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Anonymous,
You are about to get an answer from someone who honestly felt and thought that every single day.
Very often I would cry when I stood side on seeing my stomach looking like I'd had the after effects of giving birth when in actual fact, I'd never given birth at all.
I'd cry when I wasn't asked out on dates, or when all my close girlfriends would be checked out by guys, while I wasn't even given a single mere glance over.
I used to wonder:
Why aren't I being noticed? Am I not pretty or attractive? My friends think so, but yet, I just got pushed aside by a mans' eyes and ignored, because *Amy* is slender with beautiful long blonde hair and boobs in the right place, and *Meg* though shorter than me, has got that dazzling smile and amazing smoky eyeshadow with heels I can't wear. Etc, etc. So, I felt envious.
Late last year I met with a personal fitness trainer and felt scared and daunted before even handing over my debit card. I still train with her and I have to say, I have felt fitter and slimmer in a healthy looking way, and with all my depressed feelings I've endured over the years, I have progressed with diminishing the depressed feelings and feel more positive instead of feeling fear.
Guys in nightclubs and public places used to stare or remark that I looked like a "fat/overweight", "pregnant-looking" "chubby" person, which would come from different cultural backgrounds that made me feel as if they were after looks and nothing much else in the intellegence department.
In recent times, men haven't uttered even a gaping stare like they used to. Weight wise I'm still anything but slim but I have a bubbly happy persona that I didn't fully possess before which I think makes all the diference.
I have decided to fight for feeling better about myself. I now accept the body type I am, what my achievements can be, what my limitations are, and what my risks are with choices of either keeping fit and healthy or having an Arnott's Mint Slice from the fridge
Instead of comparing and contrasting myself to other people, I now happily value and respect that I am me, and men now find my happy positivity one of the most attractive assets, other than my smile.
Tell yourself a minimum of one nice thing about yourself every day. Learn one new fact about the world every day, and tell yourself that you are fabulous, unique and important every day. And before you leave anywhere, take one last look at your beautiful self and smile. You then can conquer the world :) No-one taught me this, It's what I've educated myself on believing because self education is like no other. Don't feel pressure, feel pleasure.
oh hell yeah.
as a "fatty", you have no idea the kind of shit people throw at me just because of my size. And I'm not even like... whale huge... I weigh about 195-200 lbs, but I'm pear shaped. I know I'm big, but I can still do my daily activities and be on my feet for hours. There are definitely tons of people who are bigger than me. There's nothing more I desire than being thinner so people would finally fucking STOP saying hurtful things to me. Right now though, I still have many other psychological problems that all interconnect with each other. My weight problem is one of them.
So the pressure is definitely there, yes. From society. From fucking DUMB, IGNORANT strangers whom I have never wronged in my whole life. If you slip on ice and fall as a "fatty", people will just laugh at your "fat ass". If you're a skinny girl and you slip on ice, people would help you or ask if you're OK.
Tell me what that is if not discrimination. Racial discrimination might start to slowly lessen, but there's another type of discrimination that is definitely not less hurtful. Sometimes I just want to drop down and cry right then, after receiving a mean comment from some imbecile of a stranger.
Why can't people just mind their fucking own business and leave other people with their own bodies alone?
I'm sorry people are so mean. I agree with you people can suck no matter what you look like. I would say ignore them or don't let it bother you but, I know that's easier said than done. I hope you start to feel better about yourself. But, try not to let other people get you down. Do you and let them do them. That's really all you can do and fuck the assholes out there. I know there are a lot of mean and ignorant people in the world but I hope you get better with the psychological stuff be it depression or what ever. I know from experience that it's tough. Good luck to you and keep your head up! :)
I used to put a lot of pressure on myself for how I looked. I was constantly worrying about where my bum was, whether people were staring at it or not, I would complain my thighs are too fat or that I have too much pouch on my belly when I sit down.
Don't force yourself to love your body. That doesn't work. You need to notice the things you do love about your body. Maybe it's your eyes, your hands, it could be your feet or elbows. You might love your boobs, your butt, your legs. Pay attention to the things you like about your body, and then think, if you're attached to that beautiful skin, then doesn't that make you beautiful? It does.
I used to look in a mirror and frown, jiggle my legs to see the skin wiggle and hate it. Now I look in a mirror and smile and wish I had someone to appreciate my body with me. I still worry about my bum sometimes, if I'm bending over or climbing a ladder with someone holding it beneath me, but that's normal. And will go away with time.
(And I make all my friends either roll their eyes or laugh when I show them the face my stomach makes when I sit down XD)
I'm fat. I know I'm fat. And I'm not talking about "omg I had two tic tacs and a slice of pizza I'm so fat" fat. I'm the "really sick kid who couldn't exercise for medical reasons (Drs told me if I continued to play netball, they'd stop treating my injuries) and the Got out of the habit of exercising" fat. I'm getting better, healthier. I've had crippling doubts about myself from the opposite side of the spectrum.
One of my friends had anorexia. She battled with it for a long time and I was devastated when she died.
The thing is we had exactly the same fears when it came to food and image issues. We just dealt with it in complete opposite ways.
98% of the women you know judge themselves against other women. It's what we, as a gender, have been taught to do and it's not going to go away over night.
Stop using the word "should" it will make you miserable. (Think about how often the word "should" is coupled with negative thoughts.)
I'm really proud of you for asking the question and for making the decision to recover and keep up with recovery. You are doing so well.
Thank you! I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I'm glad you're doing ok after that it must have been really hard to lose her. I really appreciate you being encouraging. You're awesome! I'm glad you're getting healthy for yourself. Keep us the good work!
Everyone has some insecurity about something. I was anorexic for a few years when I was younger but I had to start eating again because it got to the point where I was sick in the hospital. Everyone compares themselves and wishes they could fix things but you're you and that's good. You'll never please everyone. So just tell yourself you're beautiful. A tip: What I did to build my self esteem is when id think something negative about myself, id contradict it with something positive about myself. Like I may not have a flat stomach but I've got a kind heart. Or I may not be the prettiest but I'm very smart. And my size may not be ideal but my eyes are beautiful. Find things little things like that. Hope this helps in any way
Thanks it did help. I guess I knew I wasn't the only one but, it's still glad to see other people feel the same way sometimes and have recovered and everything. So yes you were very helpful.
Not to be skinny more along the lines of just having a female curvy body. Gotta have nice boobs, round shaped plump butt, small waist, nice and lean legs or thick and taller. Anyway I used to think I was too thin, back in the day I was so thin I was a late bloomer. I love myself and my body now I didn't growing up. Sure I get self conscious from time to time when I see a girl or lady with something I'd like to have, height, rounder butt and smaller waist but oh well. I am mostly content with my body it will always change though.
Nope I feel that all the time and always have. I've always looked different than my friends, at first it was because they were white and I wasn't but that's normal for a kid. But as we got older it got more apparent. They were so skinny, so damn skint and they didn't have I do anything. I was chubby but I was working hard. I ate better than them, I worked out more than them, I took care of my skin better than them, I just tried harder but no matter what they were always skinnier than me. I remember going to McDonald and each of them got two cheeseburgers and a coke, I couldn't eat like that so I had water yet they were still skinnier after eating all that.
It just ruined me I didn't understand why I couldn't look like that even though I was doing everything right. It made me so angry. I just began restricting more and more and more. And I still do it all the time today but it's like I'm going to be that thin or pretty or have skin that perfect
I feel pressured by the media, but in my social circle no one could care less. during my divorce some years ago, I lost a lot of weight and was a bit too skinny (but toned, I worked out a lot) but as soon as that emotional stress was gone I started to put it back on again. I still have a nice shape and figure but just bigger...
so I guess, I am a over my ideal weight right now and could take it off if I wanted to. Currently I just don't give a damn because I feel happy, and get (non asked for) reassurance from my fiance that he loves me exactly the way I am.
I don't, and I think it's because of my age. When I was in my twenties I was obsessed with trying to please everyone by doing my best to be thin (ner). When I was in my thirties I was in a serious relationship where my boyfriend at the time (also a grown up) was seeing me for more beautiful things about me and without having to actually say so, was forgiving of my extra weight, just as I didn't make any big deal about his "flaws". Now I'm in my forties and truly don't give a fuck. I had heard that as we women age, the more secure we get and it feels very freeing to let go of what other people think and just be the person I am without trying so hard to please everyone. Besides, my body type has become part of who I am. I am recognizable with the look I have, and I am healthy even though I can seem to take off the weight I want. By and large, like I said, I just don't give a fuck. :)
You're absolutely not alone. Personally, for me, it's being healthy and fit, not being thin, and I've been lucky to have a solid sense of self-confidence to keep it from being an issue, but I doubt there is any girl out there who has never felt she could be a bit more this or a bit more that.
Also, kudos to you on battling anorexia. There's far more to it than most people think and I applaud you for being willing not only to face the issue and fight, but manage to stay relatively stable for three years.
No. I get pleasure out of being then. I don't like feeling heavy. If anything people pressure me to gain weight not be thin. Even people who say they are attracted to thin think I'm too thin. I've always been this way except once when my metabolism slower down use to medication. Worst time of my life. I felt so disconnected from myself my thinking nature spiritually-- everything I love in life.
I've never felt external pressure to be thin, it is just very important to me.
I don't think being any which way bc of external pressure is healthy whether that's thin muscly curvy ditzy emotionless or whatever. I think people should find what works for then and Persue it healthily.
I'm fat. I'll admit that right out. I used to feel a lot of pressure to be thin, to be fit. Even though I am healthy despite my size. For my height I am supposed to weigh 110. That number always bothered me. Not so much anymore.
Now I focus more on loving myself the way I am and continuing to eat good and be active, with the goal of being happy. Not the goal of losing weight.
I've joined several body positive groups and met amazing people who have helped me though my rough times!
Sorry to hear about your anorexia..
I feel a pressure to be healthy above being skinny.
It makes a HUGE difference eating clean and no gluten apart from rice.
Plus working out changes your whole mood and mindset.
Do it for you, not to attract anyone.
I absolutely do. I think most women do. It is sad that there is such an emphasis on physical attractiveness in the world. The world seems like a really shallow place sometimes. It's hard when when that's all we see in the media and other women in the world feel the same way, that's why they dress sexy and wear make up, etc. and we sometimes feel like we have to compete. I know I get sucked into this way of thinking ALL the time. I think the best thing to do is surround yourself with people who don't make you feel inferior and do things to make yourself feel better once in a while such as exercise or dressing up.
I feel as though all girls have the pressure to be thin or fitter then what they are now. Everyone compares themselves to other people and wishes 'I wish I was that skinny' or 'I wish my body looked like that' or 'I wish I had better features and was as pretty as her' but to be honest, people will look at you and feel the same way <3
You're definitely not the only one who feels that way. I had an eating disorder in high school and I don't diet because I end up back in eating disorder thought whenever I do.
What changed for me was an understanding that my body isn't inherently made to be pretty. By giving myself permission to be ugly I could start loving my body for everything it does for me. In turn, that gave me the confidence to dress and look the way I want to.
The moral of the story is that you are worth way more than your appearance, be that good or bad.
no sweetie my sister had suffered from the same thing also, and you are making the right decision that you are recovering from the anna, anw you are beautiful just the way you are, and you don't have to put a lot of pressure on you babe cause no one deserves to be thin, perfect or pretty just be u the way you that u like yourself
We all compare ourselves to other women, it's part of being a girl.
Even girls who others think are the prettiest girls in the world compare themselves to other girls and have issues with at least one part of their body.
Being critical of yourself is dangerous, and I had a friend die from anorexia. I believe that the best thing you can do is be healthy. Concentration on being healthy will bring everything else together.
YES
but ONLY (in this order) from:
1. ideal golf weight (the sport is frustrating enough at ideal weight)
2. Sitting, moving, range of motion
3. Feeling good and diet more unrestricted
4. Mirror
Complements run off my back like water on a duck, so NOT this
No I don't , matter of fact I embrace my differences, I have teeth that look like fangs and instead caring I was made fun of I embrace it
Here's something to remember skinny wasn't always the best, Renaissance liked woman bigger.. times change and there is no way to please the media for they will always want more control, love your self
Nope. I want to be thin/fit because I want to. I don't pay attention to the media, I want my body to be the way I want it, even if that's not what society wants. Girls who feel pressure are letting media affect them way too much.
I have anorexia too, but mine is untreated. It sucks cuz I can't loose more weight for some reason. But yeah, I feel like that all the time too. I want to look prettier and I want to care about myself more than I do
skinny doesn't make you pretty. a lot of the skinny girls I know are trying to get thicker. I would never want to be fat and out of shape, so I like to keep my waist small and be toned but I still like to have some thickness
yes, i feel very pressure specially cause all my family is obese i'm skinny (115) but its very hard to maintain my body :( since i tend to gain weight super fast. and i try to workout at least 2 hours 5 to 6 times per week just to be skinny, :(
i will admit to having legit panic attacks when I eat. I can't relax idc how much i try too... I am so aware that I am eating. I hate it. So yes I totally understand you.
I hope you learn how to calm yourself down while you eat. but, I understand I get more anxious after I eat or before I do sometimes thinking about how much food I'm about to eat. but, I know I have to eat so I do.
It is a lot of pressure women feel. TV Ads, Movie Stars, and even friends can make me feel like I'm to heavy.
Do I do anything about it? No.
Am I depressed everyday because of it? Yes.
i did in like middle school but i learned to love myself still working on it but i am better. i am going to go bed right now but if you want to know how i did it why not message me?
I feel a lot of pressure to just not look the way I do on general.
But I have no desire to be really thin, idgaf what the "media" says, I prefer myself at 115 lbs to 90
Not really. I feel pressure to be "thick" or "curvy" cuz that's all the rave. I try to eat like crazy and I guess only my face gets fatter cuz my body remains thin.
Dont worry every girl tries to compare herself to someone prettier or uglier recovering anorexic or not. You have to learn to love yourself first before you can expect anyone else to love you. No one is perfect after all so you may think "damn she's so pretty why i can't be her" but you dont know how bad they feel about themselves or how worst their self esteem is than yours! Keep your head up and stay pretty not insecure !
Definately! Other people make you feel so crap about your weight and think they are trying to be helpful or "honest" when it comes out pretty hurtful ! Not cool!!!
You are beautiful, and the trutb is outside appearance doesn't matter, it's whats on the inside that a guy will come chasing for... be you... and don't worry about looks.
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