I've gained 20 pounds since we've started dating.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful, and I believe that he thinks that. However I've gained 20 pounds since we've started dating. probably about 10-15 since we've been having sex. do you think he has noticed? I've asked him, he is aware of the weight gain, but says I look the same... do you think he finds me less attractive because I'm chubbier than I use to be? (20 pounds ago I was slim).. do you think inside, he actually does know I'm chubby? he always tells me I'm not fat, but I don't know... ahh help!

[englove369]

He actually might be telling you the truth about not noticing. If somebody sees someone often, they're not gonna notice a gradual change like that. Sure if he looked at pics of you from when you were 20 lbs lighter compared to now, then he'd probably notice some difference (I say "some" because contrary to what a lot of people seem to think, on most body types + 20 lbs doesn't make THAT big of a difference as far as how you physically look is concerned). But, if he's not looking at older pics of you, then he really may not have noticed.

And even IF he has noticed and he's just telling you he hasn't, as to not hurt your feelings. Then that just means he cares about your feelings and it doesn't matter to him that you're 20lbs heavier anyway.

[Asker]

Thank you! I think that might be what it is.. because it was so gradual.

[noregret11]

ok

first off, he notices, no way to hide 20 lbs

second, guys know that the universal answer to do I look fat is no

Third, there is a good possibility that he still does find you very attractive, chubby or not.

If he is still with you, and not hinting at getting in shape, he thinks you are fine, but if you are worried about ti, the easiest way to be sure is to get back to your old weight (not trying to suggest or pressure into that, but it really is the only way you will be able to tell what he is thinking right now.)

[Jacked7]

Yes he notices. No that doesn't mean he thinks you are uglier. Looks might attract us first but only superficial creeps only focus on that. I'm sure he has become hooked onyour inner beauty as well and will find you lovely no matter what. But that doesn't mean to let yourself go. Always try to be the best you can be for your partner. You wouldn't want him to quit trying for you

[SecretMystery]

Shouldn't you be the best for YOURSELF and not someone else? I mean you make a valid point in saying that we wouldn't want our men to let themselve go. But at the end of the day, it should be a personal goal for each person to be who and how they'd like to be. Not because you want to appeal ANY man or woman.

[Asker]

I agree with you actually. thank you for being honest!

[Jacked7]

Of course...but there is still a part of us that want our partners to find us beautiful or sexy or attractive. But I've seen it a million times...women especially...they spend an hour in front of the mirror making sure that every spot of make-up is perfect before every date...but then as soon as they land that man, and are sure he is thiers, they quit all the extra attention. Men do it to though...we hit the gym, run 13 miles, and then quit. Why don't we want to look good for them anymore.

[Dela1111]

Of course he's noticed and probably not appreciated ur weight gain. Remember just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you can let yourself go, and twenty pounds is def letting yourself go. His lie is a "little white lie" to make you feel better. You really should do what you can to lose weight, not worry about him saying what it takes to make you feel better.

[Asker]

In a way I agree with you. I feel like having a boyfriend is causing me to let go a little bit... and I do want to look good for him. thank you for being honest!

[shiza]

i think you should stop worrying about how he feels about you when it comes to weight. guys don't bother over that stuff much. if you think you should loose some weight then go exercise or go on a diet and if not then don't worry about it. I typically don't care about a girls weight unless they start to rapidly gain weight and then I would be concerned about her. but if it just because you haven't been exercising in the past weeks then don't worry about it.

[hotxos]

your like not fat at all, just eat what you wanna eat and stop worrying so much what other people think! when I'm dating I usually gain like 60-80 lbs because of all the great fattening food they make and always overfeed me,being fat is not bad for you, while starving is!