk and just tried to end it. A girl I told about it said you need help see your GP he will point you in the right direction. So I did he put me on some tablet to help with the deppression. And set up some concelling, I thought how can talk about it do any good. But to my surprise if does help, it doesn't take the pain away it helps you to control it so you can move on. I'm still on tablet but my life is a lot better !!!

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  • 5d

    I mean reading this made me depressed so I should’ve avoided it 😵

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  • This is so very true! thanks for sharing - coming from someone who has had depression

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  • "there is no cure" is false

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    • So what's the cure? Please share with everyone.

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    • So we agree cool

    • @Unit1 I was being sarcastic

  • I had this shit for over 4 years

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  • Yeah I agree with this all

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  • Violets are violet, not blue...

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  • Good take.

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  • 7d

    TLDR. Why, oh why?

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  • 3d

    Did you borrow that picture from hentai video.

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  • 5d

    Depression in men is really fucking difficult, depression in women is laughably easy

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  • 7d

    Good perspective

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  • I’ve had a long history of mild to moderate depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few years ago. I kept walking up in the middle of the night but couldn’t go back to bed. I’ve also gone through phases were I couldn’t eat anything and would involuntarily lose lots of weight. 99% of the time it got aggravated with relationship issues. Being rejected hurt but being friendzoned and mocked for it made me feel I like I had a personality and appearance that women don’t respect. But I later found that wasn’t true.

    I’ve been on and off SSRis. I’m currently on bupropion. Its supposed to be the safest one with the least side effects. But I’ve noticed a few (have a hard time climaxing sexually).

    With all the said I find the BEST remedy outside of exercise and healthy eating is booze, booze, booze and little nose candy to spark you up.

    Jk jk. Nah I don’t do that. But I found that traveling, exploring and changing the scenery makes a huge difference. Gets my mind of things that remind me of why I’m depressed.

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  • Wow I had no idea

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  • Nice

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  • I used to be depressed for years until the point I lost all my feelings for over a year. And I didn't feel happy, sad, bored, angry nothing not even empathy. And they find put my hormones wasn't line they should be. So I Think you should check your hormones cause that can help a lot. And I agree Most psychologest can't do shit

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