Lately I have been going through depression and anxiety, thoughts of the future. Possibilities, trails of endless imagination and becoming lost in thought!
I have been regularly seeking counselling / therapy help, this is helping in many ways. Having that person to talk to without any drawback, or 'outbursts' of judgement, control, belittlement, or manipulative behaviour!
Now I am seeing the world in a different view. My breathing has improved, my emotions are making a come back and I feel relieved, happy, anxious, sad (about to cry), shocked and is disbelief of how far my life has come, and how much further I need to go!
I see people regularly that look disheartened, frustrated, angered, in hopelessness and my thoughts go haywire, like why....I am sorry these people are going through these thoughts, feelings or hard times. I wan to reach out and say 'Hey everything is ok, you have this, you have your life, you're strong, and you need to believe, you can get through whatever it is you are going through!'
Being I struggled for years, being talked to like I was nothing, like I had no thoughts, feelings, Plans, Future, career or even support to fall back on. I wallowed into myself and had been that way for a very long time (20 years - give or take).
Anyway, as I was saying. Seeing these people, people who work hard everyday, get up and go to work, do something with their lives, or being creative. I myself am finding it hard to find words, or say to someone 'Life is ok-be brave'.
So when you feel down on yourself, or something has happened, or you are having a 'Brain-fog' day for no reason. Find yourself, stand or sit where you are for five minutes, and ask yourself...'Why are you here?'...What have you done in life?... What is something significant that stands out?.... Has anyone asked if you are ok?.... If so, ask someone else if they are ok!.... How their day has been!.... What their plans are!... or to even take 5 minutes to talk about anything.
I have been through a number of 'Situations' myself, and know from experience that there are others out there, that have either been through the same, similar or even worse!
Life may be scary, but understand that you can make a change, there is hope and there is freedom (whether you are stuck in a 9-5, or endless roaming around looking for something)
A message to keep yourself going and do not look back, find your life, find your goals. You are amazing! Keep well. I will be around. Much Love Kieran...