How to tell someone I think I have a eating disorder?

[Anonymous]

I have been struggling with food since I was 9 years old. I used to be scared if I ate then I would choke and die. I was always scared every time meal time came and I would anticipate it all day and start crying and shaking just looking at the food on my plate. I would hide it in my checks then spit it out in the toilet and I would take toilet roll to the table and hide my dinner in there and put it in my pocket. I got help and it slowly got better then about a year ago a lot of crap happend in my life and I went on a diet to lose a little weight but as soon as I started I couldn't stop I became obsessed with counting calories and exercising and finding new ways to lose weight. I started restricting how much food on my plate I could eat. Then I stopped eating breakfast and lunch and only eat a small meal at dinner time. If I eat any junk food one day then the next I starve myself. I look at my stomach in the mirror everyday especially after every meal. I get up in the middle of the night and start exercising to help lose more weight. I like the way that I can control how much food I eat it make me feel good. If my stomach is full I feel disgusted and can't stop thinking about it all day. No matter how little I have on my plate I will section it off and only let myself eat a limited mouthful. All I think about 24/7 is how I can eat as little as possible and how to lose more weight. The only times I do force myself to eat is when I feel so weak and that I might pass out so I eat a little but just enough to not feel dizzy. My family has started saying that I look really skinny and question me on food but I just blow it off and say am not a bit eater. I think they just think am obsessed with being slim. They don't think or have any idea how bad it is. I want to tell someone but at the same time in my head I don't think it's that bad yet so why should I worry then. No one ever really notices how little I eat. But I have been reading story's online about people dying from ED. I don't want that to happen but I am scared to tell. I don't even know how to start. I was thinking of writing a letter and giving it to them next week but what if they laugh. But maybe am not that bad maybe am just on a strict diet should I just wait. ?

[hthrilla]

Aww honey. .. I know that had to have taken courage. And to answer your question, you just told someone! :) I think you've recognized that you can't control this on your own or at minimum there is area for concern. Do you have any one that you trust that won't judge you? People will worry so be ready for that. Do you know what you would like to gain if you did tell someone what's truly going on? The more you feel comfortable, the more you will open up and be receptive to any help offered. Be open minded and share this with someone or a group that will be understanding.

[Asker]

Thank u. Am really scared no one will take me seriously and will just think it's a joke or no big deal. I don't really know what I want to happen I know that I need to tell someone I trust so they can help and advise me on what I to do. I know the most obvious step is to go to the doctor about it but it's not an easy thing to do. The biggest problem is people will just tell me you need to eat but it's not that easy especially as I live alone so starving myself is an easy thing to do. I guess just telling someone will help.